A story by any other name
by aussiesportstar
Summary: Basically its POTC with an extra character or two. Sam is Elizabeth's best friend and Will's sister, she along with Liz gets captured but she decides to make the best out of a bad situation instead of freaking out like Liz.
1. the chapter with no name

**Disclaimer - *** turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!* falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. Now let's get started.

A story by any other name...

*** Thunk...Thunk.Thunk*** Samantha Turner's (I know I know) uneven footsteps echoed on the docks as she ran towards the Swann's residence 

 "Stupid leg, Stupid ceremony, stupid Will 'Why don't you go via the docks, Sam? It would be a much more interesting trip then going in a carriage' Will is gonna pay" she grumbled as she weaved her way through the variety of merchant sailors and fishermen. 

"Grrrr now I'm gonna be late" she mumbled as she stoped to catch her breath. Athletic as she was, her left leg always gave her trouble. Ever since she was a little girl, her kneecap would pop in and out of her knee, and this caused her to have a constant limp, although it wasn't noticeable when she walked, it caused her to be unable to run as fast as a normal person could. 

Today was a big day; she was accompanying her best friend Elizabeth to Captain Norrington's promotion ceremony and as late and angry she was she couldn't fight the urge to stop and smell the sweet salty air.

Samantha was more know to the upperclassmen and women than her half-brother William as she was an independent woman who did as she pleased and usually got away with it, this intrigued the men and astounded the ladies. She didn't dress like a lady, but still she didn't dress like a man, she dressed her way and her way only. A fine example would be today, she was wearing an emerald dress that set off her deep green eyes and instead of being a full dress, it was split diagonally from her right ankle to the top of her left knee leaving the bottom of her right leg bare and showing her strappy sandals. Her curly hair sat upon her head in a golden crown letting a few strands dangle down to frame her face and finally her mother's locket sat snugly upon her neck, the opal in the centre of it glistening red, blue and green.

**~15 minutes later~**

Sam dragged herself to the front door of the mansion.

 ***knock. Knock. Knock* **

"Welcome to … oh hello Miss Turner, are you alright?" asked Mario the doorman.

"Yes. Yes I shall be ok once I catch my breath. Is Elizabeth here? Or am I so late that she has moved?" she remarked as she collapsed into the chair by the door.  

"No malady she is still in her room getting her self ready" laughed Mario

"I don't suppose you want to carry me up to her room do you?" Sam asked sweetly.

"I would love to but my back just hasn't been the same since you made me carry Miss Swann and yourself down to the docks just because you both conveniently "sprained your ankles"' 

"We didn't make you. You insisted that you had to carry us. Remember"

"I'm not that old malady I do remember……"

"Oh is that Lizzie calling?! Best be on my way now" she spoke hurriedly as she rushed up the stars to Lizzie's room.

On her arrival she heard Mr Swann and Lizzie discussing Captain Norrington's promotion. She stuck her tongue out when she heard the words "Norrington" and "fine gentleman" in the same breath.

"Ding Dong! Good day Governor Swann. Hey Lizzie, how's it hanging?" Sam said with a smile.

"Please use proper language" gowned The Gov      

"Well nothing is hanging or moving for that matter" replied Elizabeth from behind the curtain.

"I'm told it's the latest fashion in London" announced the Gov, sticking his chest out proudly like he was first to hear of this information.

 "Well, women in London must've learned not to breathe." Elizabeth replied

Sam snorted. Gov. Swann turned his head to say something about her snorting luckily Mario entered.

"My lord, you have a visitor."

 " Don't move sir, I shall let you make a grand entrance" Sam and Liz stifled a giggle because they both knew how much he loved to make big deals out of small things. 

Sam reached the stairs in time to see Will break the sconce and hide it in the umbrella stand.

"I saw that dear William!" Sam teased "And why didn't you tell me you were coming here?"

"Sam, you knew I was delivering the sword to Governor Swann"

"Did not"

"Did too"

"Did not"

"Did too"

"Did not"

"Did too"

"Did not infinity. HAH" Sam smiled triumphantly 

"Child" Will shot back

"Excuse me but I am 2 years your senior young man" Sneered Sam

"Which makes that last remark even harsher" Will smiled

"Anyway why did you make me walk when I could have had a ride with you?" Asked Sam

"None of your business"

"Ooohhhh I know. You didn't want me to see you get all dressed up for Lizzie. And don't try to deny I've seen it, every time you see her you go all gaga" 

Just then Governor Swann and Elizabeth enter and Will goes into a daze as he sees Elizabeth all dressed up.

"AH HA there, see I told you, GAGA always GAGA" shouted Sam

"What on earth are you talking about Samantha" asked Governor Swann 

"Oh I was just saying that… mmmrrpphhh" Will clamped his hand over her mouth.  

"We were just talking about old times and she had a small mental black out. You know how it is with these blonds-by-the-seas. With acceptation to Miss Swann of course"  

"How many times must I ask you to call me Elizabeth" smiled Lizzie

"At least once more, Miss Swann, as always" He replied groggily

"Mmmrrpphhh mmrr mmrmr" Sam struggled against Will

Then they talked about the sword. Blah Blah Blah and while Will did his little sword flippy thing Sam murmured "Show-off" and Will shot daggers at her.

Finally they left for the celebration after lots of Lizzie and Will eye-goggling and an oblivious Governor talking about how good he used to be. 


	2. The Party Enter Jack

**Disclaimer-** * turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!*falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. Now let's get started. *The hand pops out of nowhere and slaps her* Thankyou hand *in singsong voice*

I would like to thank Swanny for being my first reviewer EVER, and thanks for the suggestions, I'll do that. 

BTW people. The story isn't supposed to be exactly like the movie. That would be called Plagiarism if it was and I don't like getting into trouble. 

A story by any other name

When they arrived at the celebration Captain, soon to be Commodore Norrington greeted them warmly, Elizabeth more warmly than the others. 

 "Good day Governor Swann, you look in good health, are you not?" asked Norrington

"Why yes. I have never felt better Captain" Gov. Swann

"Miss Turner you look……umm……errrrr…..interesting" stuttered Norrington while looking Sam up and down.

"Thanks Norrington …" upon getting disapproving looks she reworded her original statement "My apologies _Captain _Norrington my edict isn't as good as those around me as of yet. Your acknowledgement on my dress shows I have achieved the level of shock I intended." Sam smiled sweetly, hopefully trying to avoid anymore conversation with Norrington. He was not her all time favourite person. He was just so…fake and it sickened her. 

"Ahh yes…well…*cough* ahhhh Elizabeth you, of course, look positively radiant…" Norrington continues to blabber on about how Elizabeth looks, while she stands there and smiles politely, nodding thankyou and trying to breathe normally. At this point Sam has wondered off to talk to some of her friends. Meanwhile everyone's favourite hero has arrived at the harbour and is arguing with the guards at the Interceptor. 

*******************************************************************************************

 As Norrington walks to get his promotion and unsheathes his new sword Sam and Elizabeth watch with utter boredom. As Sam starts to copy Norrington as he swings his sword around, Elizabeth wallops her around the head just as Norrington walks over, acting all high and mighty. 

**"May I have a moment?" Asked Norrington, giving Sam a 'go-away-you-annoying-child' look. As Sam walked away over to some yummy noblemen, Norrington commenced with the 'try-to-woo-Elizabeth' plan 798. **

"You look lovely, Elizabeth. I apologize if I seem forward but I… must speak my mind. This promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have not yet achieved – a marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth."

"I can't breathe." Said Elizabeth fanning herself 

"Yes, I'm a bit nervous myself." Laughed Norrington totally oblivious to Elizabeth's fainting, and then finally noticing when she falls over battlement.

"Elizabeth? Elizabeth!" Norrington called *yeah like she's really going to come magically flying back up just because he called her*

Sam came running over and seeing Norrington on the edge *he he* pulls him back and slaps him, not for any reason really, she just wanted to.

"You killed her! What did she finally tell you that you're a tight ass, stuck up, old-acting prick?" hollered Sam into his face and just as he was about to respond, Sam ran off down to the dock. 

"Well, I never" Norrington stuttered to no one in particular as they all made their way down to the docks.

**********************************ENTER JACK*****************************************

As Jack swam up to the dock with Elizabeth the medallion called to the Black Pearl. Murtogg and Mullroy are both standing there, utterly clueless, as they normally are. Sam came running up as Jack brought Elizabeth up on deck. 

"Oh no, Lizzie, Lizzie wake up, please you smell like fish, Oh god she's not breathing" Sam in her panicked state grabbed Jack by the collar of the shirt "Make her breath dammit" 

"Ok, ok luv settle down!" He cuts open the corset and Elizabeth spits out water and tries to breathe "Clearly you've never been to Singapore, oi where'd ya get that?" Jack asked after seeing the medallion.

"Never would have thought of that" Mullroy said as Norrington and crew show up. 

Norrington points his sword at Jack and orders him to his feet. Meanwhile Governor Swann rushes to Elizabeth asking if she is alright. 

"Yeah she is no, and I think instead of arresting her rescuer why don't you, ooohhhh I don't know, Thank him, maybe?" Sam said, standing next to Jack. 

"Father! Commodore, do you really intend on killing my rescuer?" Elizabeth said this as she stepped directly between Jack and Norrington.

"I believe thanks are in order" Norrington sneakingly offers to shake Jack's hand but instead rolls up his sleave to reveal 'P' tattooed on his wrist. "Had a brush with East India Trading Company, Did we, _pirate_?" 

Now at this point shock ensures everyone except Jack and Norrington because of the obvious facts. 

"Hang him" As Governor Swann gave this ridiculous suggestion, and Gillette went for some irons. Norrington discovered a further tattoo. 

"Well, well ….Jack Sparrow isn't it?" asked Norrington sobbingly. 

"_Captain_ Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir" Said Jack 

"OH MY GOD, are you really? You are the hottest pirate in the Caribbean! I mean your soooo cool, I've heard all about you, I just wish we could have met under better circumstances" Sam blabbered in awe. 

"So do I luv. Maybe when I get out of this little jam, we could, get together" Jack said in his oh-so-hot way. 

"Excuse me, who says he is getting out of this. You have a date with the gallows Captain Sparrow" Norrington said ruining the moment. "Neither additional shots nor powder. A compass that doesn't point north." Unsheathing Jack's sword "And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of" Norrington said as he went through Jacks possessions. 

"Ahhhh but you have heard of me" said Jack raising an eyebrow.

*I'm going to go now, I need to have a shower and watch Merrick and Rosso. Also leaving it here I can have a title for my next chapter.*

TOODLES


	3. Jack's daring escapesooo hot

**Disclaimer-** * turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!*falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. Now let's get started. *The hand pops out of nowhere and slaps her* Thankyou hand *in singsong voice*MANGO MANGO MANGO… hmmmm I wonder where hand came from?

A story by any other name

~*previously on ASBAON: Lizzie falls into the water and Jack gets wet.*YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY* 

   The final line was "ahhhh but you have heard of me"

**************************************************************************************

Elizabeth moves in front of Norrington and tries to plead her case.

"Commodore, I really must protest. Pirate or not this man saved my life." She said as she followed Norrington and the others to where they were chaining Jack. Sam, in the meantime, was standing back admiring the good looking pirate trying to get a peak at the abs through the almost see through shirt.

"Nice, very nice, no don't turn that way. Ooohhhh yeah" Sam mumbled to her self. On the other side of the dock, the argument was still going.

"One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness." Norrington stated, in at tone that just screamed I-need-a-thumping.

"Though, it seems enough to condemn him." Jack countered.

"Indeed" Norrington stated as Gillette moved away from Jack, in an absolutely stupid manoeuvre.

"Finally" Jack said as he through his irons around Liz's neck.

"No, don't shoot!" Screeched Gov. Swann 

"I knew you'd warm up to me. Commodore Norrington! My effects, _please_, and my hat. Commodore! Elizabeth. It is Elizabeth isn't it?" Jack 

"It's Miss Swann" snarled Elizabeth, as Jack held her tightly round the neck. 

"Miss Swann , if you'd be so kind. Come, come, dear, we don't have all day. Now if you'd be very kind." Said Jack as she strapped on his sword and placed his hat on his head.

"Easy on the goods, Darling." Jack said as he thrusted his pelvis ever so slightly

"You're despicable." Snarled Liz 

"Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine, and we're square. Gentlemen, M'ladies, you will always remember this as the day that you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" Jack said as he pushed Liz away and escaped by swinging around and landing on a beam above their heads.

"Goodbye" Sam cheerily said waving to him as he swung off.__

"Now, will you shoot him?" Gov. Swann squealed

Sam and Elizabeth walk off with a few guard following them, to make sure Jack didn't find them.

"Isn't he the coolest person you've ever met, I mean he made that escape look soooo easy. Although any capture made by Norrington would be easy to escape from" babbled Sam to Liz "your soooo lucky!" 

"Luck has nothing to do with it, Sam" Said a quite startled Elizabeth "and I do wish you wouldn't bad mouth my future husband"

"WHAT!!!" Screeched Sam startling a nearby horse who disappeared down an alleyway.

"Oh look at what you've done, Guards would you be so kind to help that man retrieve his horse. I'm sure Miss Turner and myself will be quite alright" Elizabeth said as she turned to the two guards that followed.  

"Yes ma'am" they saluted and followed the elderly man down the ally way. 

"As for you, head on home and get changed. You are coming over my house tonight, right?" Elizabeth Asked.

"Yep, won't be too long. Then you can tell us all about you and this Norrington proposal" Said Sam backing away.

"I do wish you would call him by his title" Cringed Elizabeth

"Relax Lizzie. You really need chill on all this posh speaking, _and stuff like dat" Sam said, really laying a thick slurred drunk voice.     _

"You sound like a common pirate" shouted Elizabeth to Sam who was now down the street.

"Rather be a pirate than a prissy Governors Daughter" laughed Sam as she jogged off towards the Blacksmiths.

~* I wasn't quite sure where Will lived so I'll just say that they live in the rooms behind it. If there are rooms, because Mr Brown doesn't want to stay there so he rents it out and lives next door. Ok got.it.good *~

*****************************************************************************

Sam made her way down the street towards the blacksmiths. Saying hello to everyone, she merrily skipped up to the door in time to hear raised voices.

"You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?" A slurred voice questioned.

"I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates." Ok she knew that was will but the other voice was so familiar.  

"Ah. Well, then it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So, if you'll excuse me –" there was a slight pause before the voice continued "Do you think this wise, boy, crossing blades with a pirate?"

"You threatened Miss Swann and endangered my sister."

 "Only a little… she was your sister? Poor girl!! You know what you're doing, I'll give you that. Excellent form but how's your footwork? If I step here; very good. Now I step again. Ta." The voice comes closer, Sam, deciding to be heroic opened the quickly and slipped in, just before Will threw the sword right at her head. If it wasn't for her quick reflexes she would have lost her head.

"WILL!!!! What the HELL do you think you were doing? Obviously you weren't thinking. You could have killed me" Sam screamed, making all those awake cower.

"Sam, I am soooo sorry, I didn't realise you were coming through the door" Will said apologising as he pointed to Jack, who then looked from Will to Sam "I was trying to stop him"

"Oi, don't you try and blame me for this" Jack said backing away from Sam, who was blocking the front door.

"Well you know what I DON'T CARE. I'm going to get changed and going to Elizabeth's for the night." Sam walked up to both Will and Jack and slapped them, hard. "that's for everything" and with that she stalked out of the room.

"Well, that was interesting" Jack exclaimed staring at the door Sam disappeared into. "Anyways. That is a wonderful trick except once again you are between me and my way out. And now you have no weapon." Jack watched as Will grabbed a hot poker, at this point Jack notices all the swords that hang around him. "Who makes all these?" 

"I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!" Will stated proudly.

"LAMEASS" Sam's voice echoed out to them. Will cringed.

"You need to find yourself a girl, mate! Or, perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing her." Once again the voice is heard chanting _"Will Loves __Elizabeth__"****_

** "You're not a eunuch, are you?" Jack looked will up and down. Hysterical laughter can be heard in the background.**

Will sighed "I practice three hours a day, so that when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!" __

Jack and Will continue to fight and manage to go all around the shop. Sam came out in time to catch them coming down from the beams, and continued to watch as Jack grabbed the chimney thing and sprayed Will with it. Sam controlled herself, it wouldn't be proper to laugh as your brother got beaten by the pirate who threatened Liz. Finally the end came, when Jack placed the pistol at Will's head.

"You cheated!" Will looked astonished.

"Pirate!" Jack reminded him 

"Hahaha Will got beaten. This just has to go down in the record books." Sam laughed.

Jack shook his head and laughed then in a serious tone said "Move away."

"No." Will denied him.

"Please, move."

"No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape."

"Will, move your ass, would you. You can't deny him his freedom." Sam challenged. 

"Thankyou, Sam is it?" Jack asked

"Do not address my sister in that way!" Will stated.

"He can bloody well address me anyway he wants. Yes Captain it is." Sam smiled sweetly at Jack. They hear yelling and banging on the door.  

"Please move. This shot is not meant for you." And with that Jack falls unconscious thanks to Mr brown, thumping him on the head.

"Watchya do that for?" ask Sam, just as Norrington and his men broke through the door.

"Excellent work, Mr. Brown. You've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive."

"Just doing my civic duty, sir." Mr. Brown puffed out his chest, proudly. 

"Oh please, as if the fammmmmhhmhhmhmh" Will dragged Sam out the door.

Sam spun around to face Will "Hey, why are you letting him take the credit for what you did? And besides Jack ain't that dangerous anyway" 

"Its best, now just go and see Elizabeth, alright! I'll see you tomorrow" and with that he gave her a kiss on her cheek and sent her on her way.

"Idiot" mumbled Sam and she mounted her horse and trotted through the streets, getting disapproving looks from 'proper ladies'. She just smiled at them and went on her way.


	4. we're under attack! Weeelllll duh!

**Disclaimer-** * turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!*falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. Now let's get started. *The hand pops out of nowhere and slaps her* Thankyou hand *in singsong voice**hand comes out and slaps her again * Now what was that for?? 

Thankyou to all those awesome people who replied;

****

**orcagirl**

Thankyou, owwwhhhhwhwh I feel LUVED :') _TANK-U_

** Sweet A.K**

Wow I made someone give me puppy dog eyes .........I HAVE THE POWER mmmhhhhwwwaaaahhhh *Cough. Cough* sorry I get a little power crazy sometimes. _TANK-U _

** orli*N*keira**

Yes there will be more W/E, just for you. Although I cried out *noooooooooo* in the movie when they kissed. I got a mega evil stare from these 2 old people (only people, besides me and my friends, in the cinema (because it was during school hours)), what they were doing in there I dunno. 

Oh and about Sam, she's meant to be different to Will because she doesn't want to be a high class person, she'd rather go to a good ole pub than a prissy cocktail party (who wouldn't), she's happy the way she is. _TANK-U_

**~*previously on ASBAON: Will and Jack get into a really hot sword fight. Someone sticks up for Will when Mr Brown takes the credit *old fart*. **~*Final Line*~** "Idiot" mumbled Sam and she mounted her horse and trotted through the streets, getting disapproving looks from 'proper ladies'. She just smiled at them and went on her way.**

A story by any other name

"Come here, boy. Want a nice juicy bone? Come here. Come on" said a few grungy prisoners, trying to coax a scrappy dog to bring the keys to him.   

"You can keep doing that forever, the dog is never going to move." Jack smartly added, not moving at all from his place in his jail sell. 

"Oh, excuse us if we haven't resigned ourselves to the gallows just yet." the prisoner with the bone responded.

"Well you could be helpful and tell me about this girl, Sam" Jack asked leaning forward.

"Sam …. Hmmm oh yes I know her. Tough girl. She could drink you under the table and still be able to disable anyone who dare touch her. I guess that's all the training her brother gave her. He's pretty tough too ………" the prisoner continued, Jack sat and listened, he liked this girl even more now; she was tough and regarded as a noblewomen. That could be useful.

*****************************************************************************

In the governor's house, the maid Estrella was putting Elizabeth to bed. Sam was sitting cross – legged on the end of the bed.  

"There you go, Miss. It was a difficult day for you, I'm sure." Estrella said placing a bed warmer in her bed

"I suspected Commodore Norrington would propose, but I must admit I wasn't entirely prepared for it." Elizabeth said thoughtfully.

"Well, I meant you being threatened by that pirate, sounds terrifying." Estrella said stepping back

"Oh, yes, it was terrifying."  Elizabeth Nodded.

"But I'm sure Norrington's proposal was much more terrifying. I mean ewwwww seriously. You wouldn't want to move the wrong thing in his house; he'd send you to the gallows." Sam Stated.

"You make him sound like a monster" laughed Elizabeth.   

"Fancy that, although he is a smart match, Miss, if it's not too bold to say." Estrella smiled.

"It is a smart match. He's a fine man; he's what any woman should dream of marrying." Elizabeth smiled back.

"UMM excuse me; I wouldn't want to marry him. I mean C'mon he wears a WIG for goodness sake" squealed Sam

"SHHHHHH" laughed Elizabeth.

"Well, that Will Turner, he's a fine man, too." Estrella said giving Elizabeth a long look.

"That is too bold." Elizabeth said giving a stern look.

"Well, begging your pardon, Miss, it was not my place." Estrella left the room. Sam looked at Elizabeth.

"Well, I think I can say it." Sam took a breath and started to chant "Liz loves Will, Liz loves Will, Liz loves Will"

"You are such a child" laughed Elizabeth.

"Yeah well its true, Isn't it?" Sam smiled.

"I couldn't say"

"Yes you could" Sam probed.

"Weelllll"

"AH HA! I knew it" Cheered Sam

"But, I don't know if …" Elizabeth drained off.

"Oh Will loves you too. He always has. Haven't you noticed the GaGaness? He is always doing it."

"Really?" asked Elizabeth.

"Ooohhhh, yeah." Sam smiled.

****************************************************************************

In the blacksmith shop, hammering could be heard, and under that a muttering

"Stupid Sam can't believe she didn't even try to help. She just laughed. Grrrr. she is going to make me click soon" Will muttered looking out of the window "Gee it is quite tonight, eerily quite"

****************************************************************************

"You know what you should go and see him, Right now" Said Sam getting up off the bed.

"Oh but it's such an unreasonable time to go." Elizabeth resisted.

"Oh please. He is always up at this time. Banging swords, hehehe….oh c'mon" begged Sam.

"I don't think so. Maybe tomorrow" 

"Yes, You are gonna declare your love for dear William Tomorrow" Sam pointed to the heavens "as god demands that it should be done, it shall"

"What on earth was that?" laughed Elizabeth.

"I do not know" laughed Sam. As they collapsed into a fit of giggles, Cannon fire can be heard.

"Oh. What was that?" asked Elizabeth as she got out of bed and walked towards the window.

"Wasn't me. I didn't fart" stated Sam got up just as the door opened

"M'ladies, we're under attack!" Estrella said shakily.

**************************************************************************

"….. And I remember this one time at James's Bar, she brought down two big guys on one leg" said the prisoner known as Pete. 

"On one leg?" asked Jack.

"Yeah, you see she has this problem with her leg. He kneecap comes out of its thing and leaves the leg disabled. Meaning she can't walk properly when it happens but usually its only when she runs you can notice it" finished Pete as the cannons went off.

"I know those guns" Jack said as he looked out of his little window. "It's the pearl" 

"Black Pearl? I've heard stories. She's been preying on ships and settlements for near ten years. Never leaves any survivors." Pete Said.

"No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?" Jack said leaving the other prisoners stumped. 

*****************************************************************************

Sam, Elizabeth and Estrella are watching the pirates raiding the houses next door.

"You know we'll be next" Said Sam

"I know, hopefully Commodore Norrington will save us" Sighed Elizabeth.

"Yeah right" muttered Sam.

"Oh no here they come" Estrella pointed to the pirates that came though the gate.

"Oh no" Sam groaned. Elizabeth and Sam ran out of the room. Elizabeth saw the butler go to open the door.

"DON'T'' She screamed but it was too late he had already opened the door.

"LIZ don't go down the stairs ya nut" said Sam as she grabbed her arm and dragged her up the stairs    

"Hello, chump." Said the pirate (Pintel), he saw Elizabeth and Sam on the stairs "Up there!" 

"Girls!" another pirate said as they ran up the stairs after the girls.

Quickly they ran back to the room and locked the door.

"Miss Swann, they've come to kidnap you." Estrella said shakily. 

"What?" Asked Elizabeth

"You're the Governor's daughter." Estrella answered.

"Yeah, that's the reason" Said Sam rolling her eyes, they ignored her but she was used to it. "Or it could be the fact that she has a pirate medallion around her neck" This got Elizabeth's attention.

"They haven't seen you. Hide and the first chance you get, run to the fort." Elizabeth said pushing Estrella behind a screen.

"How did you know that?" she asked 

"I saw it, when Captain Sparrow saved you" she said as the door started to give way. Elizabeth grabbed the bed warmer just as Ragetti and Pintel come in. She thumps Pintel in the face knocking him down, where Sam proceeds to kick him.

"Gotcha!" Ragetti grabs Elizabeth but she releases the hot ashes on his head. "It's hot! It's on me!" he shouts as Sam and Elizabeth run out of the room.

"Come on!" Pintel shouts to Ragetti as they corner Elizabeth and Sam on the stairs. The pirates are distracted by one of the other pirates being taken out by a cannon ball, so the girls piss-bolt the other way. Luckily Pintel and Ragetti are stopped by a falling chandelier; the girls run into the dining room and lock the doors.

"I wish I had my sword" wined Sam as Elizabeth tried unsuccessfully to remove a sword from a shield.

"Come on we have to hide" said Elizabeth as she looked for a suitable place to hide. 

"Quick! Up the chimney!" Said Sam, walking over to the fireplace. 

"No."

"How about out the window"

"Quick, in the closet" Said Elizabeth pulling an unhappy Sam in behind her just as the door broke down.       

"We know you're here, Poppets." Pintel said looking around the room.

"Poppets." Echoed Ragetti 

"Come out and we promise we won't hurt yous. We will find you, Poppets. One of you has something of ours and it calls to us. The gold calls to us." Pintel said as he moved closer to the closet, noticing the rug corner turned up. 

"Gold calls…" Ragetti Echoed. 

 Pintel looks through the door crack "'Ello, Poppets." And the doors opened.


	5. aboard the Pearl!

**Disclaimer-** * turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!*falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. *The hand pops out of nowhere and slaps her* Thankyou hand *in singsong voice* Now let's get started. *hand comes out and slaps her again * Now what was that for?? I'm gonna get Bobby if you're not careful…you know he doesn't like you….

**_TO MY KIND REVIEWRS_**

**KawaiiRyu**

Thanks, my fav part was the commentary 2!! _TANK-U_

**Sweet A.K**

Aye-Aye Captain. _TANK-U_

**Orcagirl**

Thanks, here ya go. Trust me I do feel loved. _TANK-U_

**orli*****N*keira******

Yeah I kinda base that on the real life stuff I share with my best bud. We're like the only non-serious people in our year. People need to lighten up!! _TANK-U_

**~*Previously on ASBAON*~ Sam and Elizabeth out run the pirates and hide in a cupboard (much to Sam's disapproval), Will does nothing, Jack learns about Sam, Elizabeth confesses her love for Will to Sam, Sam tries to get Elizabeth to tell Will right there but decides to wait., Sam cracks a fart joke **~*Final Line*~** _Pintel looks through the door crack "'Ello, Poppets." And the doors opened._**

**A Story By Any Other Name**

"Parley!" Elizabeth Said confidently.

"Saying parsley ain't gonna help us, I don't think they're hungry" Hissed Sam.

Staring at Elizabeth and ignoring Sam; Ragetti Asked. "What?"

"Parley. I invoke the right of parley. According to the code of the brethren, set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, you have to take us to your Captain." Elizabeth said proudly standing up. 

"I know the code." Shot Pintel 

"If an adversary demands parley you can do them no harm until the parley is complete." Elizabeth said pulling Sam to her feet.

"To blazes with the code." SaidRagetti

"They want to be taken to the Captain. Then they'll go without a fuss. We must honour the code." sneakily Pintel said**.**

"But I don't wanna go, he smell worse than Will" Sam resisted against Ragetti, then finally slapping him causing his eye to come out.

"Oh no look what you've done" he said crawling after it.

"You have a fake eye?!? COOOLLL can I see it… _PLEASE_" asked Sam really nicely.

"No, you can't c'mon" he said grabbing her arm.

"Ok fine, just let me see that eye" she said reaching for his eye and grabbing the wrong one.

"OWWWWWWWWW. Wrong Bloody eye" he said pushing her away and grabbing his face.

"Opps" Sam smiled

"Right that's it" he said as he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder.

"Weeeeee….. Ewwwww pea-u you smell like a dead cat" she said holding her nose.

"You know what a dead cat smells like?" He asked her. 

"Yeah you" laughed Sam.

"One more word and I'll…I'll tie you to the mast naked" Ragetti smiled as he said this.

"WOOHOOO all over tan." Sam Cheered.   

**********************************************************************

In the street, Will is fighting with a really, really ugly pirate. _~*a voice can be heard saying "pirates have feelings too" oh shut up*~_

"Say goodbye" Growled the pirate as the sign fell.

"Goodbye" laughed Will, and he turns just in time to see Elizabeth and Sam being lead/carried back to the Black Pearl.

"WILL" Elizabeth screamed.

"Elizabeth" he cried and went to make after them

"Fine, Don't worry about your sister, will you. Huh! Just let her be taken off and to die. As long as you get you nookie partner you just fine and dandy then, well poo to you. I'm gonna tell em all your secrets, Nappy-man!" Screamed Sam "Oh watch out!!!" but it was too late, Will was whacked over the head by the pirate he'd killed earlier. ****

"Idiot" Sam sighed as she and Elizabeth were taken back to the Black Pearl.

*********************************************************************

In the jail cell, were Jack was 'staying', the prisoners were watching the great Black Pearl, create havoc on the harbour. All of a sudden there was a large bang, the prisoners all jumped out of the way as the cell wall came tumbling down. 

_"My sympathies friend, you've no manner of luck at all." Pete said as he walked out of the cell. Jack then looks sadly out of the hole that is so small that his head doesn't even fit. Finally he picks up the bone and tries his luck with the doggy._

"Come on, doggy. It's just you and me now. It's you and ol' Jack, come on. Come on, good boy. That's it, good boy, come on! Bit closer, bit closer. That's it, that's it, doggy. Come on you filthy, slimy, mangy cad." Jack saw the dog turn and run off as a crash was heard out side.  

"No, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean it. I didn't..." he stops as he sees the guard come flying down the stairs.

"This ain't the armoury." Said an ugly pirate to an uglier one.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here Twigg – Captain Jack Sparrow." the uglier pirate known as Koehler, Said.

"Last time I saw you, you were all alone on a godforsaken island, shrinking into the distance. His fortunes aren't improved much." Smiled Twigg (the ugly pirate)

"Worry about your own fortunes, gentlemen. The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers." Koehler grabbed Jack's throat, and reveals the skeleton arm in the moonlight. "So there is a curse. That's interesting."

"You know nothing of Hell." Hisses Koehler ~*insert tear*~ and with that they left Jack alone.

"That's very interesting." Jack said as he lent back to ponder on what he just saw.

****************************************************************************

Meanwhile the girls are taken across the harbour to the ship where they board and come face to face with even more ugly pirates.

"I didn't know we were takin' on captives." Bo'sun Grunted.

"She's invoked the right of parley with Captain Barbossa." Said Pintel to the beady guy.

"We are here to negotiate …" suddenly Elizabeth is backhanded by Bo'sun.

"I know you didn't just hit her!" said Sam as she was backhanded too.

"You will speak when spoken to." He growled

Before Barbossa could stick up for them, Sam leapt at him, knocked him down and proceeded to break his nose.

"NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE HITS ME OR MY FRIENDS, UNDERSTOOD" She hollered into his bleeding face. She was then pulled off by two burly pirates. Bo'sun, who was covered in blood, got up, really pissed, and went to thump her but Barbossa stepped in.

"Yell not lay a hand on those under the protection of parley. Especially on those who could beat you to a pulp, go and clean up"

"Aye, sir." He said giving Sam an evil look he turned to go and clean his face.

"My apologies Miss…?" asked Barbossa.

"Captain Barbossa, We are here to negotiate the cessation of hostilities against Port Royal." Elizabeth said a-matter-of-factually.

"Yeah" Sam put in.

"There are a lot of long words in there, Miss; we're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?" asked Barbossa.

"I want you to leave and never come back." Said Elizabeth, dumbing it down for them.

"I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request……means no." he said walking away.

"Very well. I'll drop it." She said dangling the medallion over the sea.

"Yooooouuuu dickhead" sighed Sam.

"Me holds are burstin' with swag and that bit of shine matters to us? Why?" Said Barbossa turning around.

"It's what you've been searching for. I recognized the ship. I saw it eight years ago on the crossing from England." She said loosing her confidence ever so slightly.

"They don't want you life story. It's boring! Mines exciting……I think" rambled Sam to no one in particular. 

"Did ya now?" said Barbossa even more intrigued.

"Fine, well, I suppose if it is worthless then there's no point in me keeping it." She sneakily holds onto the chain and pretends to drop the medallion. And all the pirates watching lunge forward.

"Hey that's my trick. You're starting to become a kleptomaniac you know that" Sam said accusingly. 

**"Ah. You have a name, Missy?" laughed Barbossa.**

"Elizabeth …Turner. I'm a maid in the Governor's household. And this is my sister Samantha" she said curtsying. Sam stood there glaring.

"You called me by my full name. No one calls me that. Fine lines Liz, treading on fine lines. First you get me captured, and then you steal my trick and now you call me by my full name. Next you'll cut my hair……. DON'T get any ideas" grumbled Sam at Elizabeth. 

"Turners …?" mumbles Barbossa

"Bootstrap." The pirates whispered.

"And how does a maid come to own a trinket such as that. Family heirloom, Perhaps?" Barbossa asked getting closer to them.

"I didn't steal it if that's what you mean." Said Elizabeth; staring hard at Sam who had opened her mouth, but quickly shut it.

"Very well, you hand it over and we'll put your town to our rudder and never return." Barbossa Agreed.

"Our bargain?" she said handing the medallion over to him.

"Still the guns and stow 'em, Signal the men, set the flags and make good to clear port." Shouted a bandaged Bo'sun.

"Wait! You have to take us to shore. According to the code of the order of the brethren…" Elizabeth started.

"First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the pirate's code to apply and you're not. And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, M'lady Turners" he said leaving a shocked Elizabeth and a pissed off Sam standing on the deck.

"Great look what you've done now. You're meant to get him to let us off here. Grrrr I NEED A DRINK" Sam shouted towards the heavens. Meanwhile Elizabeth is staring sadly at the town which is slowly disappearing into the horizon.

"Help us Will. Please help us soon" she whispered to the moonlight breeze. 

~* don't ya just wanna hug. Oh well. Please review if you want. I like nice reviews, they make me happy and when I'm happy more updates happen and when that does happens you're happy. See it all works out in the end. And when you're happy my pink and blue pony is happy. He likes rainbows………How much suger is in mangos I wonder????¿¿¿¿???? Hehehe….hahaha…..HOHOHOHO………Opps, I scared the little children………………………YAY, you know they're evil. Just look at all the horror movies for examples.*~


	6. Its just a metter of leverage?

Disclaimer- * turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!*falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. *The hand pops out of nowhere and slaps her* Thankyou hand *in singsong voice* Now let's get started. *hand comes out and slaps her again * Now what was that for?? I'm gonna get Bobby if you're not careful…you know he doesn't like you….*the hand gets a pen and writes "who is Bobby?"...

**_TO MY KIND REVIEWRS and crappy reviewer_**

**OrcaGirl**

Here's an update, I'm so glad you like the fic. _TANK-U_

**Sweet A.K**

I try to make her as real as possible by basing her on things that happen around me J . Her and Will are also like my best-bud and her brother. _TANK-U****_

**Tangle**

 You know its people like you that make me sick. If you don't like the story then don't read it. No one is forcing you to read and review. The truth is I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! I'm gonna write this story so suck on it. Why don't you lock _yourself _in a tiny room with no windows and read "how to get a life", with two hundred rats for at least twenty weeks and maybe then (possibly not), will you get a life. _Yeah right._

**Now that that's over **I want to apologize about my last chapter, I wrote that while in a quite violent/bad mood. That occasionally happens when you have siblings. Sam really is a nice person but she can get rubbed up the wrong way, especially when people hurt her friends.

**~*Previously on ASBAON*~** Elizabeth and Sam are taken to the black pearl. Sam doesn't like events that follows and gets quite violent, with a rather large pirate. Elizabeth reveals that she is a kleptomaniac, although she doesn't realise it, **~*the final line*~ _"Help us Will. Please help us soon" she whispered to the moonlight breeze._ **

**A Story by any other name**

"They've taken them. They've taken Elizabeth and my sister.

"So the pirates weren't all that bad oh well, Mr. Murtogg, remove this man." Norrington Said.

"We have to hunt them down, we must save them!" growled Will

"And where do you propose we start? If you have any information concerning my daughter, please, share it." The governor wined, his only concern was his daughter, it wasn't like he didn't care about Sam, it's just it was_ his_ daughter. 

"That Jack Sparrow. He talked about the Black Pearl." Murtogg informed the small crowd. 

"Mentioned it, is more what he did." Mullroy corrected.

"Ask him where it is. Make a deal with him he could lead us to it." Will said a brief hope glimmered in his eyes.

"No…" Norrington sighed "the pirates who invaded this Fort left Sparrow locked in his cell ergo they are not his allies. Governor, we will establish their most likely course…"

"That's not good enough!" shouted Will, showing his unruly temper he buried a hatchet into the table.

"Mr. Turner, you are not a military man, you are not a sailor. You are a blacksmith and this is not the moment for rash actions. Do not make the mistake of thinking you are the only man here who cares for Elizabeth… or Samantha." Said Norrington handing back the hatchet. Will watched him for a moment then stormed off.

Meanwhile in the jail, Jack managed to carve the bone into a sharp point which he was trying to now use as a pick. He struggled against the lock, waiting to hear the 'click' of it opening, murmuring only 'please' and 'stupid lock'. All of a sudden he heard footsteps marching down the stairs.

Quickly he dropped the bone and lay down, as though he was asleep or most likely passed out.

"You, Sparrow!" an angered voice yelled at him, he sat up and saw that it was that Blacksmith that had the sister. The eunuch, What-was-his-name.

"Aye." He answered eyeing him carefully.

"You are familiar with that ship, the Black Pearl?" Will asked.

"I've heard of it." Now Jack was getting suspicious.

"Where does it make berth?"

"Where does it make berth? Have you not heard the stories? Captain Barbossa and his crew of miscreants sailed from the dreaded Isla de Muerta. It's an island that cannot be found except by those who already know where it is." What was this kid up to, Jack wondered.

"The ship's real enough. Therefore its anchorage must be a real place. Where is it?" Will asked once again.

"Why ask me?" Now Jack was out to piss him off and Will knew it.

"Because you're a pirate." Growled Will.

"And you want to turn pirate yourself, is that it?" _'Hehehe he's getting pissed' _thought Jack.

"Never! They took Miss Swann and my Sister." Said a shocked and angry Will.

"Oh, so it is that you've found a girl. I see. Well, if you're intending to brave all, hasten to their rescue and so win fair lady's heart you'll have to do it alone, mate. I see no profit in it for me except maybe……..." Jack started to mumble something incomprehension able. 

"What?!?" asked a confused Will

"Nothing, nothing don' worry 'bout it" slurred Jack, he was seriously wanting a drink right about know.

"Well, I can get you out of here." Will said looking at the cell-door.

"How's that? The key's run off."  Jack said as he pointed down the stairs. 

"I helped build these cells. These are half pin-barrel hinges." Will said to a confused looking Jack. He picked up a nearby bench and placed it at the bottom of the cell door. "With the right leverage and a proper application of strength, the door will lift free."

"Hmmm, what's your name?" asked Jack.

"Will Turner." 

"That will be short for William, I imagine. Good, strong name. No doubt, named for your father, aye?"

"Yes." Now it was Will's turn to get suspicious.

"Aha. Well, Mr. Turner, I've changed me mind. If you spring me from this cell, I swear on pain of death, I shall take you to the Black Pearl and your bonny lass and sister. Do we have an accord?" Jack asked sliding his hand through the cell door.

"Agreed" said Will as they shook hands.

"Agreed, get me out." 

"Hurry, someone will have heard that." Will said backing away towards the stairs.

"Not without my effects." Jack said grabbing his hat, sword, gun and compass.

***********************************************************

Meanwhile on the Black pearl. Sam was wondering around on the deck and making her presence known. She was driving a lot of the crew mad with her incessant questions about how the ship worked and etc. She's always watch the crew work; to her it was a magical, they knew exactly what to and when. How they would pull one small insignificant rope and then the whole mast would move and when they would climb up the mast to the top of the sails and into the crows-nest with such confidence, not once looking down. She'd even made acquaintances with some of the nicer pirates, which was rare as most of them were really nasty about the whole curse thing. Elizabeth on the other hand was sitting in her cabin, crying mostly, trying to get as far away from the pirates as possible. At the moment Sam was talking to Barbossa about his monkey.

"Soooo, where did ya get him?" she asked Barbossa.

"Well we found 'im on an island, we had taken shelter in its bay from a large storm and some of the crew and myself went ashore to look for some fresh food, when we found him sitting on a whole bushel of apples. I took a likin' to 'im and 'e took a likin' to me, so we brought 'im and the bushel along with us" 

"Ooohhhh K, so what's his name?"

"His name is Jack"

"Jack, huh? That wouldn't be named after the pirate Jack sparrow would he?"

"Jack sparrow? ...hmmmm can't say I know him" Barbossa looked blankly at Sam

"Really?!? You don't know the legendary Jack Sparrow, jeeze I remember writing an essay about him in my senior year. He was really amazing you know…" Sam started to blabber on when Barbossa interrupted her.

"Why aren't you with your sister?"

"My sister? …. Oh she's a having a cry 'bout leaving my bro…ken fish tank"

"Fish tank?"

"Yes, you see, we were going to fix it because there was a large crack in it. Her cat tried to eat the fish and failed, so she thought it was her duty to fix it for me" 

"Oh I see…. Oh is that my crew calling me. I'm needed on the helm it seems." Barbossa made his get away.

"Oh well" Sam looked around for another 'innocent' bystander. And found one. She bounded up to the rather large, grubby looking pirate.

"Hi"

"Eh… oh 'ello" he grunted.

"Watchya doing?"

"Tying this rope down so the sails won't get caught"

"Ooooooohhhhhhh so do you like it on this ship?"

"I guess so, beats living in the streets"

"How long have you been here?"

"How long have you been asking questions?"

"My whole life"

"Well, it feels like I've been here my whole life"

"Oh, so do you like the sea?"

"Where's your sister why don't you go and ask her if she likes it on the sea?"

"Oh she's crying about being here"

"So, go and cheer her up then"

"Hey that's a good idea. Thanks …. Ummm"

"Scums"

"Scums? Oh ok seeya Scums" she said bounding of towards the cabin that held her 'sister'.

"Strange girl" Scums said getting back to his work.

~* Not much of Sam and Elizabeth in this one, you see I have to use my trusty imagination for those bits. Otherwise I use the POTC script from . Oh please I hope yous didn't think I've used my memory this whole time. I ain't that talented. I wish I was but I'm not.  Here's an interesting fact for you all:

**  Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.**

 So there you go. It's true too. Feel free to tell you friends and family.*~


	7. Its a nautical term

**Disclaimer-** * turns face towards the heavens* I. OWN. NOTHING!!!!*falls to the ground and cries uncontrollably, stops suddenly and smiles* oh except Sam, I think I may own her? Hhhhmmmmmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahah *coughs* excuse me that was George not me. *The hand pops out of nowhere and slaps her* Thankyou hand *in singsong voice* Now let's get started. *hand comes out and slaps her again * Now what was that for?? I'm gonna get Bobby if you're not careful…you know he doesn't like you….*the hand gets a pen and writes "who is Bobby?" hmmmm? He may be my blue pony with pink spots but I'm not too sure but writing this Disclaimer is getting annoying.

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ Jack escapes from prison with Will, Sam asks incessant questions to all on board the Black Pearl, and Elizabeth cries ~*****Final Line*~"Strange girl" Scums said getting back to his work.**

Thankyou to all my constant reviewers "YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE" I love going to my inbox and seeing all those nice reviews sitting their waiting for me. _TANK-U_

**A story by any other name**

Aboard the Black Pearl, Sam was sitting with Elizabeth in their cabin. Elizabeth was crying about… well everything and she was even sadder because she didn't get to see Will's sexy face _everyday _(yes, Will managed to "somehow" see Elizabeth everyday). She was going to confess her love to Will the day after they got captured, but seeing they were now in the middle of the ocean it didn't seem like it was going to happen very soon.

"I'm never going to see him again" wailed Elizabeth into a pillow; Sam was patting her back sympathetically.

"You now that may not be such a bad thing!" Sam said.

"You only think that because you're his sister, I on the other hand love him. I can't believe I'm never going to see him again" Elizabeth said hugging her pillow looking at Sam.

"You know they might not kill us, maybe they're just going tooooooo…….sell us as slaves and if that happens then we can escape and go back home and then you can see him again and live happily ever after, get married and have lots of children and buy me a beautiful ship so I can sail the seas ……." Sam started to blabber while a shocked Elizabeth looked on.

"Buy you a ship!! Why on earth would you want that! Wouldn't you rather a big beautiful house to raise children in?" An astonished Elizabeth asked.

"Oh Lizzie you know how much I love the sea and besides I just learnt a lot of stuff from these pirates, and the ones who aren't all bitter and twisted say they love living on the sea, and you know how much I hate kids with their grossness and snot dribbling into their mouths…eeeewwweweweweew" Sam poked her tongue out and screwed up her face making Elizabeth laugh. "Its soo nice to hear you laugh again, Lizzie. Why don't you come up on deck? Its nice, and the pirates aren't all that bad, well most of them are but some ain't that bed, besides you need some fresh air, your gonna go nuts in here"

"No I don't think I will. I'll just stay here for a while, I'll be ok"

"Well…alright. I'll be up on deck if you need me, you're my best bud I'll do anything for you; you know that"

"Yes I do Sam, Thankyou"

"It's cool, I'll seeya later, k?" and with that Sam left the cabin to go and find Scums, maybe he knew something that she didn't like where they were going and why?

*********************************************************************************************

Will and Jack were creeping along the streets making their way towards the docks. Once they got there they were watching the ships in the harbour, when Will saw Jack get a strange gleam I his eye. 

"We're going to steal a ship. That ship?" Will said glancing at the Dauntless.

"Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term. One question about your business boy, or there's no use going. How far are you willing to go to save them?"

"I'd die for them, well maybe possibly not my sister."

"That's not very nice of you, your sister seems like a nice sort" Jack said looking at Will as though he'd grown two heads.

"Weeeellllll…..ok yes I would die for her too, I suppose"

"Oh good, no worries then" said Jack turning back towards the docks.

Suddenly Jack spies a small boat. They run over to it and hide underneath it and then slowly but surely they make their way into the water and make their way towards the Dauntless. Keeping their heads trapped in an air bubble which makes Will quiet amazed that such a pirate could be so smart.

"This is either madness or brilliance." Will said staring at the back of Jack's head

"It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide." Jack said shaking his head.

They head through the water towards the Dauntless, when Will steps in a crab trap, and unknown to him there is a barrel attached to it and as he walks the barrel moves with him. Although it turns out to be a good thing as they use it to board the Dauntless.

"Everyone stay calm, we are taking over the ship." Shouted Jack to the men aboard the Dauntless as he and Will make their way towards them.

"Aye, avast!" Yelled Will to the crew who just laughs at him, Jack rolls his eyes and looks embarrassed. 

"This ship cannot be crewed by two men. You'll never make it out of the bay." A snide Gillette remarked.

Jack points his pistol at Gillette's nose and said "Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?"

There is a lot of screaming going on from all the officers that have been placed in a boat and sent back to shore. They alarm Norrington who decides to take action, even-though he can commander all these soldiers he still acts like a pansy. He said to no-one in particular

"Rash, Turner, too rash. He is without doubt the worst pirate I have ever seen."

Back aboard the Dauntless, Jack is teaching Will how to work the ropes and pullies. To anyone who was watching *Coughnorrington'sapervertcough* Will looked like a royal dickhead because all he was doing was waving ropes around and pulling things. Will suddenly noticed that the Interceptor had set sail and was coming after them. "Here they come" he said to Jack, who just gave a sly smile as he watched them come closer.

Norrington manoeuvred the Interceptor next to the Dauntless and they all swung over and searched ever part of the deck. They didn't even noticed Jack and Will swing over to the Interceptor, in fact they didn't even notice until they started to sail away.

"Sailors, back to the Interceptor! Now!" Norrington hollered.

"Thank you, Commodore, for getting us ready to make way. We'd have a hard time of it by ourselves." Jack saluted Norrington. 

Norrington go really pissed off at this so he tried to catch up to them but the wind was blowing in the other direction, so he tried to shoot them but Jack had thought ahead and disabled the rudder chain so he couldn't turn the ship to shoot at them.

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen." One of the sailors said in awe.

"So it would seem." Growled Norrington watching Jack and will sail off into the distance.

~*AN*~ I've just noticed that I manage to give you an average of 1,000 or more words in each chapter, how dedicated am I. 

Here's another fact for you all.

**Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.**

Let me just say this 

EweweweweweeweweeweweweeweeweweeweeweweweeweweweeweweweweeweeweweweweweweweweweweweweweweweewewewwYUCK


	8. The fight that didn't really happenOHHH ...

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma**

There ya go, if you and Jack and/or Will and one of you were injured, you could help them by…using…the…coconut. Yeah!!!

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ Jack and Will stole…sorry, sorry commandeered the Interceptor, Sam had a heart to heart with Elizabeth. (Yeah not much happened) **

~***Final Line*~"So it would seem." Growled Norrington watching Jack and Will sail off into the distance.**

Sorry for taking sooooooooooooo long to update. I've just finished school for this year and I've just finished having a HUGE X-mas party, it was great and I only got a little tipsy this time, go me! But now I have 6 WEEKS off to get this story into the greatness that it will become. Or something like that. 

I would like to thank all my lovely reviewers, yous have all done a great job and I love going into my mailbox and finding great review from you all and to express my gratitude I would like you to have a Giant giraffe plush-toy from Taronga Zoo with a cardboard cut-out of Jack and Will riding it.

**Orcagirl**

**Sweet A.K**

**Tabby Kitten**

**IPZY**

**Cecilia**

You guys are soooo great you make me wanna cry happy tears.

****

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

Sailing towards Tortuga, the Interceptor was going at a gentle pace, giving the two passengers a time to rest and talk.

"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father." Will said as he sharpened his sword.

"Is that so?" Jack asked he seemed to be starting to bore of this 'Bonding" thing that was happening.

"My father, Will Turner. And in jail it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father."  Will stoped playing with his sword ;) and leaned forward to study Jack.

"I knew 'im. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner, everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill" Jack said looking thoughtfully at the sky then at Will.

"Bootstrap?" Will asked standing up to look Jack in the eye.

"Good man, good pirate. I swear you look just like him."

"It's not true, he was a merchant sailor; a good, respectable man who obeyed the law" 

"He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag." Jack said turning to face Will who was looking hard at him.

"My father was not a pirate." Will said taking out his sword and pointing it at Jack.

"Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again."

"You didn't beat me; you ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd killed you."

"That's not much incentive for me to fight fair then, is it?" Jack turned the wheel and moved the sails so that the yard catches Will and swings him out over the sea. "Now as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance – you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. And me, for example, I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So…" Jack brought him back on board and offered him his sword. "Can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?"

"Tortuga?"

"Tortuga!!"

*************************************************************************

Meanwhile aboard the Black Pearl, Sam and Scums were discussing ….well no-one really knew what they were talking about.

"What about…….Snakes?" asked Sam

"No" Scums said shaking his head.

"Jack rabbits?"

"Nope"

"Hippopotamuses?" 

"No-way"

"Mice?"

"Getting colder"

"Ooooooohhhhhhh Sharks"

"Nope, do you give up?"

"No….." Sam looked around and spotted Jack.

"MONKIES" 

"What how'd you guess" Scums looked stunned

"Well, you always give Jack a wide berth, so I figured that that's what you were scared of!" Sam Said a-matter-of-a-factually. 

"Oh good spottin'. Well hows about yous?"

"You'll neva guess"

"Try-me"

"Go on then"

"Frogs?" 

"Nope not even close"

"Snakes?"

"Not really"

"Grrrr um, um"

"You'll never guess" Taunted Sam,

"Just tell me!" Scums hollered causing a few pirates to turn and stare at them.

"You're really bad at these games you know" 

"Yes, yes know TELL ME!!"

"I am afraid of………………. NOTHING" Cheered Sam

"Bull… I bet you are!"

"Ok I am a little afraid of……moths" whispered Sam

"WHAAAAT you've gotta be joking" Laughed Scums

"Hey you're scared of Jack so I wouldn't be laughing"

"Yeah but they can get diseases and stuff"

"Yeah like you could really die from that"

"I could … Oh wait no I can't, hay maybe its time for me to overcome my fear, you can help me too, and let's do it discreetly. And what about moths, what can they do, flap you with its wings?"

"Yeah well Moths can get…" but before Sam could finish speaking, a shudder was felt through the ship and just after that happened a crash was heard on the port side of the ship.

"ALL HANDS ON DECK!" yelled Barbossa. Scums jumped up and ran over to a rope and started pulling on it, Sam didn't know why but just in case it was bad she made her way towards the cabins. Now she wasn't one who usually ran from a fight, well she really wasn't, but this was between the pirates and didn't wanna get involved.

*********************************************************************************************

"What is going on outside?" Asked Elizabeth as Sam came in.

"Oh they're baking a cake and the cake batter exploded causing everyone to DIE…watchya reckon Lizzie they is another ship attacking us" she said as she plopped herself down on the bed.

"There is no need to be sarcastic, what do you think will happen? Will we be taken hostage again by these new pirates? What if Will can't find me…Us? We might be killed!" Elizabeth started to ramble.

"Lizzie, Lizzie calm down your hyperventilating." Sam got up from the bed and put her arm around her. "They won't lose the fight. They are most likely become the hostages, and Bloody Will is gonna find us. Just calm down. And would you stop saying that we're gonna DIE! We're Not"  Suddenly that noise outside stopped.

"Hmmmm I'm gonna go back out, you can come if ya want."

"I think I will be fine right here thankyou"

"O.K, Oh By the way, Barbra, AKA Barbossa, is gonna have dinner with us tonight."

"WHY"

"I dunno, but I'm up for some food. Seeya" and with that Sam bounced out of the room leaving Elizabeth to think, something she had done too much of in the last 48 hours. 

********************************************************************************

Sam wonder out on deck to find a deck full of men, dead, injured and captured, Barbossa was standing with his sword drawn talking to one of the strange men. Sam turned around just in time to see a burning ship sink into the sea. She looked around to see if she could find Scums, she couldn't. She sighed and walked over to one of the crew who she knew as Pete, he looked as though he was around her age but because of the curse he could be 100 yrs old for all she knew, he had blond sandy hair that framed his face and a deep tan form being in the sun too much. Just then she noticed that all of the Pearl's crew had their swords drawn and were facing them at the strangers. 

''Wow'' Sam wondered out loud "What I said came true" this caused a few people to turn and stare. 

"What!?! Haven't you seen a girl before?" Sam accused, they turned back around to watch Barbossa.

"They don't usually see women on Pirate ships, unless they are shackled or in a brig" Pete said.

"I hope you don't intend on shackling me or throwin' me in the brig" Sam said turning to him.

"No, you are quite right, we wouldn't do that to you, to be honest as a pirate can be," Pete lowered his voice. "Most of us are scared of you; you are very intimidatable ever since you beat up Bo'sun"

"Really, Coolies!" Smiled Sam

"But you didn't hear it from me" Pete touched his nose and they looked back at the group who was know being ordered into the brig.

"So what happened?" asked Sam

"Well, they attacked us because they wanted to be know for capturing the "Devil Ship" but it backfired and we captured them"

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH sucked in"  

"Yep"

"Do you know where Scums is?"

"Ummm he is, well um, I don't know how to say this Sam but umm…." Pete Stuttered.

"Just say it then" urged Sam

Pete Lowered his head "He's dead, killed by a cannon ball, it missed the boat and hit him, sending him over the side, I'm sorry, and I know how well you two got along." Pete looked up into Sam's stunned teary eyes. "I'm sorry" he couldn't stay there much longer she was already starting to make him feel a bit teary and pirates are not meant to cry.

Sam was crushed, when she made a friend she usually kept them for life, she hadn't lost a friend yet and the first "friend" she'd made on the ship, this was an unbearable moment. She walked over to the cabin door and laid her head against it. Her tears making her emerald dress turn a dark green in places they fell. She pushed her hair out of her face and opened the door to see Elizabeth turn and her face fall.

"Samantha what's wrong" 

And with those three words she ran into Elizabeth's arms and cried until she had no more tears.


	9. drunks, slaps, food and blonds

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.**

Try it, seriously it can't be done!

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Jack and Will had a heart-to-heart as they sailed to Tortuga, Sam and Scums try to guess what the other one is afraid of, a pirate ship attacked the Pearl, Sam found out that Scums was killed during the fight and confided in Elizabeth.

 ~***Final Line***~ And with those three words she ran into Elizabeth's arms and cried until she had no more tears.

Yes the last one was sad, but you have to have an element of sadness in a story to make it good. Don't worry though Sam will become her wonderful old self soon. Guess what I have just purchased/elf napped 3 new elves, ooohhhh guess who they are? Give up weeeellllll I'll just tell ya, its Legolas (of course), Elladen and Elrohir (because they are apparently hotties too) and with them came much, much Elvish Wine. YAY it should be interesting. Also I am currently looking of either Jack or Will, so if you see them send them my way.   

**THANKS TO ME WONDERFUL REVIEWER – zeldagrl436 **

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

On the island of Tortuga, Jack and Will walk down one of the main streets, all around them are drunken pirates, pickpockets and whores. The place smells and Will looks as though he is about to throw up yet Jack just breaths the air in deep, enjoying the smell of being around people "like him".

"More importantly, it is indeed a sad life that has never breathed deep this sweet, proliferous bouquet that is Tortuga, savvy? What do you think?" Jack said turning to Will.

"It'll linger." Said Will pulling a face.

"I'll tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted." Jack Said throwing him arms about almost nocking Will out. Suddenly Jack spots a familiar "face" 

"Scarlet!" Jack approached the whore to hug her but she instead slaps him in the face and struts off "Not sure I deserved that. Giselle!" He said turning towards another painted whore.

"Who was she?!" Giselle demanded.   
  
"What?" she doesn't wait for an answer instead she just slaps him and storms off in the other direction. "I may have deserved that." Jack said turning to Will who was looking strangely at him.

They make their way towards an old stable that a man known as Gibbs was sleeping in.  They found out this information when Jack got into a fight with one of the "waiters" in the Tickled Maiden bar, Will was not sure how he managed to get that information but here they were and there he was. Jack picked up the bucket of water and chucked it at Gibbs causing the man who was sleeping with the pigs to wake in a second. 

"Curse you for breathing, you slack-jawed idiot! Mother's love! Jack! You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleeping. 'S bad luck."

"Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys, the man who was sleeping, a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking." Jack slurs at the dripping man who seemed to understand what he was saying, Will in the meantime just looked confused.

"Aye, that'll about do it." Said Gibbs struggling to stand as Will chucks another bucket over him. "Blast! I'm already awake!"

"That was for the smell." Said Will eyeing the man, Jack just laughs.

They make their way back to the Tickled Maiden where they sat at the table. Jack turned to Will.

 "Keep a sharp eye" Jack said as Will turned around to keep watch Jack started the Proposition.

"Now, what's the nature of this venture of yours?" asked Gibbs.

"I'm going after the _Black Pearl." Gibbs almost choked on his Drink as Jack said that. "I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it."_

"Jack , it's a fool's errand. Why, you know better than me the tales of the _Black Pearl."_

"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to. All I need is a crew." 

"From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, he's not a man to suffer fools, nor strike a bargain with one."

"Well, then I'd say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, eh?"

"Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"

"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, eh?" Jack said nodding at Will's turned back.

"The kid?" Gibbs said lowering his voice.

"That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His _only child, savvy?" Jack said also lowering his voice. _

"Is he, now? "Leverage," says you. "I think I feel a change in the wind," says I. I'll find us a crew. There's bound to be some sailors on this rock crazy as you." Gibbs said leaning back.

"One can only hope. Take what you can…" Jack said lifting his mug of Rum. 

"…Give nothing back." Gibbs said as they downed their drinks.

************************************************************************************

Elizabeth and Sam sat on the bed. Elizabeth was trying to comfort a teary Sam who was hugging a pillow so tightly that Elizabeth thought it would burst.

"Sam it will be ok. Trust me. I'm sure he's gone to a better place" Elizabeth said rubbing Sam's back.

"Liz, don't be stupid" Sam said looking up at her "You know very well where he had gone"

"You're right I'm sorry. Hell is definitely not a better place" apologised Elizabeth.

"Well I was going to say that he's at the bottom of the ocean, but your's is good too." Sam gave a weak smile.

"I'm glad you're smiling again. It's so much better when you smile." Elizabeth smiled back. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and then Pintel walked in holding two dresses.

"You'll both be dinin' with the captain. And he requests yous wear these" he chucked the dresses at them.

"Well, you may tell the captain that we disinclined to acquiesce to his request."

"He said you'd say that. He also said if that be the case, yous'll be dinin' with the crew…and yous'll be naked" Pintel smiled a dirty smile.

"I don't feel like being naked" murmured Sam. Both Pintel and Elizabeth turned to her. Elizabeth held back a smile.

"Fine" She growled.

"Can I make this into my own dress?" asked Sam quietly.

"Suppose so, not like I will be wearing it" and with that Pintel walked out leaving the two girls to get dressed.

"Lizzie do you have a dagger or scissors and a needle and thread with you." Asked Sam her voice dull, there was no excitement in it at all. This was not what Elizabeth was used to.

"Ummm yes, here you go." Elizabeth handed the scissors and thread to Sam who muttered "thanks" and went to work cutting up the dress.

About 20 minutes later Elizabeth and Sam enter, and Barbossa's jaw dropped.

"What did you do to the dress" Asked an astonished Barbossa. The dress was dark green and Sam had made it low cut at the front and very low cut at the back so you could see her tattoo (two silver horseshoes intertwined with a four-leaf clover wrapped around the middle[for luck]). She had also cut the front of the skirt part so that it was long at the back and short at the front.

"I wanted it to be different. Do you have a problem with that?" She asked glaring at him.

"No. Not at all. Come sit down. Eat."

They sat down and started to eat, Sam ate normally where as Elizabeth was eating daintily hardly making a mess.

"There's no need to stand on ceremony, nor call to impress anyone. You must be hungry." And with that Elizabeth started gobbling down food making more of a mess than Sam was.

Barbossa passed them a goblet of wine "Try the wine. And the apples" then offering the girls an apple, Sam took one but Elizabeth just looked at him "One of those next."

"It's poisoned." Elizabeth said dropping the leg of lamb she was holding. Sam just looked at Elizabeth, then at Barbossa and then finally at her food, she merely shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat. She was mumbling something about "paranoia" and "Elizabeth".

"There would be no sense to be killing ye's, Miss Turners."

"Then release me, you have your trinket; I'm of no further value to you."

"UMMM Excuse me but there are two of us you know. The whole world doesn't revolve around you. Or should I say you and Will"

"You don't know what this is, do ye?" Asked Barbossa, ignoring Sam.

"It's a pirate medallion." Said Elizabeth a-matter-a-factly. Sam just shook her head and continued to eat.

"This is Aztec gold… one of 882 identical pieces they delivered in a stone chest to Cortez himself. Blood money paid to stem the slaughter he wreaked upon them with his armies. But the greed of Cortez was insatiable. So the heathen gods placed upon the gold…a terrible curse. Any mortal that removes but a single piece from that stone chest shall be punished for eternity."

"I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Barbossa." Elizabeth Sneered.

"Aye. That's exactly what I thought when we were first told the tale. Buried on an Island of Dead what cannot be found except for those who know where it is. Find it, we did. There be the chest. Inside be the gold. And we took 'em all. We spent 'em and traded 'em and frittered 'em away on drink and food and pleasurable company. The more we gave 'em away, the more we came to realize…the drink would not satisfy, food turned to ash in our mouths, and all the pleasurable company in the world could not slake our lust. We are cursed men, Miss Turners. Compelled by greed, we were, but now we are consumed by it." Barbossa turned around to pat Jack when Elizabeth took a butter knife and hid it "There is one way we can end our curse. All the scattered pieces of the Aztec gold must be restored and the blood repaid. Thanks to ye's, we have the final piece."

"And the blood to be repaid?" Elizabeth Asked.

"My god you are such a blond" Muttered Sam between mouthfuls of food, Elizabeth just gave her a dirty look.

"That's why there's no sense to be killin' ye's…yet. Apple?" he offered her an apple but instead she stabs him "Arr." But instead of falling over and dying he takes it out and looks at her. "I'm curious – after killin' me what was it you plannin' on doing next?" Elizabeth runs out and sees the pirates, all decaying skeletons "Look! The moonlight shows us for what we really are. We are not among the living, and so we cannot die, but neither are we dead. For too long I've been parched with thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing – not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman's flesh." He walks out into the moonlight, Sam following with a leg of lamb in her hand._ "_You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. You're in one!" Barbossa finished his speech and drinks down a bottle of red wine and it just pours out of his ribs onto the deck, the crew laugh as Elizabeth runs around and then runs back into that cabin. "What are ye looking at? Back to work!" 

Something just clicked in Sam's head. She jogged up to Barbossa who was making his way back to the helm.

"Barbossa, I have a question" 

"And what might that be?" He asked turning around.

"If you are all cursed and yous can't die, does that mean Scums is still alive?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes most likely" he said not really caring.

"Well how come Pete said he was dead?"

"Pete is a bit daft in the head; he has a few problems remembering things. I can remember a time when he forgot that he was cursed and freaked out when he changed. That was a funny night. There was also this time when we had to rescue him from a prison and he didn't know who we were" Barbossa laughed, Sam smiled at the old sea captain. 

"So how come you didn't bring him back on board?" She asked.

"Well, we lost a few good men that night, the ones who fell over board made their way over to an island that wasn't very far away. They are staying there until we come back around. Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Yes, Thankyou so much, this may be hard to believe Captain but you've really brightened my spirits" Sam smiled at Barbossa and he smiled back as she bounded of towards the cabins to find Elizabeth and tell her the good news. Barbossa didn't really mind this girl, but he wasn't going to become an old softy just because she was…interesting, he did have to bleed them after all.

'_Maybe I could get away with just bleeding the other twit' Barbossa though as he walked up the helm._

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~*WwowW I managed around about 2000 words for you all. Do you feel special or what? You know I was thinking of doing a Lord of the Rings fic too, especially about Legolas 

*a slurred voice* _Are you talking about me…You'd betterrr not beee talking about mmmeee I have a bow wiv arrows ya know._

Yes I know you have arrows 

_*two more voices are heard__* We have swords too and small pointy ones_

Daggers

_Yeah them; so don't talk about us_

  I wasn't 

_Yesh you were_

No I wasn't …jeeze drunk elves are really paranoid; anyways this is it for another day, hey you might even get another one soon, very soon.

Oh and if anyone can figure out where Pete 'Originally' came form, you will get an interesting present. *HINT* He is from this story.

4 DAYS TILL RETURN OF THE KING YAYAYAYAYAY


	10. this is the song that never ends, it goe...

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes**

That's a scary fact; I don't think I'll be going to a farm anytime soon.

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Jack and Will found Gibbs and made a proposition, Sam 'destroyed' Barbossa's dress (hehehe), Elizabeth acted blond when she learnt about the blood ritual, Sam found out that Scums isn't dead, Barbossa admitted that he liked Sam (I really hope not in that way, but it's the way my mind works so I probably won't even know until I write it).

 ~***Final Line***~ '_Maybe I could get away with just bleeding the other twit' Barbossa though as he walked up the helm._

**Thanks to my reviewers ~ Cecilia Gray, Pirates, Jenmm31 and Dimonah Tralon – in answer to your Qs I was actually thinking of making it a Jack/OC fic but I'm not sure. What do you guys reckon? I'm glad you all like the story so far, I'm really enjoying writing it. I'm thinking of making a sequel too, I've just gotta figure out the ending to this one first! J**

I really look forward to going to my inbox and seeing those reviews sitting there and waiting for me. And is great when you guys give me suggestions, I always try to incorporate them into the story.

**WOOOOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO I'VE JUST HIT DOUBLE DIGITS CHAPTER 10**

****

****

**A Story by any other name**

Standing on a dock in Tortuga, a line of 20 or so men standing at attention as 3 men assess them.****

"Feast your eyes, Captain. All of them, faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt. And crazy to boot." Smiled Gibbs

"So this is your able-bodied crew?" Said Will, not looking as positive towards the crewman lined up on the dock. Jack just looks at him and walks up to a sailor.

"You, sailor!" he said in the man's face.

"Cotton, sir." Gibbs Answered.

"Mr. Cotton … do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death? Mr. Cotton! Answer, man!" Jack said quite fast, confusing the man in front of him.

"He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how." Gibbs again answered.

"Mr. Cotton's... parrot. Same question." Jack said now addressing the parrot atop of Mr Cotton's shoulder.

"Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" the Parrot Squawked.

"Mostly, we figure, that means "yes.'" Gibbs Explained.

"O'course it does." Jack said as he turned to Will "Satisfied?"

"Well, you've proved they're mad." Will said still looking doubtfully at the sailors.

"And what's the benefit for us?" a less rough voice said. Jack walked curiously over to the voice and slowly takes off the sailor's hat revealing a woman with a slightly hard face. 

"Anamaria" He said fondly just before he has another brief meeting with a hand as it is slapped across his face.

"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either." Smiled Will

"No, that one I deserved." Jack Admitted turning back to Anamaria.

"You stole my boat!" she accused him.

"Actually…" But before he could continue Anamaria slapped him again._ "Borrowed, borrowed without permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you."_

"But you didn't!" she yelled in his face making him cower internally.

Jack thought for a moment then said "You'll get another one."

"I will." She looked sceptically at him.

"A better one" Smiled Will, he decided it would be far quicker to help him out than to watch him burn.

 "A better one" Agreed Jack

"That one" Said Will, pointing to the Interceptor _'why should I make it easy for him' _he thought.

"What one? That one?! Aye, that one. What say you?" a slightly shaking Jack Asked.

"Aye!" she cheered causing the rest of the sailors to agree.

"No, no, no, no, no, its frightful bad luck to bring a woman aboard, sir." Gibbs blabbered catching up To Jack who was walking towards the ship.

"It'd be far worse not to have her" Jack said looking at him sideways.

*************************************************************************************

On the open sea, the Interceptor is being thrown about by Gail force winds and huge waves. The men on deck are being pounder by bucketing rain.  

"How can we sail to an island that nobody can find with a compass that doesn't work?" shouted Will to Gibbs through the rain.

"Aye, the compass doesn't point north but we're not trying to find north, are we?" He smiled at Will then turned to Jack who was standing at the helm. "We should drop canvas, sir."

"She can hold a bit longer." Disagreed Jack with a smile

"What's in your head that's put you in such a fine mood, Captain?" Gibbs asked the crazy sea-captain.

"We're catching up."

**************************************************************************************

Aboard the Pearl, Sam is learning to climb the mast.

"Now put you feet into those ropes, yes those ones and pull yourself up with you hands, good now try and pull yourself up onto that beam. Yes good work!" the Pirate known as James Shouted.

"WOOOOWWWWWHOOOOOOO I'm QUEEN OF THE WORLD" she shouted causing some pirates below to chuckle. "Wow you can really see everything from up here can't you? Hey I can see some land"

"That's the island where we're headed, I think" Pete, who was sitting in the crows nest, said.

"Now HOW DO I GET DOWN" she shouted to James.

"See that rope next to you, yep that one, grab that and when I say so, jump"

"JUMP!?!"

"Yes, ready set GO" James and another crew member held onto another rope as Sam jumped of the beam. She swung out over the sea them landed with a thump on the deck.

"WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…….that was sooooooooooooo fun, lets do it again" asked Sam as she jumped up and turned to face James.

"Maybe later" he laughed.

"Hey can I ask you something?" Sam looked thoughtfully at him.

"Sure, what is it?"

"When is your Birthday?"

"July Fifteenth"

"What year?"

"Every year"

"No ooohhhh never mind" Said Sam as she walked over to Barbossa who was at the helm.

"Can I drive the ship?" Sam Asked looking really innocent.

"I don't know" Barbossa looked very sceptical.

"Ooohhhh come on, I can sail it"

"Oh alright" he said stepping back.

"Ooohhhh yay" she said grabbing the wheel, she turned it slightly and didn't feel anything so she turned it very sharply the other way causing the ship to rock.

"Ooooooopppppppppssssssss" She said as Barbossa stepped up behind her and grabbed the wheel, still standing behind her.

"Like this" he said and showed her how, but he didn't move after he showed her.

Sam pushed him back a bit. "Hey, Hey, hey, ever heard of Personal space. If you want the wheel back just say so" she said stepping away from him.

"I have another question"

"Oh and what is that?" A slightly stunned Barbossa asked.

"Can I sing?"

"I dunno can you?" 

"Yes but I wanna know will you kill me if I sing?" joked Sam

"Only if I hate the song"

"So I can sing!" Sam said cheerily.

"I Suppose"

"Yay, I call it the never ending tune"

"Interesting title"

"Thanks here I go

_This is a song that never ends_

_It just goes on and on my friends,_

_Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was,_

_And we'll continue singing it forever just because;_

_This is a song that never ends_

_It just goes on and on my friends,_

_Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was,_

_And we'll continue singing it forever just because;_

_This is a song that never ends_

_It just goes on and on my friends,_

_Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was,_

_And we'll continue singing it forever just because;_

_This is a song that never ends_

_It just goes on and on my friends,_

_Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was,_

_And we'll continue singing it forever just because;_

_This is a song that never ends_

_It just goes on and on my friends,_

_Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was,_

_And we'll continue singing it forever just because;_

_This is the………"_

"OH GOD; MAKE IT STOP… MAKE… IT… STOP" Screamed some of the crew holding their heads and some were even on the deck rocking back and forth.

"Go below deck and bloody entertain the prisoners with that evil song of yours!" yelled the captain

_"…started singing it not knowing ….OK" and with that she bounded off down the stairs to annoy the prisoners, leaving the crew and Captain in beloved piece._

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You will never guess what I found the other day lurking in my backyard. It was Captain Jack Sparrow and with a little persuasion and rum I managed to get him to come inside and stay. He is at the moment sitting with Legolas and ….

*A Drunk voice is again heard_* are you talking about meeeee. Do I have to remmmmiiiinnnndd yooooouuuusss dat I have arrows._

_ Yes Legolas I know you have arrows_

_OH No where's the rum …you; elf, you drank all me rum, didn'tchya, come ere * sounds of a fight going on in background*_

Sorry peoples I have to get Jack some more rum and bandage Legolas. YAY

BYE ALLS


	11. The Rainbow fight

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television**

I think I'll go back to bed now, *smiles*

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Jack and Will finally get their crew and set sail, Sam learns the 'ropes', Sam starts to sing and makes people cower. 

 ~***Final Line***~ _"…started singing it not knowing _….OK" and with that she bounded off down the stairs to annoy the prisoners, leaving the crew and Captain in beloved piece.

**TO MY WODERFUL REVIEWERS –**

**- Ipzy – I don't care what you write as long as you like the story,**

 **- Piratesrock – **I'm glad I made you do the happy dance,

 **- Zeldagrl436 – **its cool I make heaps of spelling errors, thank god for spell check, 

**- Serilia – yeah like I said before I can't spell for shit but as long as you know what I'm talking about (I even have trouble with that) and you like the story; doesn't matter. *smiles***

- **Dimonah Tralon – yeah I wouldn't mind it if it turned out as a Jack/OC Fic cause then the sequel could be about their adventures or something.**

- **Tabby Kitten – yes unfortunately that yucky old sea-captain was hitting on her but he hits on anyone (he did it to Elizabeth too I think) doesn't he.**

- **Sweet A.K – I thought I'd make some of the pirates nice cause they can't all be evil can they! Yeah these elves do get paranoid, though it wasn't Legolas that I had to patch up it was Jack, I had to pull an arrow out of his butt! It was an interesting night. **

_Are you talking about us again? No now go back drink your wine. _Whatchya writing?_Nothing Elladen, what's that you're drinking? Is that Jack's rum? __No yes it is go give it back_ what he has me rum? Come ere _oh no Jack's chasing Elladen, here we go again.  _

This chapts gonna all be on the Pearl cause if I write about Jack and Will anymore there wont be any more room for "Fun on the Pearl With Sam" so don't be upset that there's no Jack or Will in this chapt its all bout Sam and Elizabeth. 

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE FROM AUS, LEGOLAS, ELLADEN, ELROHIR AND JACK**

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

****

Sam bounded down the steps into the brig, she past 3 piles of treasure (which she promised to look through later) then she came upon the 4 cages that held the prisoners.

"HEEEELLLLOOOOOO" Sam yelled as she entered "Sam, is in the ……BRIG…Ahhhh but not in a cage like you peoples"

"Who are you? And what are you doing here?" asked a reasonably young man who was not lacking in looks, he had brown sandy hair that was held back in a scruffy pony tail. "Ummm excuse me you haven't answered my question" the man waved his hand in front of her face. Sam meanwhile was too busy staring at his tanned abs through his open shirt. 

"Oh what, uhh yes" Sam answered uncertainly.

"I asked who you were" he said smiling.

"I am Sailor moon!!!" Sam cackled

"WHAT" the young man asked.

"Sorry, I'm on a bit of a high, do you know your rippling muscles are showing?" He blushed and covered them up. "Don't cover them actually maybe that would be best, I get kinda distracted. What's your name?" asked Sam sweetly.

"I asked you first" he said slightly flustered.

"Oh um Sam" she said extending a hand.

"Louis" he said catching her hand and kissing it gently.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh" she said "You're getting me excited"

"Wonderful, are you a pirate?" Louis asked still holding her hand.

"No actually we're captured too" 

"We?"

"Uhh yes my sister, Elizabeth, is upstairs in the cabin"

"If you're a hostage too, how come you're not in a cage like us?"

"We didn't attack them" Sam smiled "But I have come to sing you a song. Do you have any requests?"

"Do you know _Jezebel's rhapsody?" _

"Noooooooooo but I know the _rainbow song_. Wanna hear it? Well you've got no choice;

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

_Red and yellow and pink and green,_

_Purple and orange and blue;_

_I can see a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow;_

_See a rainbow toooo._

_Ooooooohhhhhhh;_

"Please……stop……can't ……take…….much…….more" one of the sailors collapsed

"Hehehe Opps, sorry; that seems to happen a lot." Sam said scratching her head looking innocently.

"How about we just talk, Huh?" Begged Louis

"Ok" Sam Said sitting cross-legged on the floor. "I'll start, are you married, engaged, girlfriend or gay?"

"What" an astonished Louis asked

 "Well I've gotta do my homework, well what's ya answer?" Sam lend forward expectantly.

"In answer to all of them ….no" Louis smiled "And You?"

"No, but I have my eyes open for some good lookin pirates, such as yourself" Sam smiled sweetly at him.

"Mate, Your In" another pirate said from the back of the cage. Sam just smiled wider as Louis Blushed. Suddenly there was thumping coming down the stairs.

"Quick you'd better go" Said Louis quickly, Sam just looked blankly at him.

"Why" she asked.

"Won't you get in trouble for being down here?" Louis looked quizzically at her.

"Oh no, I can do practically what I want" Sam smiled a broad confident smile. 

"OI, You Girl" the owner of those giant footfalls landed at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, Well, Well if it isn't Bo'sun" Sam looked smugly at him while the prisoners seemed to cower; Sam stood up and looked him in the eye.

"I heard ye were down ere and decided its time to finish something off" As Bo'sun walked closer, Sam stood taller "No interruptions and no way out" he smiled

"It's not worth you getting beaten again; I see that cut I gave you still hasn't healed, Bugger ay?" Sam laughed as Bo'sun charged.

He threw a punch at Sam's head but she was quicker and ducked and landed a punch square in his gut, it winded him a little but soon he charged again and tried to catch Sam in a head lock but she managed to duck again and kick him in between the legs, he doubled over in pain.

"Had enough?" Sam asked with a smug smile, Bo'sun growled and grabbed his sword and pointed it at her.

"No but you have" and with that he charged, blinded by anger. Sam moved to the left and stuck a leg out causing the giant pirate to land flat on his face. This gave her enough time to think about the next move.  

"My sword, it's on the table over there" Louis said pointing to the table near the stairs where all the prisoner's effects were.

"Thanks" she said and grabbed it and turned just in time to block the sword coming down at her head. The sword fight continued. Bo'sun was attacking Sam while she defended every blow; Sam managed to push him back causing him to get off balance. This time Sam struck with force causing Bo'sun to try and block every blow, which was hard because she was much faster than him, she was able to handle her sword a lot easier than he thought; Sam faked going high and instead sliced his arm and watched him go back holding his arm.

"HAHAHAHA do ye really think that this little scratch will hurt me, the curse protects us"  He said as he charged this time he faked going low and when high, but Sam saw this coming, she called on all her experience and training with Will to help her keep her life and her head. Sam threw her arm up and blocked the blow by bouncing the side of the sword off her arm. A small trickle of blood flowed down her arm. Suddenly there were yelling voices at the top of the stairs this cause Sam to become slightly off guard. That's all Bo'sun needed he struck and he aimed at her heart.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Slightly shorter today, isn't it. Is that a cliff hanger? I hope so, don't worry though, I'm not going to disappear for a few weeks and just leave it at that, no I will probably write it now and put it up later. It's kinda hard to write with 3 elves and a pirate looking over my shoulder.

_Look she's talking about us_

No I'm talking about the other 4 wankers behind you.

_Where?_

_Jack, seriously, are you that dumb?_

My God Elladen are you…...sober

_It would seem so; yes_

_*in the background* Where are the wankers?_

Why? I thought you had enough wine to last you 5 months?

_Yes, well Legolas and Elrohir have downed it all_

Really? what about Jack's Rum?

_Wheres me rum, Do you have me rum, girl? Or is it that elf again? Come ere you *chases Legolas*_

Bugger Jack's in another fight with Legolas

_Didya call meeeee_

Talking about you not to you. Sir Paranoia. Better go and break up that fight. **Ciao *walks over to Jack and Legolas*  
Jack do I have to remind you about those arrows, no, stop it, Legolas put him down….**

_*Elladen sits down at the computer* Hehehe I have her story, hello people I am Elladen son of Elrond and I am your leader, bow down to me puny humans, and do you have any wine? I have drank all of the pirates rum, foul stuff and have ran out …*pushes Elladen off the computer*…no, no, no, get away from there, No Legolas don't shoot him, Jack stop. OOHHHHHH HELP. Right all of you back to your cages and no more wine for a week._

**_NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO_**

_Hehehe *Jack laughs in the background*_

That Includes RUM

**_NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO_**


	12. bye bye hottie and hello big scary cave

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.**

Yay well that was really interesting wasn't it, I wonder what an acorn tastes like?

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Sam meets the Prisonersand sings them a rainbow song, Bo'sun found her and challenged her, possibly a cliff-hanger.

 ~***Final Line***~ _that's all Bo'sun needed he struck and he aimed at her heart._

**My wonderful reviewers and ugly-attitude one **

- **Baby Bunnie - I hope you had a great holiday too! ******

- **Ashleigh Jones - yeah I like writing the author's notes, its fun to torture my elves and Jack ……_HEY… what… _you're torturing us? _Hmmmm define torture   _******

- ** Zeldagrl436 – oh the elves will live, but I'm not to sure about Jack, actually the elves are fine…kinda. Trust me you'll find out is she lives in this chapt****.**

- ** Dimonah Tralon – sorry about the cliff hanger, I just wanted to try it out and see if I could do it, but I think I can handle the elves now, you see I have 3 little sisters and they are acting just like them, so if I treat them like little girls …… _we are NOT girls … well you are acting like my LITTLE SISTERS. _******

- **Cecilia Gray – Feel free to use far worse word, I do (see review below), thanks for putting me on there, ooohhhh I feel special!!!******

**I apologise now to my great reviewers for any language they may not like to see in this next response.**

- **Sporkgoddess – eeeesssccccuuuussseeee mmmmmmmmmeeeeeee!!!!!!! At what point in time is this story a Mary-sue, my character isn't Mary-sue and unless your definition is of a Mary-sue is _a slightly-crippled, rude, bad attitude, tone deaf, stupid 20 something year old, with an old dead sea-captain hitting on her_ you've reeeeaaalllyyyy got some problems haven't you. And really who cares if it isn't _exactly 1700s stuff, its not like I sit here with a book on that sort of crap, and as if I'm pawning this off as my own work, I'm giving credit to the fucking writers of the bloody movie, just because I changed the script a little (lot) doesn't mean I've altered it so that I can say its mine, read the FUCKING **DISCLAIMER**, and _****NO I didn't want it to be another gone "back in time story" because then it would be the same as a lot of stories out there, I know there are a lot like this out there too but there are way more of them. Why don't you try reading past Chapter 2, you wanker. I've had more good reviews about people loving this story than I have had by people like you. ****So take you_ "HONESTY" and shove it._   **

_That wasn't very nice._

Well Legolas read her (if it is a her that is) review *shows him the review*

_OHHHHHH well that person is most likely Sauron, would you like us to go and find this person and dispose of them?_

No that is alright what goes around comes around, but thankyou, glad to know you would do that for me, you can go back to what you were doing while I write.

_As you wish *walks over to others, and continues eating unknown substance*_

What are they eating?

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

"What's going on down there?" yelled a few pirates.

Sam turned her head to the stairs, Bo'sun saw this as an opportunity to strike, and that he did, he aimed at her heart. 

"WATCHOUT" yelled Louis from the cage, the sudden outburst surprised Bo'sun and brought Sam back to reality, she regained her focus just in time to duck, but the duck wasn't quick enough, Bo'sun drove his sword straight through Sam's shoulder. Sam dropped to the floor just in time to see the pirates coming down the stairs.

"What happened ere?" one pirate asked, those were the last words Sam heard before she blacked out.

************************************************************************************

Sam awoke in a cold sweat, it took a second but Sam got her bearings and realised that she was in the cabin with Elizabeth looking worriedly out the window.

"Lizzie?" Sam asked trying to sit up but the searing pain in her shoulder caused her to fall back upon the numerous pillows behind her.

"Sammy, don't sit up, you'll just hurt yourself more." Elizabeth said running over to the side of the bed.

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"You should be the one to tell me all I know was that, James said he found you and Bo'sun with the prisoners and you were unconscious with a sword wound in the shoulder."

"And with all that information you couldn't figure out what happened yourself?" Sam smiled as Elizabeth gave a sleepy look.

"Yes well, you see my best friend is lying severely wounded in a bed, just waking up from unconsciousness excuse me if I can't use my brain under these circumstances." Elizabeth Scolded.

"Oh really, and what is your excuse all the other times?" laughed Sam.

"Oh HA, HA very funny, gee I am glad you are back to your old sarcastic self" They continued to exchange insults until a knock on the door caused them to stop immediately.

"Who is it?" Elizabeth Asked.

"Tis James" he said walking in. "Oh you're awake. How is your shoulder?"

"It's been better!" smiled Sam; she then noticed that he was carrying something in his arms.

"What's that?" Sam asked pointing to the package in his arms.

"This is somethin' for you shoulder and somethin' from that prisoner Lukas or somethin'" he said placing it on the desk.

"Louis?" Sam answered helpfully.

"Yeah that's it" he pulled out a greeny looking substance, brought it over to Elizabeth.

"Here put this on her shoulder every half hour, should stop the bleeding" he said walking back to the door.

"What's the other ……? OW" yelled Sam as Elizabeth as she put some of the green goo on her arm.

"Sorry, Sorry" apologised Elizabeth

"Yeah anyway what's the other thing?" she asked.

"Oh I dunno, here you go." He said handing it to Sam, it was wrapped in a cloth, and she decided to open it later as she laid it beside her.

"I'll thank his hotness later. Umm can I ask …what happened to Bo'sun?" She asked uncertainly.

"Yeah the captain sentenced him to cleaning the decks, he's kinda pissed 'bout that but he's boasting about how he gotchya back" 

"Grrrr well if it I didn't get distracted by his ugliness and certain people on the stairs, he wouldn't have gotten such a lucky shot." She yelled as he closed the door.

"Stop fidgeting or I'll have to re-apply that stuff" Sam stopped instantly as Elizabeth continued to wrap her shoulder in the makeshift bandages, (made out of the sheet that was on the bed). 

"You know what Liz, I am really getting sick of being here now." Sam Confessed.

"So am I" agreed Elizabeth. "But Will… He will come for us soon"

"Yeah you're probably right" Smiled Sam. 

"Do you remember when we were captured?" asked Elizabeth when she had finished wrapping Sam's shoulder.

"Ya" Sam answered in a Dutch accent making Elizabeth smile.

"Well, as we passed Will in the street you called him, nappy-man. Why was that?" Elizabeth asked Sam watching the reaction on her face go from confusion to humorous.

"Do you really wanna know? You may never look at him the same way again?" 

"Well it has bugged me for a while now"

"Weelllll, he's gonna kill me for telling ya this, but what are sisters for" Sam smiled "Until he was 10, He had to wear a nappy mainly to bed because of little accidents that happened through the night." Sam started to laugh.

"OH MY" giggled Elizabeth.

"And then when he was 15 he was showing off to you, do you remember, he was challenged to a race along the beach, he was riding my stallion and then came galloping up from behind to beat Master Rodgers?"

"Oh yes, he was so brave that day."

"Brave my ass. At first he couldn't find anyone to lend him a horse so he begged me and begged me to lend my new horse to him, and then when he was about to get on he chickened out and asked me to ride so that you wouldn't think he was a chicken"

"Really, well then, I must confess I was kind of disappointed that day that he actually agreed to that challenge, I didn't think he was one of those people who got caught up in those sorts of challenges. What was it for again?"

"We had a ball coming up and the winner was going to take you"

"Oh that's right, so really it turned out alright in the end didn't it…wait… so really you were meant to take me." Elizabeth Laughed.

"Well actually, Will pissed me off that night so I told him that I would tell you what happened and take you. But he told me he would do all my chores for the next 2 weeks so I let him take you, I was very happy to oblige and take my date…….mmmmm do you remember Scott Kaon?"

"Oh yes he was very handsome" agreed Elizabeth.

"HANDSOME he was dead sexy, a very good kisser might I add" they laughed together for a while.

"What was in that other bundle?" asked Elizabeth

"I dunno" Sam picked it up from the side of the bed, and opened it to find a very beautiful dagger; it had a gold encrusted handle and 3 pearls embedded in its handle.

"WOW" they said 

"That is really beautiful" They admired the sword for a while then Sam asked "Liz take me below deck I want to thank Louis for saving me and giving me this beautiful dagger"

"Doesn't look like saving you worked much?" Elizabeth looked sceptical

"Well considering that the blade was aimed at my heart, I think he did a good job!" She said throwing the blankets off. "Now you can either help me or I'll go by myself"

"Oh alright, come along then" Elizabeth helped her out of the bed. Sam placed the dagger in her boots and continued out the door. They got to the deck and found that all of the prisoners were on deck.

"What's going on?" Sam asked Ramen, a stocky pirate who stood about 6'5 with a big black beard and shaved head.

"We're getting' rid' of da prisoners" He grunted.

"What? How? Your not gonna kill them are you?" She asked with a frightened expression

"Nuh, strand em on dat island, we are" he grunted pointing to a fairly close island.

"Uh huh" Sam started to look through the crowd to find Louis, she found him near the back of the group and she (with Elizabeth's help) walked up behind him.

"Boo" she said in his ear, as he jumped and turned around.

"Oh Sam it's so good to see you alive. And who is this? Is it your sister?" he asked acknowledging Elizabeth

"Yes this is Elizabeth, Elizabeth this is Louis, he's hot" smiled Sam as Elizabeth laughed and Louis blushed.

"It's not very common to see a pirate blush" Elizabeth said giving him his hand, he kissed it and said

"Yes but your sister has remarkable talents" He said smiling at Sam, she smiled back but then her face fell.

"I see your leaving then?" She asked.

"Leaving/getting thrown off the ship, same thing I suppose." He said looking over his shoulder as some of his crew was thrown overboard.

"Hmmm I was just coming to say thanks, you know for the dagger and for saving me" 

"It was no problem at all; I would gladly do it again."

"I wish I could do the same for you" she said nodding towards the prisoners being thrown over.

"Hmm its ok, it was bound to happen" he smiled.

"O.K well here hide this" she said handing him one or her own daggers "Use it for food and stuff and I hope maybe one day we'll see each other again" No sooner had she said that it was his "turn".

"Goodbye Sam" 

"Goodbye Louis" As he turned from her, Sam had a thought, she used he good hand to turn him around and enveloped him in a kiss.

"C'mon get on with it" Said a Pirate as he pulled Louis to the edge.

"SWIM HARD" she yelled as he was thrown off.

"Sam, I really don't know how you manage to do it" said an astonished Elizabeth as the re-entered their cabin.

"Do what?" asked Sam.

"You know what." Said Elizabeth

"Oh the kiss, weeeellllll consider it a goodbye/thankyou-for-saving-me kiss" Sam smiled at Elizabeth _"¿Cómo pueda yo lo ayudo é les un besador tan bueno?"_

"Don't you go all Spanish on me; you know very well I can't speak it!"

"I mealy said 'how can I help it when he is such a good kisser?" laughed Sam.

"Oh, really, you only kissed him once!"

"That you know of" Sam smiled and continued "Besides it took your mind off Will didn't it, or maybe now you want Will even more, hmmm?" 

They continued to bicker on and off until there was a knock at the door.

"Time to go, Poppets." Said Pintel, they walked out of their cabin and they were then loaded into some row boat, Sam notice that almost all of the pirates were there.

"I don't like the look of this" she said looking up at the huge cave they entered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~__

GRRRRRR these elves are driving me nuts, I took their wine away but somehow they found some suger, Jack is just sitting in a corner sulking, actually, he's the only one not acting up, I might give his rum back soon.

_RUM? Where's me rum? I need me rum to live!_

No you don't………ahhhh……*tackled by elves* 

_Hello fellow readers. I am Legolas Thranduilion Prince of Mirkwood, Son of Thranduil and we (Elladen, Elrohir and I) have decided that it's our turn to torture Aus, so if you have any Questions feel free to ask myself or the other elves. Not Jack he's weird._

**_I'm NOT WEIRD_**

_Yes you are now sit there and don't move I have arrows mmmwwwaaaahhhhhhhahahaha hehehehe Oh what's that noise *Phone rings* what's this hmm._

It's a snake don't touch it will bite you

_Tis no snake, Legolas, I saw her on it this morn _

_Hmmmm if what you say is true Elladen then I should be able to talk on it *Picks up the phone* Hello this is…****_

**Hello deary, this is Sherry Stoker from lollypops anonymous, and I was wondering if Aus was there?**

_Yes she is here but she is…under wraps at the moment? I will tell her you called though._

**Thankyou deary**

_Hehehe Hey Legolas I found some wine!_

_Are you sure its wine Elrohir?_

_Yes it tastes really wonderful *Legolas goes into the kitchen*_

Oh no they found my Grog closet… *turns to Jack*… Jack ooohhhh Jack

_What_

If you help me I will get you some real good rum. 

_Really _

Really *Jack staggers over to Aus and unties her* great, now we have to get the elves. Think of a way and you'll get some rum at the end of it all!

*meanwhile the elves continue to get plastered in my Grog closet* 


	13. It was the french! god dam that parsley

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum**

Wow that almost as interesting as the oak tree stuff. I've really gotta find more interesting stuff.

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** Sam recovers from her wound, She says goodbye to Louis, who was being thrown over board, she shows that she knows more than one language, and they finally enter the cave. 

 ~***Final Line***~ _"I don't like the look of this" she said looking up at the huge cave they entered._

**TO My Wonderful reviewers**

**Zeldagrl436 – Yeah, but I've managed to get their arrows already but now they have knives and forks which can hurt too.**

**Dimonah Tralon – OMG you win hands down, I could not deal with 4 little sisters I can barely manage with 3!**

**Cecilia Gray – Don't ya hate it when it does that, happens to me all the time. Its cool bout the language, I just get a bad temper when people say cr@p bout my stuff And don't ya hate it when ya friends hit, it hurts bad, my best bud pokes me in the shoulder and its not a light little poke, its like a pen stabbing into your arm.  **

**Amanda – Thanks, its cool I get a bit crazy too, all the time actually.**

**Sweet A.K – No coffee, Got it. OMG so that's were hand went. I wondered what happened to him. I'm not sure what happened to Louis, as soon as my brain starts to work, he'll be back. BRAINFLASH story for sequel Louis is back, he goes mental, kidnaps Sam.  Jack, Will, and Liz are in hot pursuit to save her. Thanks for making my brain work.  **

_Shhhhh there coming_

Is it set?

_Yes, they should be commin' through ere in a second_

Oh here they come!

*Elves walk through kitchen doorway into the dining room and are covered by a large cage*

_What's this? What are you doing?_

You elves have gone out of control, its time you settle down. *Arrow flies past her head, Jack and Aus hide in next room* Jack I thought you took their arrows away?

_I did *shows 3 empty quivers* _

Where are the arrows? Do they happen to have them?

_They might._

Well at least they can calm down now. *another arrow flies past* they're not a very good shot when they are high/drunk.

_Yeah, yeah; Now about me rum_

Oh yes here you go. *hands Jack large bottle of Jamaican rum* will that do?

_It might *lies on the lounge and gets to work drinking it*_

Now on with the story

_LET US OUT. WE'LL BE GOOD_

Not until you come down off that suger rush.

**A Story by any other name**

"Dead men tell no tales_." _Mr Cotton's parrot sang as the Interceptor sailed into the lagoon 

"Puts a chill in the bones how many honest sailors have been claimed by this passage." Mr Gibbs said looking at the skeletons and wreaked ships in the harbour.

"How is it that Jack came by that compass?" Asked Will, who was looking at Jack who was looking at the compass, and Mr Cotton was looking at them (Jack and the compass) both.

"Not a lot's known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Muerta. That was before I met him, back when he was Captain of the Black Pearl." Gibbs Said sitting next to Will. 

"What? He failed to mention that." an astonished Will Said.

"Well, he plays things closer to the vest now. And a hard-learned lesson it was. See three days out on the venture the first mate comes to him and says everything's an equal share. That should mean the location of the treasure, too, so Jack gives up the bearings. That night there was a mutiny. They marooned Jack on an island and left him to die but not before he'd gone mad with the heat."

"Ah. So that's the reason for all the…" Will starts to act like Jack. 

"Reason's got nothing to do with it. Now Will, when a man is marooned he is a given a pistol with a single shot – one shot. Well it won't do much good hunting or to be rescued. But after three weeks of a starvin' belly and thirst, that pistol will start to look _real friendly. But Jack – he escaped the island, and he still has that one shot. Oh, but he won't use it, though, save for one man. His mutinous first mate."_

"Barbossa"

"Aye"

"How did Jack get off the island?"

"Well, I'll tell ye. He waded out into the shallows and there he waited three days and three nights till all manner of sea creature 'came and acclimated to his presence. And on the fourth morning, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft." 

"He roped a couple of sea turtles?"

"Aye, sea turtles."

"What did he use for rope?" Will asked and Gibbs looked confused.

"Human hair…from my back. Let go of the anchor!" Jack Said who had walked up behind them.

"Young Mr. Turner and I are to go ashore." Jack said to the crew.

"Captain! What if the worst should happen?" Asked Gibbs

"Keep to the code." Jack said.

"Aye, the code." Gibbs Agreed.

***************************************************************************************

Sam, Elizabeth and the pirates entered the cave, the big scary looking cave, to come face to face with piles and piles of gold 

"Ten years of hording swag" Pintel said

"And now we finally get to spend it" Ragetti answered. The pirates continued to talk with Sam and Elizabeth stood there taking in everything they saw.

"Ya know, we could just "borrow" some of this stuff" Said Sam giving Elizabeth a sly look.

"No" Elizabeth answered firmly.

"But maybe if…"

"No"

"But…"

"NO" A few pirates looked at the girls, who were now standing atop a large pile of treasure.

"You are such a downer" Grumbled Sam

"Yes well, this is stolen treasure." Sam just gave her a blank look.

"Meaning it's not ours" 

"Oh I know that but I was just wondering how long you've had that piece of spaghetti hanging off your face?" Sam pointed to Elizabeth's cheek.

"What!" asked Elizabeth frantically wiping at her cheek. 

"Hehehe, see your way too up tight."

"Well you would be too if you actually paid attention to the situation" Once again Sam gave her a blank look.

"They are going to bleed us!"

"Oh yeah that, eh can't win em all" Sam shrugged her shoulders and sat down and started looking through the pile of treasure.

"What is that meant to mean. You know you are so frustrating sometimes" Said Elizabeth turning around.

"Yeah people often say that, but I'm sure your glad to have me along, who wouldn't" Sam laughed.

"Yeah I suppose you are right, you are much funnier than most people I know" Smiled Elizabeth looking around at the pirates who were slowly filling up the cave.

"Dam right I'm right, I'm always right….." Sam continued to mumble as she sifted through the treasure.

*****************************************************************************

Meanwhile not very far away, Will and Jack are slowly making their way down the streamy thing, and into the cave.

"What Code is Gibbs to keep to if the worst should happen?" Asked Will who was looking at the treasure and skulls they passed.

"Pirate's Code. Any man that falls behind…is left behind."

"No heroes amongst thieves, eh?"

"You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you're well on your way to becoming one. Sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the Fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga and you're completely obsessed with treasure." Jack Said, noticing that Will was staring at the gold at the bottom of the stream.

"That's not true; I am not obsessed with treasure."

"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." Jack said looking at the gathering that was before them.

"Gentlemen, the time has come! Our salvation is nigh! Our torment is near at end." Shouted Barbossa to the crowd, Elizabeth was standing next to him and Sam was no where to be seen.

"Elizabeth" Whispered Will.

"For ten years we've been tested and tried, and each man here has proved his mettle a hundred times over and a hundred times again!" The pirates cheered. "Punished, we were. The lot of us - disproportionate to our crimes! Here it is…" He threw the chests lid off "…the cursed treasure of Cortez himself. Every last piece that went astray, we have returned…save for this." Barbossa pointed to the medallion that Elizabeth was wearing.

Will started to climb over the pile of treasure they were hiding behind "Jack!" Will said after Jack pulled him down.

"Not yet. We wait for the opportune moment." Jack whispered. 

"881 we found but despaired of ever finding the last." Barbossa continued

"When's that? When it's of greatest profit to you?"

"Hmm I can think of one…May I ask you something? Have I ever given you reason not to trust me? Do us a favour – I know it's difficult for you, but please stay here and try not to do anything stupid." Jack Pleaded.

"And who among us has paid the blood sacrifice owed to the heathen gods?" Barbossa shouted.

"Us!" The pirates answered equally loud.

"And whose blood must yet be paid?"

"Hers!" Luckily most of the pirates were too involved in the speech to wonder were Sam had wondered off to. 

"You know the first thing I'm goin' to do after the curse is lifted? Eat a whole bushel of apples." Barbossa picked up his knife and grabbed Elizabeth's hand "Begun by blood…by blood undone."

"Sorry, Jack. I'm not going to be your leverage." Will Said; after he whacked Jack over the head with the oar. 

Barbossa cut Elizabeth's palm "That's it?" she asked.

"Waste not." He said as he dropped the medallion into the chest. Anticipation filled the air to see if it had worked.

"Did it work?" One pirate asked.

"I don't feel no different." Answered another

"How do we tell?" Pintel asked Barbossa. Barbossa answered by shooting him in the chest.

"You're not dead?" asked the first pirate.

"No. He shot me!" 

"It didn't work." Ragetti Growled.

"The curse it still upon us!" Some shouted.

Barbossa grabbed Elizabeth's arm and asked "You, maid! Your father, what was his name? Was your father William Turner?" 

"No" she answered.

"Where's his child? The child that sailed from England eight years ago, the child in whose veins flows the blood of William Turner. Where?" Barbossa slapped him and she fell down.

"You two! You brought us the wrong person!" Bo'sun yelled.

"No! She had the medallion. She's the proper age, What about her sister?" Pintel said. 

"She said their names were Turner – you heard her!" Will motions for Elizabeth to come down into the water "I think she lied to us."

"Where is the other one?" Barbossa yelled the pirate's looked at him blankly "Well FIND HER!!!" The pirates started to run around looking through the piles of treasure.

As Will and Elizabeth make their way out of the cave, they tried to slip out unnoticed but Jack (the monkey) saw them and tried to get the pirates attention. After about 3 minutes or so he finally does.

"The medallion! She's taken it! Get after her! You feckless pack of ingrates!" Barbossa Shouted.

"Found her Captain!" a few pirates yelled as they dragged Sam, who was covered in gold, jewels and pearls, out from behind a large gold pile.

"Hi ya'll" She said with a smile.

"You, who was your father?"

"I dunno, never met the bloke. Mum said he was nice." Sam looked fondly into the air "Why? Are you my father?" Sam Grinned

"No! Was your father William Turner?" He yelled grabbing her shoulders

"OWWWWW…Chill, there is no need to yell. I.Don't.KNOW" she yelled back, she saw him raise his hand "And don't you even think about slapping me. You saw what happened last time"

"GRRRRR FIND THE OTHER ONE" He yelled throwing Sam back into the other pirates' arms. The marched around the corner of the cave and started to make their way out of the entrance.

"No oars. Where's the oar?" Some pirates asked.

"Up ya arse" Mumbled Sam, the pirate holding her shook her "Hey, Hey, Hey watch the shoulder"

Suddenly Ragetti spotted Jack "You" Jack looked shocked and continued to sway unsteadily as he looked at the pirates.  

"You're supposed to be dead!" Pintel said looking strangely at Jack.

"Am I not?" Jack said looking down at himself.

"Jack" Sam cried happily.

"Oh; 'ello luv. I've come to save you..." Jack found a pistol pointed at him. "Oh"

"Palulay…palu-li-la-la-lulu, parlili… parsnip…" Jack was struggling so Sam tried to help him out.

"Parsley?" She said helpfully

"Parsley…no, par - partner, partner…"

"Parley?" Ragetti said.

"Parley! That's the one. Parley! Parley!" Jack said pointing at all the surrounding pirates. Sam started to giggle.

"Parley? Down to the depths whatever man that thought up "parley!" Growled Pintel.

"That would be the French." Smiled Jack.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hmmm it's all nice and quite here. Jack has passed out on the lounge and the elves have come down off their suger rush…HARD. Thanks to them I know have an interesting wall display of arrows. They even managed to spell out HELP with the arrows. I think I'll let them out, I hope they don't remember anything. Maybe I will wait until Jack wakes up before I do anything. Hmmm speak of the devil.

_Where?_

It's just a saying 

_Oh, seeing that those elves are asleep how about you and me getting to know each other better. Ya know what I mean *Runs his hand over shoulders and down my back*_

Yeah I know what ya mean and if ya don't move ya hand ya may lose it. I don't want you getting too fresh Mr Sparrow. At least not when I'm working.

_Then Stop working_

Can't, my Fans (hehehe) need their update and I don't wanna keep em waiting, there is another bottle of rum in that cupboard over there. And please don't wake the elves. *Jack walks over to the cupboard* and grab me a Malibu. Gotta go and figure out what to do with these elves.

Toodle-oo   


	14. Dammit you've been on here for a whole 2...

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.**

Yes people it is true, have a look for your self.

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** The cave scene thingy when they bleed Elizabeth, Will saves Elizabeth and ONLY Elizabeth, Sam goes through all the pirates treasure, Sam meets up with Jack once again.

 ~***Final Line***~ "_That would be the French." Smiled Jack._

**TO My Wonderful reviewers**

**Lightning Rain** – Yeah Louis might come back in the sequel (if any), and Jack most likely will try his luck, ya know he is a very lucky guy. 

**Whitedragoness** – Thanks, I'll update ASAP

**Cecilia Gray** - yeah I try as often as possible to change the script but my brain just doesn't work…I'm…I'm…UNORIGINAL *Sobs on Legolas's shoulder* oh yeah I totally give the credit of the script to who ever wrote it and to where I found the script. I'm glad you reminded me about that, thanks a suggestion I can use *stands on swivelly chair and raises hands above her head and yells* TO MAKE MY STORY THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD HAHAHAHAHA…………WOOOWWWWHHHHH *Falls off chair, Legolas catches her* Thanks leggy-boy _don't call me that _why, its cute _no it isn't _Oh shoosh I let you out of your cage didn't I. BTW don't ya hate it when FFN doesn't log you in.

**Dimonah Tralon** – Ahhhh her personality, yes I like it too, its fun too write.

**Linwen** - Thanks, I like making people laugh.

**Sweet A.K** - *Laughs* Haldir the cheeky bugger, can't believe he did that, sorry bout ya friend but I mean it was only a little arrow and it almost hit them, right? So what's the problem? I've hidden all the coffee and it seems hand and 'the boys' are getting along good, hand is giving Jack a back rub at the moment. I'm sure you'll come up with an idea soon, just ask your reviews to help you, worked for me ;) and here is the update. I managed to get it done, I've been brainstorming ideas for a LOTR story, which will involve 2 girls who get thrown into M.E but not by kissing the screen or jumping through the theatre screen etc, it will be different to most (I hope), yeah I decided Liz would be bled because there is a twist to Sam, I wonder if anyone has figured it out yet? Hope not.

_What did you say about Haldir?_

Nothing_   _

_Yes you did, you called him cheeky_

So what? Do you have to know everything?

_As much as possible_

Look Legolas, if you go over there with the others and be quite I'll reward you with a sponge bath

_Why thanky…Hang on a second reward me?_

You're right I really meant reward me.

_I will go, IF you buy me some wine_

IF you let be give you a bath

_No, if you buy me some wine I will not try to hurt you_

No…*thinks* Ok BUT you have to wear this. *Hands him some Boxers that say 'Gift wrapped just for you'*

_Ummm is there a shirt?_

Oh no, no shirt, now go and change and I'll pop down the bottle-o and grab a wine.

_*Mumbling* Better be the best bloody wine I've ever had._

Hehehe Where's my camera?  

**HAPPY 2004 EVERYONE **

I hope you all had a very happy, drunk New Years Eve…I DID and so did the elves, hehehe.

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

(BY THE WAY anything like _this is the person thinking. OK)_

****

Will and Elizabeth reached the Interceptor and started to board when something suddenly occurred to Elizabeth.

"Will, what about Sam?" Elizabeth asked grabbing hold of Will's leg as he was climbing up the ladder.

"She'll be fine" Will said shaking off Elizabeth and climbing up the ladder, _'I hope she will be alright. What am I saying of course she will be alright but I wonder if the pirates will be alright? Hehehe Oh but she is my sister and __Elizabeth__'s best friend and now it will make __Elizabeth__ sad if Sam is left there……' _

"Will…Will…WILL!!!" Elizabeth was standing behind Will on the ladder; Will had stopped in the middle of the ladder while he was thinking.

"Oh sorry" he mumbled and continued up the ladder. Once he reached the top of the ladder he was greeted by Gibbs.

"Hey Boy, Where be Jack?" He asked as Will grabbed Elizabeth's hand and started to lead her away.

"He fell behind" 

******************************************************************************************

Meanwhile in the Cave they were still standing around looking at Jack, something Sam wasn't getting board at doing.

"How the blazes did you get off that island?" Barbossa Asked looking at Jack.

"When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack smiled.

"Hmmmm that you are" Mumbled Sam catching Jack's Smile and returning it with a sultry one of her own. The pirates continued to banter back and forth; Sam while in her daze managed to capture a few words here and there such as "blood". This little adventure was kinda starting to freak her out but she wasn't going to let any one know that. She would rather continue to gaze at Jack until it was time to leave, and even then she was going to make sure that he was in her eye line. Suddenly she felt the shove from the pirate holding her and became suddenly aware that they were leaving. They got outside the caves where the boats sat without their oars, Barbossa then ordered to the more athletic pirates that they had to swim out and gather up the oars so that they could get back to the ship. They waited about half-an-hour before they made their way back to the ship; Sam even managed to get a seat next to Jack.

"So why do you wear eyeliner?" Sam asked Jack who answered with a smile.

"Why do you think?" 

"I think you wear it because it makes you ruggedly handsome, either that or gay" Smiled Sam

"Well I think I would much rather the first answer 'cause I ain't the other one" Jack looked slightly shocked.

"That's true 'cause I've heard that you are very much a womaniser"

Jack looked at her with a smile "What do you think?" he asked as he slipped an arm around her.

"I think that it would take a lot more than your famous moves to make a pass at me" She laughed and slipped his arm around the pirate that was sitting next to her and she moved so that she sat across from him. She gave him a cheeky smile and he answered with a chuckle of his own, the pirate that was now next to Jack looked quite frightened and then excited that Jack had his arm around him and grabbed his hand and kissed it, Jack noticed this and snatched his hand back, causing Sam to laugh so hard she almost fell out of the boat.

***********************************************************************************

The Interceptor continued to sail along at a rather fast pace. In one of the cabins sat Will and Elizabeth. Will was bounding Elizabeth's hand.

"You said you gave Barbossa my name as yours. Why?" Will said '_how do I tell her that I love her'___

"I don't know maybe because I …um…you…um…Sam was there." '_Great answer, just say it, and tell him the real reason…OW!'_ She pulled her hand away

"I'm sorry. Blacksmith's hands - I know they're rough." '_Stupid hands, maybe I should borrow Sam's cream stuff'___

"No…I mean yes, they are but… but don't stop." _'Please don't stop, I want those hands all over me, I want you, I really want you, take the invitation, if what Sam said is right you should know what I'm talking about…oh god I sound like Sam!'___

"Elizabeth." _'C'mon go for it, just lean in and kiss her, there was an invitation there, you had to be stupid not to see it'___

"It's yours." Elizabeth said pulling back _'What am I doing, come on body lean back in, OH no he is leaning back, shit the moment's gone' ___

"I thought I'd lost it the day they rescued me. It was a gift from my father. He sent it to me. Why did you take it?" '_Oh God, I hope she took it to remember me, but why give it back now?'___

"Because; I was afraid that you were a pirate. That would have been awful." '_Because you're so dam good looking and it would have been a waste, now forget that and KISS ME!'___

"It wasn't your blood they needed. It was my father's blood…my blood…the blood of a pirate_." 'Maybe Sam was right, maybe she is a kleptomaniac? Awww crap, now I'm gonna die, Stupid Dad, you know what; really it is all Jack's fault, yeah that's right him AND Sam. Dammit the moment's gone' ___

"Will, I'm so sorry, please forgive me." '_I really am, come on Will, don't be angry, be loving…AHHHH…psycho' _Will Slams the medallion on the table and Elizabeth gets up and leaves him there.

_'OHHH Crap, Please come back, I'm really not angry at you…no…I'm angry at Sam. Maybe she should stay with the pirates, gets her out of my ear, But she is my sister and I have an obligation to look after her, even though she is older and much better at stuff than me and makes sure that I know it and always teases me about Elizabeth and hides my pants…hang on she can Bloody well look after herself. Besides Jacks with her now…………OHHH NNNOOO Jack and Sam, Sam and Jack…Shit' Will proceeded to slam his head on the table as he thought about what Jack and Sam were doing right now._

*************************************************************************************

Jack was siting in the Captains cabin talking to Barbossa about…Stuff, Sam meanwhile was playing with Jack (The monkey, you dirty person).

"Come ere boy, that's a good monkey, now get that apple and I'll give you a ring" Said Sam who was sitting on the floor teaching the monkey to do stuff like fetch, etc.

"Good monkey" Sam crooned "Now here's your ring, here I'll put it on for you" she slipped the golden ring around the monkey's tail. "Who's a pretty monkey, who's a pretty monkey, you're a pretty monkey, yes you are" At this point Sam noticed that both the captain and Jack were staring at her funny. "What?" She asked.

"Why you talkin' like that?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Like what?" Sam asked innocently "Hoogy Boogy Googy" Sam started to rub the monkey's belly.

"LIKE THAT" hollered Jack pointing strangely at Sam.

"I'm just talking to the monkey, Ya know if you talk to animals like that it either Excites them or frightens them, and he is excited so I am teaching him stuff while yous talk, so if ya don't mind I'd like to get back to work" She smiled at the two men.

"O.K. but why ya wearing all ME treasure?"  Barbossa asked grabbing the crown of Sam's head. Sam stood up and in reply grabbed the crown off Barbossa and placed it back on her head.

"Because it looks good on ME" She said with a smile sitting back down with the monkey.

"That it does luv that it does" Jack said eyeing her off.

"Nice try, Captain Sparrow, you'll have to try harder for my affections" Sam said not even looking up from what she was doing, which was teaching the monkey to back flip. "Good Boy, here have a ruby"

"Captain, we're coming up on the _Interceptor_." Bo'sun said as he entered, giving Sam menacing looks which she returned standing up looking the pirate in the face.

"You got a problem, bead boy?" Sam growled.

"Yeah, you being alive" he growled in return. Barbossa and Jack got up and started to make their way over before anything could happen.

"Ya wanna go at it again? HUH?" She said.

"Yeah, bring it on" he said and jabbed her in her bandaged shoulder. Sam screamed in pain and clutched her shoulder and Bo'sun laughed at her and walked out but a second later Jack had to physically restrain her from following the large pirate.

"Hey, hey calm down, luv. What happened ere then?" Jack said setting her down on the deck and pointing to the shoulder wound.

"Nuthin" she mumbled

"Don't look like nuthin" He said, he went to have a look but remembered about Barbossa. He jogged up to where he was standing bringing Sam along reluctantly. They continued to talk about something that Sam wasn't interested in but what she did notice was the ship not very far away. She knew that ship, it was the Interceptor. '_Oh so that's what Bead freak said' she thought.  All of a sudden she** felt a rough hand push her in the other direction.**_

"Throw them in the Brig" Barbossa Said. She knew something was going to happen and she wanted to be around for it but for now it seems that Jack managed to get them locked up in the brig.

*****************************************************************************************************

"I really don't believe you, 2 seconds on this ship and you manage to get us thrown in the brig, I've been here more than a week or somethin and had managed to not get thrown in here" Sam said as she paced the cage in which held them. "Ya know I've never been caught ever, Slapping Norrington, stealing his wig, leaving cow dung in his jacket pocket, stealing his sword, pretending to be him and ordering his troops to attack and capture all these citizens…" she continued to name all these things she seemed to have only done to Norrington.

"Ya know they are very small things, Pranks as it would seem" Jack said as he sat on the bed.

"Yeah but doing it to the Commodore of the British fleet or what ever he is, he makes sure you know your treading on find lines. Stupid, pompous old prick. GRRRR" Sam said kicking the water that was around her feet.

"Why don't you come over here and I'll get rid of all that tension" Jack said suggestively.

"HMMM ummm no sorry I'm going to have to decline" Grinned Sam, Jack smiled back.

"Then how about you tell me how you came about that wound on your shoulder"

"I told you, its nuthin" Sam said she said lightly touching it and wincing as she did.

"Com' ere let me 'ave a look see" Jack said standing up as Sam came and sat down. He gently pulled the bandage off, a hiss of pain escaped from her lips.

"Hmmm, it'll take a while to heal, but it's clean. This bandage won't do though, tis covered in blood. Here" he started to rip of the bottom of his already tattered shirt off and wrap it around the wound.

"Now ya gonna tell me its nuthin? I know a sword wound when I see one" he asked as he finished up and sat next to her. She told him everything that happened from when she first got into the fight with Bo'sun to the duel they had below deck.

"…I feel really cheated; I mean I have never been beaten before. And it's something I never want to experience again; I'm not going to stop until I get my revenge." Sam said suddenly aware of Jack's arm around her waist. "And Jack you _are a step closer but your not that close" she said peeling it off.  _

"Just tryin' to be comforting" He murmured into her ear, Sam grinned and stood up, it's not that she wasn't interested, who wouldn't be, this was Captain Jack Sparrow, one of the hottest pirates in the Caribbean, but she wasn't going give in with out a fight.

"Don't sound like you were beaten, sounds like an unfinished fight" He said leaning back against the wall.

"And I plan to finish it, as soon as they do this curse thingy, I'll be right there to make sure to finish it."

"I thought you weren't listenin' to anythin' we said" Said Jack looking stunned.

"Hey I pay attention, more than you know" she said, jumping at the sudden noise of cannon fire. "It seems it has started" turning to Jack with a smile.  

**********************************************************************************************

_SOOOOO you think I'm hot._

I didn't say that

_Yes you did right there_

It's a story, besides I thought you where having a back rub?

_I was but I came over to find out why the Elves got bloody wine and I didn't get no rum?_

You didn't ask

_Well I'm asking now_

Hmmmm what can you do to get some rum? Hmmmm oh Here you go I've got an assignment for you.

_What is it?_

Do you know who Orlando Bloom is?

_Some pansy you like no doubt_

HE IS NOT A PANSY!!!

_Ok, OK, OK Calm Down *Holds hands up in defence*_

*puts chair back down from above her head* Ok I would like it very much if you could try to find him, and if you do there will be 5 bottles of rum for you when you get back.

_OK *runs out the door*_

HHHMMMMMWWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHA soon I will have all the hotties that the world has ever heard of. Dam Georgina; get outta my head.

*hiccup* _Watchya doing?_

Nothing Legolas, how do you find the boxers?

_Strangely comfortable_

Yeah I know they are nice aren't they.

_Where did you get them?_

Some…one left them here

_Oh Who?_

No one, how is your wine?

*pouts* _Elladen and Elrohir have taken it from me._

Oh poor Leggy *Gives him a hug* Here, this is just for you *produces a new bottle of wine from desk draw*

_OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH thankyou *Gives a kiss on the cheek, then bows and walks off*_

Ahhhhhhhh I love it when he does that *faints*


	15. Ending up in my arms

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.**

I'm guessing that a Boeing 747 is a really big plane. Haven't been on a plane myself but I'm sure it's big.

~***Previously of ASBAON*~**  Will and Elizabeth have a thinking match, Sam steals a lot of treasure, She teaches the monkey to do stuff, Jack is on the Pearl for 5 minutes and manages to get them thrown in the brig, Sam confides in Jack who tries to make another move but yet again fails.

 ~***Final Line***~ "Hey I pay attention, more than you know" she said, jumping at the sudden noise of cannon fire. "It seems it has started" turning to Jack with a smile.  

**TO My Wonderful reviewers**

**Zeldagrl436 – Thanks**

**Serilia – Coolies, I hoped there would be chemistry between them. Don't worry though I think using it that way is ok, because it's not really school, is it :P *chucks you a fire extinguisher* you ok? Yeah I think I will write a bit more Spanish, I've always wanted to learn it, in the meantime I will just use the translator on the net. Thanks for the offer though!**

**Sweet A.K – EEEEWWWWW spit balls, yeah I know kissing the screens a bit sad, but I've though up a kinda practical way, (though I don't know if it's already been done?). Yeah it's the same with sisters actually; you really can't live with em. Jeeze she really needs to lighten up doesn't she? I mean sure she _could have _died, but she didn't did she, hehehe I can't actually see why anyone would want to runaway from an elf. Ohhhhhhh Fantasia huh? Don't like that movie much myself, even though there was a package that came the other day; for Legolas apparently, and you'll never guess what it was. Yep it was that blasted movie, they got too watch it once (and that's only because I couldn't say no to Leggy, dam him and his hotness) but then I hid it away, I can't say where cause they are standing around me as I type. _Look she said I was hot,_ go away all of you, you realise I have some big spiders in the draws and if you don't go I'll open the draw. *Starts to open the draw, but the elves ran away* hmmm apparently they don't like chocolate spiders…oh well *munches away* Ohhhhhhh good for you on the thinking of a new plot *claps insanely* I knew you could do it.**

**Dimonah Tralon – Yeah I though up those pranks one night while I was hiding my Little sisters' pillows, hehehe, they looked for them alllllll night. All I did was put them on their balcony, bugger though, it would have been good if it rained though but because it was summer, no rain. Oh well.**

**CJ10 – Ok I won't take _all_ the hotties, I'll just borrow Orlando for a while and then release him into the wild once I'm done. I don't think I'll expand my little group just yet cause I gotta deal with these guy first. *Screams in the background* Legolas! Put. Jack. Down…Elladen get off the lamp…Elrohir take hand out of your pants you dirty elf…GGGRRRRR………heres the update…NOW GIVE COOKIE……sorry that was the kid in me coming out…hehehe…oh no they're at it again.**

**Amanda – Nooo I don't think hand will get very tired of Jack…who would hehehe **

*Grumbling in background* Shut up Jack!

_WHY should I? Ye didn't give me no rum, and you promised!_

I said you would get rum IF you brought back Orlando Bloom, and I don't see any Orlando Bloom here, Do you?

_I couldn't get 'im, There was this monster woman around 'im that kept biting me every time I got near him_

Ohhhhhhh you mean Kate Bonsworthless?

_Yeah, dats 'er, she's really scary. Scarier than Barbossa in a bikini_

I didn't need that image………Well you can have 1 bottle for facing the beast, you deserve it.

*Comes over and takes the bottle* _Thankyou luv *_Kisses my hand*

You're so sweet…*Jack gives a slightly pissed off look* …err I mean brave and ruggedly handsome *Smiles at him sweetly*

_That's betta *Goes and drinks the rum* _

Hehehe he's a keeper.****

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

Sam started to pace, knowing that there was a fight going on and she was locked in the brig was killing her, granted she _was _with Jack, but she would much rather be up on deck.

"Luv would ye settle ye self down, all dat gold ye wearin' is making a god awful jingle" Jack said from the cot, he'd been watching her pace for the last 10 minutes.

"I can't settle down when I know there is a fight going on" Sam said turning to face him "How can you just sit there, don't you want to go fight"

"Aye, as much as the next pirate, but its kinda hard when ye locked in a brig. Ye know what I'm sayin'" Jack said patting the spot next to him.

"I guess your right…for once" she sighed and sat down, Jack wiped a lock of hair from her shoulder, she didn't pull away from him but when he started to run his fingers down her spine, she couldn't resist "Captain, if you want to keep your hand I suggest you remove it before my dagger does" she threatened. 

"You're no fun" he pouted taking his hand away.

"Oh I'm plenty fun but……" she was interrupted by the side of the ship being blown up by cutlery.

"What the…?" she said picking her self up from the ground and pulling the crown off her head to find a fork stuck in the side of it. "That was close" she said chucking it aside.

"Stop blowing holes in my ship!" Jack shouted through the hole. Sam looked at him strangely then noticed that the blast had destroyed the cell door.

"Jack, the door…" Sam watched as he continued to yell through the hole. "Jack! Stop ya yelling and let's get going" she yelled grabbing his arm.

"I knew ye couldn't resist" he said as he was dragged out of the cell.

"Yeah, I couldn't resist leaving. Now come on" She said as she ran up the stairs with Jack just behind her. They emerge from the door to come face to face with a pirate, but just before he could do anything Sam kicked him fairly hard between the legs and watched him double over in pain.

"Nice work, luv, lets go" Jack grabbed her hand and led her to the side of the ship, where a pirate with a rope was standing. As they reached him the pirate was shot and as he fell Jack grabbed the rope. "Thanks very much, C'mon luv" Sam stood up next to Jack and held on to his waist and Jack wrapped his spare arm around hers and they swang over to the Interceptor.

"Jack!" Cried Gibbs as they landed on the deck "and yet another girl"

"I'm not a girl!" Sam yelled as she untangled herself from Jack, who wasn't making a move, which surprised Sam.

"Bloody empty" Jack grumbled as he chucked a canteen at Gibbs who only smiled in return.

"Lizzie!" Sam cried as she threw her arms around Elizabeth who was fending off a pirate.

"Sam!" she Cried as she knocked the pirate overboard and hugged her back "Oh Goodness are you alright? Did Jack hit on you? What happened?"

"Yes, of course and nothing. How did you get back here?" Sam asked picking up a sword that was on the ground.

"Will saved me" She said watching Sam's reaction turn from happiness to slight anger then sly.

"Oh really, and where is dear William, pray tell?" Sam watched Elizabeth's reaction. 

"Will …" Elizabeth's face fell as she went to search for him, and found him under a grate "Will!"

"Elizabeth!" he yelled trying to get through the grate.

Jack meanwhile spotted the monkey with the medallion and started after him "Monkey!" he said.

Sam watched this all and decided to add a yell of her own "BANANAS" a few pirates looked at her funny. "What?" She asked "Can't I yell anything anymore" and with that she walked over to where Elizabeth was struggling with the grate. "Heya Lizzie, Watchya doing? Oh, Hi Willy-boy; hows it hanging?" Sam asked innocently.

"Fine and yourself…Whatchya reckon?" he snapped.

"Now that's not the way to get yourself saved now, is it?" she said shaking a finger at him.

"Ooohhhh C'mon Sam Help you… please" Will Pleaded, who was treading Water now.

"Will, you realize that I don't have to right? I mean you didn't save me did you, and I'm your sister!" Sam said with her hands on her hips looking down at him.

"But…but…you can look after yourself…ooohhhh c'mon Sammy, please" Will gave her a pleading look with his big brown eyes.

"Ma-ma used to call me that……God love you William, You know I do" Sam got down and started to pull the boxes out of the way. And then they tried to lift the gigantic mast that had fallen on top. "If you weren't my brother…" Sam threatened.

"I can't move it." Elizabeth cried

"C'mon, don't give up" Sam said straining against the mast, suddenly she felt a strong pulling sensation "HEY, Leggo" She yelled and pulled away from the pirates pulling at her waist.

 "If you want him come and claim him!" She yelled holding a broom above her head; the pirate just looked strangely at her and unsheathed his sword. "Never mind, I'm coming, Sorry Will, I know you can get out on your own. REMEMBER THE FISH" she yelled and trudged off with the pirates. Elizabeth was still trying to pull the mast off when the pirate grabbed her too.

"Will!" She screamed as she was dragged away.

"Elizabeth!" He screamed. Sam's voice is heard form the Pearl.

"AGAIN WITH THE SCREAMING OF ELIZABETH, NO ONE GIVES A CRAP BOUT ME!" 

*****************************************************************************************

Jack meanwhile was chasing after the monkey.

"C'mon ya little bugger, come on come to Jacky" Suddenly he came face to face with Barbossa.

"Why, thank you, Jack" Barbossa said as the monkey handed him the Medallion. 

"You're welcome" Jack smiled thinking that he'd done something

"Not you. We named the monkey Jack." Barbossa gave a toothy smile, what teeth there was anyway.

"Oh I see" Jack said as he was pulled onto the Pearl. He watched as his crew was tied up to the mast. He also noticed that Will wasn't there and that they were moving. Once they were a fair way away from the Interceptor, everyone turned and looked at the ship which was just sitting there, all of a sudden there was a loud explosion and a great ball of fire went up from the spot where the Interceptor used to be.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" cried Elizabeth, Jack turned around and found Elizabeth, who had crumbled into a sobbing mess, at Sam's feet. Sam looked shocked, she didn't move from where she stood on the deck even when the pirates started to move around again looking please with themselves occasionally pushing her out of the way. She was just staring at the fire that burned a few meters away form them. He walked up to her and picked up Elizabeth, who then proceeded to yell at Barbossa and Sam just continued to look at the spot were the Interceptor once was.

"C'mon luv, it's ok" He said trying to be comforting, which was quite hard for him being a pirate and all.

"How can it be ok? HUH Tell me how losing the only real family I had right before my eyes is ok?" She said pulling away and staring at him, her green eyes brimming with fresh tears. He didn't really know how to answer that, and he found that he couldn't look her in the face either.

"Luv I can't answer that, I was just trying to help. Look ye brother is tough and bloody stubborn so he wouldn't give up without a fight, ye know that as well as I do" He looked up and found that she was actually crying.

"You're right. I'm sorry" she said angrily wiping the tears away "He is …very stubborn, tough …Weelllll I dunno bout that, but he sure is stubborn. I kinda have this feeling that he is still alive but, you see, that explosion was very convincing." She smiled at him "By the way Jack, that's an extra 5 points for trying" and with that she walked over to Elizabeth, who was still crying and pounding Barbossa who just pushed her away so that she fell into Sam's arms. All of a sudden there was a splashing noise and then Will was standing atop the railing.

"Barbossa" He yelled pointing a pistol at Barbossa.

"Will" Sighed Elizabeth standing up from Sam's arms.

"WILL, What the hell do you think your playing at?" Screamed Sam starting to march over to him but Jack caught her "Do you realize what kinda things I was thinking, and they weren't the kinda things I usually think of either, _mierda!__I aunque usted era muerto__, _Híbrido!_ I know you're really out to kill me aren't you? _Infierno sangriento…... _And how the HELL did you get up there?" She was struggling against Jack but stopped when she noticed that almost everyone was shrinking away from her. "Jack, you can let go now" Jack still didn't let go "Jack, I'm going to count to 5 and if your hands are still there then something……unpleasant is going to happen to the two twins and their tall friend. 1…2…3…" Jack instantly let go and backed up. "That's better" she said calming down then looking at Will with her hands on her hips_

"Ummm Sam, I can't speak Spanish. But ummm I'll tell you later?" Will cringed and waited for the reply

"Fine" she huffed "Get on with what ever you were going to say"

"Ummm errrrr …*cough*… She goes free" demanded Will pointing his pistol at Elizabeth then at Barbossa, a though seemed to cross his mind but he shook his head and dismissed it. He turned and looked at Sam and found that Jack was actually sitting on top of her with his hand over her mouth, she meanwhile was struggling under his grasp.

"What's in your head, boy? You've only got one shot, and we can't die" Sneered Barbossa.

"Will, please don't do anything stupid" Begged Jack.

"Mmmmrmrmfffemem mmee" Came a murmured reply from Sam who was struggling really hard underneath Jack.

"I'll let ya go if you promise not to do anything stupid." Jack asked looking down into her face. She nodded in reply, Jack got off her and helped he stand up.

"Bet you loved that" she said with a smile as she dusted herself off.

"Every second, luv" Jack murmured in her ear, Sam pushed him off.

"So what's happening?" she asked.

"Well I just told Will not to do anything stupid"

"Oh, well good luck, stupid is his middle name" she laughed.

"You can't die but I can" Stated Will.

"See, like that" Sam said while Jack slapped his forehead.

"Who are you, boy?" Barbossa asked looking at Will as though he knew him but he couldn't remember exactly. Luckily Jack stepped in.

_ "No one. He's no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though – eunuch." Jack said stepping between Barbossa and Will._

"I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT. Sorry Liz looks like you picked the wrong one" Sam said falling to the ground in a hysterical laughing fit.

"My name is Will Turner. My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs in my veins." 

"Name your terms, Mr. Turner" Barbossa said admiring the boy's bravery.

"Elizabeth goes free." At this Sam stopped her laughing and stood up, looking at Will.

"Yes, we know that one. Anything else?" Will looks around and sees Jack pointing to himself.

"And the crew – the crew are not to be harmed."

"Agreed" Sam started to storm over to Will again.

"Right this is the last time Will, I'm gonna kill ya myself. _Usted es muerto, y no cuido si usted es mi hermano cualquiera_!__"_ She yelled, as she grabbed his leg and tried to push him overboard, but he was holding onto a rope._

"FINE, FINE, Release my sister too" He yelled holding desperately onto the rope, Sam nodded in victory and let go of his leg and walked backwards straight into the arms of a pirate who held her tight as Barbossa turned to face her.

"You lied" he spat

"EWWW DEAD PIRATE SPIT…and no I didn't lie…*thinks*……lie about what?" she asked innocently

"GRRRR Being a child of William Turner" He yelled

"But I'm not, I'm his sister" she yelled back.

"No not him" he said pointing to Will, who was looking on with great interest "HIS father was also called William Turner"

"Ooooooohhhhhhh" she said understanding now "Nope sorry, I didn't know my father, Ma-ma used to say he was nice though, a real gentleman always kind, that's why she wondered why I turned out the way I did, but she said I have his hair. Besides as if you couldn't tell we're both different, I mean c'mon, Look at me and look at him…" She continued to babble on until Barbossa finally yelled.

"OK, OK, I GET IT. Just Shut up" the big pirate holding her threw her backwards into Jack's arms.

"It would seem ye keep ending up in me arms, don't it" Jack said smiling down at her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**TRANSLATION**

_Mierda!__I aunque usted era muerto__, _Híbrido! – _Sh!t, I thought you were dead, B@sted_

 _Infierno sangriento! – Bloody hell_

_Usted es muerto, y no cuido si usted es mi hermano cualquiera _- _You're dead, and I don't care if you're my brother either_

__

_**************************************************************************************************************_

Everything's quite, nothing to do, here so I'll just sit here and talk to you. Hehehe actually everyone's passed out, except for Elladen, who is watching LOTR, it's quite funny really. 

_Why am I not here?_

Because you aren't in the movie, only the book (which is really crap (him being only in the book I mean, the book was great!!!)) 

_But Legolas is there! _

Yes well, just think there will not be any scary-stalkers after you

_I suppose you are right_

Dam right, here watch this instead. *puts in Video of the elves and Jack playing Mini-golf at Jamberoo* 

_HAHAHAHA I remember that day. It twas, a good evening for all. We must do it again._

Sure but next time we'll go to Wonderland!

_What is this 'Wonderland'?_

It is an amusement park, with roller-coasters and all kinds of stuff *shows him a brochure* 

_It looks wonderful_

That's why it's called WONDERLAND; we'll go one day soon. *Elladen continues to watch the video*

Hmmm very short attention spans that one. HMMM ooooooohhhhhhh guess what there was a hottie while I was shopping today. MMMMMM he had the 'rocker' look to him, yummy. My friends said he was checking me out *rolls-eyes* exaggeration I think, but I'm going back tomorrow to go to the movies, and to see if he's there…………………. BONUS!!!! 

I don't care if you don't care I just needed to SPILL


	16. Rum and some sun

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.**

That's a lot of money, hhhhmmm maybe I should eliminate something…*looks around* eh couldn't be bothered. 

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** Sam met up with Elizabeth and Will again, the big fight happened, a sad moment that didn't really work, Jack stops Sam killing Will before the pirates had a chance too, DEAD PIRATE SPIT, Lots of blabbering on Sam's part and Sam ends up in Jack's arms again.  

 ~***Final Line***~ "_It would seem ye keep ending up in me arms, don't it" Jack said smiling down at her_.

**TO My Wonderful reviewers**

**Sweet A.K – Ooohhhh wow I have created a role model, *sheds tear* I don't think I've seen Darkness Falls…*checks mental movie list, eyes start to spin* AHHHHHH Opps hehehe too many movies to think off, sounds scary though…I like scary movies mmmwwwaaahhahahahaha, *Elves step backwards and start to draw their weapons while Jack looks on curiously form his spot on the lounge* Sorry, boys got a bit carried away then, you can put your weapons away now…now…DO IT OR NO MORE WINE!!! Thankyou. Poor kitty……now I'm not one for letting people sleep in my bed *Muffled laughter and sharp retorts heard in background* SHUT UP, ok so that was a lie but I don't think sharing your bed with an elf is a bad thing. I mean I'd share my bed with mine if they needed it _thank Valar we don't _Shut Up. Good luck in catching Faramir; he'd be a good catch.**

**Lightning Rain - *Backs away Slowly throwing update at you and taking Jack through doors while whispering 'RUN'* hehehe I'm glad you like Sam, maybe you should give me that chocolate *reaches for chocolate but pulls hand away when you start to growl* hehehe I think I'll be going now and um write the next chapter…BYE**

**Dimonah Tralon – Yeah, I kinda ramble like that, it infuriates my mates and they stop listening to me they kinda just go into a daze while I keep talking and then sometimes I change the subject mid sentence and they don't realise until I ask them a question and then they are totally confuse…Oh look I'm doing it again.**

**Serilia – Ok, Ok, My spelling sucked last chapt and the translator didn't like me that day, but I'm getting the hang of it. I actually decided on the Spanish while I was proof reading it, so I kinda rushed it…hehehe…stupid Babel Fish (the translator) Oh well as long as you get the drift of what I was saying. **

     

**A/N – This will be the last update for a while, I'm going away for a bit, so I might not make a cliff hanger, although I might?......what am I talking about…bloody nut…anyway, if anyone gives a cr@p I saw the hottie from the other day yesterday…4 or 5 times hehehe**

_Soooo you're a stalker then?_

No Elladen I just happened to walk past him coincidently a few times, there is nothing wrong with that, is there?

_You?__ Well you are slightly strange_

Yeah well Legolas you're hair is ugly *Legolas looks at her like she slapped him* that's right you'd better be careful bout what you say to me.

*Legolas walks away in disgust* _that was quite a low blow_

Yeah well Elladen, he called me strange

_But you are_

Yeah well you're ugly that's why they didn't put you in the movie *Elladen walks away shedding a tear or 6*

_You're not doing well are you?_

Don't push my buttons Elrohir, I'll apologise later, this is a punishment for them. *Turns around to Find Legolas talking to his hair telling it that it was indeed beautiful and Elladen asking Jack is he was handsome while Jack tried to get away* It's a mental punishment. 

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

"Da-da-dada-da-dada-da-dada" *funeral march* Sam stood between Jack and Elizabeth as they watched a small island come into view.

"Sam, that really isn't helping" Elizabeth said shakily as she looked at the pirates picking up the plank and moving it into position.

"What? It's a catchy tune" Sam defended "Ooohhhh I see, you're worried about the plank thing, No worries though, you can swim right? And you don't really have a big dress weighing you down like the last time you went for a dip, remember, that's when The Spaz saved you" she said indicating towards Jack.

"What did ye say about me?" Jack asked turning to her.

"Nothing, I was just talking about when you saved Lizzy" Smiled Sam; suddenly Elizabeth was pulled away towards the plank. "Lizzy where you goin…Oh" 

Elizabeth was being pushed along the slowly rocking piece of unstable wood. Will meanwhile was screaming his head off at Barbossa, who was just smiling at Will's stupidity. Barbossa turned to Elizabeth

"So I'll be having that dress back before you go."

Elizabeth looked disgusted and started to strip of her dress.

"Da-da-nana…" Started to hum stripper music when Elizabeth shot her a look that just screamed 'If-I-don't-die-here-and-now-I-will-find-you-and-hurt-you-ferociously' Sam stopped though she was still humming under her breath so only Jack could hear.

"She's not lookin' to happy 'bout ye humming that" Jack said through the side of his mouth.

"Yeah well, Liz is up tight sometimes" Sam sighed, as she watched the scene unfold. She watched in fury as Barbossa taunted Elizabeth and Bo'sun send her into the water, suddenly it was Jacks turn, Barbossa also taunted Jack about the island and his gun, Barbossa in return merely chucked his things in the ocean and watched as Jack jumped in to save them. Barbossa turned to Sam and seemed to think things through before motioning to the two pirates that stood by her sides to bring her forward.

"Soooo what's happening Barbra?" she asked Barbossa innocently who snarled in return.

"What did ye just call me?" 

"Barbossa?" she sort-of asked/stated 

"Hmm…well since we have no use for ye, I was thinking that I might chuck ye overboard with the other two, but then again my crew would like a play-thing cause it does get awfully lonely around this ship. So what it be, my dear?" The two pirates let go of her arms as she thought.

"Hmmm while the second option is quite appealing, _Captain_, I think I would really rather the island" She smiled with a slight slyness.

Barbossa laughed a hardy laugh "Well what you think, doesn't very much matter now does it. I think you will spend your time here, with the crew."

Sam looked around at the pirates that were starting to close in on her, and then with a smile she turned to Barbossa. "Well, then I guess I have no other choice" She turned to Will 

"William, don't worry, you'll be alright…Trust me" he looked a bit peeved that she'd called him William but he dismissed it and with that she turned and took a running leap over the side of the ship. 

Barbossa walked over to the edge of the ship and found her grinning at him from a few metres away. 

"Thankyou for your humble hospitality, Captain Barbossa" she hollered from the water and with that she swam as hard as she could with her wounded shoulder nagging her to rest every stroke of the way.

***************************************************************************************

Jack and Elizabeth waded out of the water onto the shore and Jack turned to look at the retreating ship and sighed

"That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship." Jack strained to see through the sun's glare "What's that…?" he wondered out loud which caused Elizabeth to turned around and stare too.

"That's…that's…my god it couldn't be" She gasped as she watched the splashing figure get closer.

"What…well don't keep it a secret, Luv" He said watching the splashing slowly come closer but it seemed to be struggling now.

"It's…Sam" she said pointing "and she's in trouble" they watched as Sam slowly stopped splashing and float there, they were sure they could hear her muttered curses from here. Jack waded back into the water and swam out to where she was floating, trying to regain her strength. 

"'Ello Luv, Fancy seeing ye here" Jack smiled as he reached her.

"Yeah, small world isn't it" she smiled back grabbing hold of his arm to in a feeble attempt to keep herself afloat.

"Now, what seems to be the problem with ye? And what the hell ye doing out 'ere?"  He said treading water.

"Well, my shoulder seems to have revolted and I kinda jumped ship because Barbossa threatened me to be the crews' 'Play-thing'" 

"Hmm well then maybe we should get ye to shore then, looks like Miz Liz is fretting" he pointed to Elizabeth who was pacing the shore line watching them intensely.

"Yeah I'm kinda cold" she said as they swam oddly back to the shore. Once they got there Elizabeth started to fuss over Sam

"Oh your poor arm, oh and look you're freezing…" she was starting to pace while blabbering about all the things wrong with her and also scolding her for jumping in the water too.

"No wetter than you" Sam muttered but Liz didn't hear her, she just continued to fuss, making Jack give up his equally wet jacket to put on Sam; that was until Sam snapped.

**"Elizabeth Swann, l'arrêtent ce moment, Fucken Enfer, vous faites toujours ceci, ****vous obtiendrez cheveux gris si vous ne vous arrêtez pas,  s'arrêtent svp ce moment."**

Elizabeth turned and gave Sam a funny look; she didn't have to know what language she was speaking, or more accurately yelling, to know what she said.

"I'm sorry, it's just I worry" She said sitting next to her. Jack during all this time was meant to be changing her bandages but when Sam had started yelling in the foreign tongue he had backed off right away. He was know curious to know what language that was. It had seemed so…so…interesting was the only word he could use to describe it properly, other words would be 'sexy', 'mind-blowing' and 'frightening'.

"Umm…err…Luv; what was that ye were just hollering?" he asked softly. Sam turned to him with a smile.

"Sorry, it was French, I think, I know a few languages and when I get angry I usually let fly in one of those, it seems to have a deeper effect on the person than what yelling in English would have."

"Oh really, that's interesting, I know a few meself, but the words kinda get mixed up a bit and the words I know of in that language…weeeellllll…lets just say I couldn't talk to people with em unless I wanted to die" he said with a lopsided grin. 

Jack started to walk away with Elizabeth hot on his heels, asking all sorts of questions about the last time he was here. Sam meanwhile just lay down in the sand and gathered up the morning sun that was beating down on her; she didn't even hear Jack until he had basically stepped on top of her.

"Ere ye go luv, a nice bottle of Rum, to sooth the temper and ease out the cold." He said passing her a rather large blackened bottle. She started at him curiously and he just said "Trust me, you'll forget alllllll your troubles" and with a golden smile he helped her up and made their way over to where Elizabeth was standing, looking at the bottle she held.

"Yes Lizzy, you drink it" Sam said with a grin as she and Jack made their way over to her and plopped down on the sand.

 "PARTY TIME" cried Sam and took a great swig, which was encouraged by Jack's cheers and laughter and Elizabeth's horrified facial as she sipped her own bottle. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**I fixed up the French a bit, I hope its better    - I can't accurately remember what it says but its along the lines of – Elizabeth Swann, stop it this instant, F*cken hell, you will obtain grey hair from this if you don't stop, stop please this moment"  ******

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~****

Sorry it's a bit short would love to have written a really long one but its 11.30pm here and I have to go to bed, got a big day tomorrow.

_What do you mean?_

Well Elrohir I'm taking you guys CAMPING *STARTS TO CHEER WILDLY* 

_But I think you will have to first apologise to Legolas and Elladen first_

Why? Ooooooohhhhhhh yeah that's right, better get it over and done with.

Seeya all in about a week!!!!!!!!

Toodle-oo

_Hello all, I am Elrohir son of Elrond and brother to Elladen; I have decided to write you all a message with the box that Aus uses. Hehehe she forgot to turn it off…_

_Ye know if she finds ye on dat she's gonna ave a fit_

_Yes I know perfectly that well but at the moment she is apologising to the others, would you like to say hello, Jack?_

_Yeah; hello out there, Luvs. This ere's Jack Sparrow…CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, and I'm wonderin if any of ye have seen me __Pearl__. It's a big black boat wit sails and a scary lookin crew._

_That will do Jack_

_Aye, I just miss me ship, hmmm she took it off me *sheds a tear* she said I might get it back if I'm good, but I don't know how to be good. Hey; she's coming; quickly *they run away from the computer*_

Opps forgot to turn this off 

Yay I made up with the ELVES hehehehehe… how? *in sing song voice* I'll never tell


	17. Tickles and rum FUN

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Venus**** is the only planet that rotates clockwise.**

Whatchya know, ya learn something new everyday, you can blurt that out at school *Screams and covers her face while shaking* No, no, make it stop…aaaahhhhhh…sorry, sorry, I have only got a week or 2 until I have to start the hardest year of my life…NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! **  
  
**

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** Sam refused to be the crews play-thing and jumped over board with Jack and Elizabeth.

 ~***Final Line***~  _"PARTY TIME" cried Sam and took a great swig, which was encouraged by Jack's cheers and laughter and Elizabeth's horrified facial as she sipped her own bottle._

I have sooooooooooooo many ideas for sequels, I think I might even have to have a trilogy *stars in eyes* I can see it know…my own movies *shakes head* but that can never happen *Cries* its ok I am over it now.  I also have big ideas for my other story…its LOTR…should be ok cause I am slowly getting better at writing. Very slowly

**HERE'S A LONG ONE!!!!!!!!!!!**

**To my wonderful reviewers**

**Lightning rain – Hmmmm you have an evil muse?!? *raises eyebrow* ……Ok that's cool, My friend made up a plan to Kidnap Orlando bloom, but I can't really say what she was going to use……secret!!! Yeah I accidentally gave the elves chocolate too…Not a good idea *Shows nail marks on back* they get VERY vicious!!! Ooohhhh I like confetti and your welcome!  **

**Zeldagrl436 – Yeah camping was really fun, I took them all body surfing and body boarding…hehehe…the elves got a wee bit sunburnt.**

**I lOvE cHeRrIeS yUm – Hmm, personally I don't think I could choose out of either of them, they're just too god damn HOT…but don't tell them that, they'll get bigger heads.**

**Cecilia****Gray**** – Yeah they are cry-babies, but I apologised and blamed Jack who got angry but forgot about it when I gave him rum. I wish I knew Spanish, but until I could actually be bothered to learn, I guess I will just have to rely on the stupid computer translator……bugger.**

**Dimonah****Tralon**** – Yeah I like talking to my muses (but I don't tell them that they're my muses)…hehehe they are all asleep they have had a big week. **

**Pirate'sRedWinter**** – coolies I'm glad you like it, and about that…Weelllll there is something about Sam that makes her different, you'll find out in this chapt (and I'm actually going to make Jack's smartness show…eventually)!!!**

**Coco**** bean - *in robotic voice* here…you…go…mast… *shakes head* hhhhhhhaaaaayyyy don't do that you almost had me then but since you said please here is the update *starts to back away slowly***

**Sweet A.K – Yeah the Rum scene is the greatest, I plan to leave my fav part in though, you just really can't mess with the classics, I would LUV to be on that island, without Elizabeth though, oh and don't worry you will grow up one day, maybe, I haven't…I don't think *looks at herself in the mirror* hmmmm I can't tell I'll ask someone later. Its cool bout the review cause I'm sorry it took so long to update, things have been hectic here too, parties, camping, fighting and sunburn…thank god you don't have to deal with that…yet, Geez I think things are much more hectic there though, and my elves are asleep at least. Faramir shouldn't be so uptight, poor couch, mine keeps getting jumped on…mainly by Jack. I really don't know what to think about anything anymore, these guys are soooo immature…not that that's a bad thing but I expected them to be a…bit different, I'm glad to say I haven't yet had to send mine to corners but I think I'll remember that though so I can use it as a threat, hehehe I can picture them with those faces…hahaha funny, very funny, well I'll let ya get back to making them happy *Winks***

Hehehe the Elves have finally fallen asleep, they haven't slept at all this last week, and they got a bit sunburnt while we were camping. I taught them how to body-surf and body-board, Legolas and Jack caught on pretty quickly but I think the twins didn't really like the waves…they were only 2 foot waves, nothing to be frightened about. They stayed on the beach and laid in the sun and fell asleep, now they are red , I told them that putting sun screen on would prevent it but they thought that it would clog up their skin, prissy elves, and now they have paid the price. Legolas also got burnt for the same reason, but he isn't in as much pain because he spent most of the time under the water…hehehe its fun to dunk elves.

_'Ello Luv_

Whatchya want Jack?

_Well seeing as the elves are……intoxicated on their own pain and have passed out, I thought maybe *runs hand along shoulders* we could get to know each other a little better, ye know?  _

*sighs* There is a bottle of Jamaican rum in the fridge next to the salad

_Thankyou *runs off into the kitchen*_

When you live with em, ya learn the "subtle" signals.

*_Jack__ walks back in* 'ere ye go Luv *hands her some Milk Arrowroot biscuits*_

Thankyou Jack that was very sweet *Jack gives a dirty glare* I mean ……no I do mean sweet and ya gonna have to deal with it

*Jack throws himself down on the lounge* hey, hey watch the furniture

**A ****STORY**** BY ANY OTHER NAME**

Sam was lying on the beach basking in the wonderful Caribbean sun when she heard some shouting and foul language being thrown around like a softball.  She turned her head and saw that Elizabeth was the source of all the shouting; this was very unusual because Elizabeth was not a person who swore...much, but she managed to decipher some of the angry words. She was yelling at Jack about his adventures or something along the lines of that while Jack got some more rum out of the cache.

"Drink up me 'earties yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me. We pillage, we plunder …." Sam mumbled trailing off as she watched the scene unfold, she decided to stop the "conversation" before it got too out of control, so she rolled over and pushed herself up with her good arm and started to make her way over to the arguing pair. She had managed to forget the bottle of rum she had had earlier and started to stumble a little, tripping over unseen obstacles as she made her way over.

"Ooohhhh head spins" she mumbled as she walked closer towards the arguing pair.

"People in England are covering their ears because of you two, yous are like an old married couple" she said leaning up upon a palm tree a few metres away from the two. They stopped their bickering and turned to her.

"I'm sorry Sam, It's just he's so…so infuriating……WE ARE CERTAINLY NOT" she said throwing her hands up in the air. Jack just continued to look for his rum.

"Lizzy, you are getting too wound up over stuff lately, you need to sit down and have a breather. So what if Jack's past is a lie or if he spent most of the time drinking rum instead of getting of this island, it doesn't matter, don't dwell on the past, especially if its not your own past, look into the future, just chill" Elizabeth stared at Sam, the only time when Sam got all noble was when something was really bothering her.

"You're right Sam, I am sorry" She said hanging her head in defeat

"Don't apologise to me Liz, if you have to apologise to anyone, apologise to Jack" Sam said gesturing towards Jack who had emerged with 5 bottles of rum and a piece of cloth.

"Jack, I'm sorry for the way I acted" Elizabeth said turning towards Jack.

"No worries, Luv. I'm used to getting me head bitten off." He smiled and passed them a bottle of rum each.

"Hmmmm" Sam looked warily at the bottle in her hand,

"Don't worry, most of that's going on ye arm" Jack said with a smile.

"Oh yay" Sam mumbled she said as Jack helped her over to a sand-bank close by.

"Right, now, ye sit ere, and 'Lizabeth ye 'old er legs. Now this is gonna sting a little bit, so don't hurt me if it does, I've given you ample warning" Jack said pouring the rum on the cloth in his hand. "Now hold still" Jack leaned forward and gently placed the cloth over her wound, a hiss of pain escaped from her lips as she struggled to get away.

"Stop, OW, It Bloody Hurts. Get Off!" Sam screamed struggling under the combined weight of Jack and Elizabeth. Jack applied some more rum on the cloth and pressed down on the wound again. This time though she managed to throw both of them off into a bundle 2 feet away.

"Bloody 'ell Women, What's gotten into ye head" Jack yelled at Sam who was now clutching her shoulder.

"Do you know how much that hurts?" She yelled back at him standing up and looking him in the face.

"Yeah I do actually" Jack Said rolling back his sleaves showing the vein like scars protruding from his forearm and pulling aside the front of his shirt and showing two bullet wounds. "I know, more than you know"  

"Oh Jack, I am so sorry" Sam said covering her mouth in shock; Elizabeth was also doing the same.

"It's alright, Luv, ye weren't to know. Old stuff, just made me play things closer to the vest now. Don't fret about it" Jack said dismissing it with a wave of his hand. "Look ye wound's starting to heal already, should be back to normal in 'bout a week or so"

"Yeah, feels better. Thanks for all your help" Sam said with a smile.

"Well that's different. No one's ever said thanks to me before!" Exclaimed Jack with a laugh. "I like you"

"Well that's good cause I like ya too" She laughed back, Elizabeth, meanwhile, was just standing there still with the look of horror on her face from all the showing of scars.

"Well I'm sorry I don't have any war wounds to share with you two, and how can you change the subject so quickly?" Elizabeth said shakily. Sam turned to her with a certain look in her eyes. "Don't you DARE" Elizabeth shouted shaking a finger at Sam who was approaching her.

 "Get away from me!" Squealed Elizabeth who turned to make a get away but Sam was too quick, she jumped and tackled Elizabeth around the legs causing them to both roll down the small incline that was the sand bar and end up near the water.

"HAHAHAHAHA……ow" Sam laughed as she pulled her self up, ignoring the throbbing in her arm, and started to tickle Elizabeth insanely "Do you give? Who's the greatest? C'mon who's your best bud in the entire universe? Huh? …well what's your answer? Huh what's that I can't hear you?" 

Between gasps of laughter Elizabeth managed to persuade Sam to get off her and attack Jack. Sam raced after Jack as they ran around the whole island, which wasn't very big, the yelling and screaming didn't stop until Jack collapsed and was then attacked by Sam, who proceeded to tickle him until he started to cry. (Laughter tears). They lay there for awhile until they realised that they were on the other side of the island.

"Looks like we're all alone" Jack said as he propped himself up on one arm and looked down at Sam who was lying next to him.

"It would seem that way" she said smiling back up at him.

"Ye know luv, you're a very hard person to get close to." He smiled down at her.

"Yeah, but only sometimes, most of the time I'm VERY easy to get to get close too" She said trailing a finger up his arm. He grinned down at her and she smiled back at him, something was brewing here between them, they could both feel it, something very strong. They watched each other for a few moments until Jack leaned down, he moved in close enough so that Sam could feel his warm breath on her lips and his beads tickling her cheek. She closed her eyes and waited…but nothing came, she opened her eyes and found that Jack was starting to stand up.

 "Um, Elizabeth would be wonderin' where ye are" He said giving a surprised Sam a hand up. She looked at him as he started to walk off towards the rock pools.

"Jack?" she yelled after him. He stoped and turned around; he seemed to study her for a moment before he turned around and continued towards the rock pools leaving a very confused Sam behind.

**********************************************************************************************

"Now why the hell did I do that?" Jack asked himself as he sat down on the edge of a rock pool looking at the tiny fish that swam around in it.

"I've never turned down a woman before, why now?" He watched the fish swim around his feet.

"_Because you really like her that's why" _

"Who said that?" Jack said standing up and looking around trying to pin point the location of the voice.

"_I did" Said a little angel that looked like Jack in all noble cloths with wings and a halo. He appeared on Jack's Left shoulder with a small puff of smoke._

"Oh and who are you?" Jack said spinning around even faster.

"_I am shoulder angel __Jack__" _

**_"And I'm shoulder devil…Call me Bruce"_ Said a little devil version of Jack, who looked exactly like Jack except with horns and a tail, who also popped out of nowhere on Jack's right shoulder.**

_"You are not __Bruce__, you are shoulder devil _Jack___" the little angel yelled at the little devil._

**_"But I like the name _****_Bruce_****_" _The devil pouted.**

"I'm going bloody insane already" Jack muttered shaking his head and sitting down.

"_No you're not, we have been told to help you" said Angel Jack as he settled on Jack's knee.___

**_"Yeah, by the almighty Banana" _Devil Jack said standing on his other knee.**

"The almighty Banana?" Jack asked with wide eyes.

_"He is not a banana, we've been over this, and he… is… god, NOT A BANANA!" A.J (Angel Jack) yelled at D.J (Devil Jack) who was doing handstands on Jack's Knee._

"Oye, you're ere for a reason, Aye?" Jack said over the two arguing figures.

"_Yes, we're here to help you with your life." A.J said turning to Jack. __"The girl, __Sam__, you can't bring yourself to do anything to her can you?"_

"Uhh No, I guess I can't" Jack said looking at the angel thoughtfully "How do you know?"

**_"We know EVERYTHING" _D.J yelled pointing to Jack ****_"EVERYTHING" _**

"Uh huh, so how are you gonna help me?" Jack looked questionably at the two figments on his knees.

_"First we will give you our opinions on the situation and then you have to figure out what to do yourself" A.J said_

"Don't seem like much help" Jack pointed out

"_Yeah well, we're not allowed to really interfere" A.J answered __"Ok here's what I think. You can't bring yourself to treat her like you treat every other women, I reckon you've fallen for her because she didn't give into your charms, the first time round like every other women you've met" Jack was nodding thoughtfully listening to what he said _"You have to think about your feelings and your priorities and get them into order first" _The little angel sat back._

"Uh huh, right" Jack sat there still a little confused "I guess its yer turn now?" 

**_"You bet, right, now, I reckon you're a eunuch. End of story" _He sat back and looked at Jack's face turn from surprise to anger.**

"I AM NOT A EUNUCH!!!" Jack yelled; he was pretty sure the girls heard that.

**_"Alright, alright…ok hows bouts this then you don't want to get too close to her cause you fear commitment, or your gay…or you worry that she'll do to you what you do to women"_ D.J smiled at Jack **_"Either that or you're a eunuch" _**D.J laughed as Jack lunged at the at him but disappeared just as Jack landed getting a face full of water.**

_"He's an annoying one for sure. I hope that helps you." And with that A.J disappeared into a small puff of mist._

"I am definitely going nuts" he said shaking his head as he sat back down on the edge of the rock pool and tried to figure out the problem that was effecting him.

*********************************************Meanwhile****************************************************

Sam was walking back to where Elizabeth sat and threw herself down beside her.

"Ow, I've gotta stop doing that" Sam sighed "Elizabeth, am I undesirable?" 

"What? ... How would I know? ...Why?" Elizabeth answered quite shocked by the suddenness of the question.

"Well before, umm, Jack and I were on the other side of the island and we almost kissed but HE pulled away. I mean, I've heard all the stories about him, being a womaniser and all, and I know its true cause of a friend in Tortuga "Met" him…" Elizabeth interrupted her.

"What friend?" She asked curiously

"You remember Amanda right? Amanda Druppen, her father was an ex-commodore and very strict with her so she ran away to Tortuga" She answered laying back.

"Amanda Druppen? Everyone was looking for her, they even asked you and you didn't tell them where she was? They said she was kidnapped by pirates"

"She wasn't kidnapped, she hitched a ride on a merchant ship, and I didn't tell because I was her friend and she trusted me not to tell. Besides it was fun torturing Nozza the whole time, running up to his house in the middle of the night and going 'I think I remember something…oh wait no, I don't' …ahhhh the good ole days" Sam said with a laugh.

"It is Commodore Norrington not Nozza and we've gotten off the subject" Elizabeth sighed

"Mmmmm I don't know, is there something wrong with me, or him? And if it's me, then what's wrong? Am I" She gasps "Ugly?"

"Oh Sam, there is nothing wrong with you, obviously if HE walked away then there is something wrong with him, and you are not ugly, you are one of the most wanted women in all of Port Royal, you know that" she said taking her hand.

"Mmmmm really shwap-sh-ya ooohhhh Wonderful" she said in a heavy British accent.

"What?" Elizabeth asked giggling

"Nothin, ooohhhh I hope things aren't going to be uncomfortable now" she sighed

"I AM NOT A EUNUCH!" they turned towards Jack's raised voice.

"I think he's losing it" Sam laughed

"I think he's already lost it" Elizabeth laughed, and with that they fell into a fit of laughter.

"Uhh I needed a good laugh" Sam said rolling on her stomach and letting the sun toast her back. 

"Sam?"

"Mmmmm"

"Do you think Will is going to be ok?" Elizabeth started to draw hearts in the sand, Sam saw this and smiled.

"You're Love struck, my dear Lizzy. Will can deal; I know he can get out of this just like he gets out of everything, just like the explosion. You didn't think he'd make it out of that and he did" Sam smiled at Elizabeth.

"Why did you yell 'Remember the Fish' at him when that happened?" She asked not looking up but starting to draw fish.

"We'll me and Willie we fishing one day and we kept the fish in this old cloth bag we found, the fish were still alive because we kept the bag in the water, anyway, when we went to get the fish, they were all gone apparently there was a hole in the bag under a piece of wood, that was already in the bag, and the fish moved the wood and managed to escape. Yeah, basically I was telling Will to look for the hole where the water was coming in" 

"Wow, that's really smart…hmmm what's that over there, I'd better go see" Elizabeth said looking into the small undergrowth, and soon disappearing into it.

"LIZZY, ELIZABETH SWANN WHAT IS GOING …on" Sam yelled but stopped when she saw Jack looking down at her.

"I think we need to have a little chat" Jack said.

"Wow, this must have been the shortest relationship I've ever ……hang on what?" she said sitting up as Jack sat next to her.

"I've been thinking…" Jack started

"Did it hurt?" Sam smiled Jack grinned back but it didn't last long.

"…and I've decided that…" he tried again

"That you're not a eunuch?" Jack looked at her "We heard you all the way down here"

"Ahhh, ok, well, the reason for before was I didn't want to hurt you." 

"How would you hurt me…ooohhhh" Sam said thoughtfully

"Yeah so I think that it's…" Jack didn't finish because Sam had thrown herself at him and knocked him to the ground.

"Jack…Shut up" and with that Sam lent down and kissed him passionately until he responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and caressing her back.

They laid there for a few hours kissing and embracing each other, until they heard Elizabeth yelling

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING I AM SO BORED PLEASE JUST STOP AND LET ME COME BACK!!" Sam and Jack looked at each other and smiled.

"Alright Lizzy, you can come out now." Sam said rolling off Jack and lying next to him. Elizabeth cam out from the other side of the bush and sat near them.

"I see you made up" Elizabeth smiled looking at the pair; Jack had his arm around Sam and she was snuggled up against him. They sat there for a while just talking about all kinds of things when Jack noticed her tattoo.

"'Ello, what do we 'ave 'ere," he said tracing it with his finger.

"That's my tattoo; I got it about ooohhhh 5 years ago now. Really annoyed Will too" Sam laughed.

"Ye are nothing like him are ye?" he said looking at her face, she smiled back.

"Nope, completely different, but in a good way" Elizabeth laughed "Not that I'm surprised"

"Ye don't look like each other either" Jack said "what's the deal there if ye are brother and sister?"

"Well, My full name is Samantha Rhapsody Haste Turner, my father was a country man from England, he left when he found out that Mama was pregnant with me, bastard, Mama never told me but I knew I was an accident anyway that's when we left for the seaside, Mama said she couldn't handle the country anymore. When I was about 1 Mama met William Turner, or as I called him Papa." Sam sighed and continued, "They had Will when I was 2 and Papa left soon after but he had to leave because his ship had comeback into port and he had to be on it when it left. Mama let him go because she knew he could never really leave the sea, she just hoped that he would come back one day. We stayed with Mama until she got sick, we are not sure how she got sick but about a year later, she died. Will decided that we should find Papa so he booked us passage to Port Royal, but I managed to miss the ship Will was on because I, umm, had to say goodbye to some of my friends, anyway. I managed to find a ship heading that way and I convinced them that I was, hehehe, the Governor's Daughter and he was waiting for me in Port Royal. So yeah that's my story"  

"Uh huh" Jack looked a bit stunned and Elizabeth just smile and said.

"That's the short version"

"Shut up" laughed Sam chucking a piece of seaweed at her.

"I though so" Jack finally said.

"What, you though of all that, Wow you really are smart," Laughed a slightly shocked Sam

"No I mean I knew ye weren't blood related" Smiled Jack

"But we are; our mother's were the same" Sam said

"No I mean…ahhhh" Jack started to tickle her instead of finishing the sentence. This went on for a few a while before they had sand chucked on them by Elizabeth.

"You two" She laughed

"Ok so now that I know ye whole story, why do ye keep yelling all these languages?" he asked kissing her cheek.

"Oh well I learnt them in school, which dear Lizzy made me and Will attend, and various people I've met along the way have taught me bits and pieces …actually I'm not sure why I yell them, I guess they come naturally to me and I just slip into them when I'm angry" She smiled back

"Ahhh" 

"It's so beautiful here, mmmmm, I could stay here forever, it's so peaceful" sighed Sam.

"Welcome to the Caribbean Luv" he murmured in her ear.

**********************************************************************************************************

"We're devils and black sheep and really bad eggs. Drink up me 'earties yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me" They all sang as they stumbled around the fire. Sam was going one way while the other two were going the other, all night they had been sitting around drinking until Sam had started to sing and as she started to sing so did Elizabeth and as soon as Jack had gotten his head around the words he too joined in, they weren't sure who's idea it was to start the fire but here they were running around it like a tribal dance.

"I love this song! Really bad eggs! Ooh." Jack said as he fell down pulling Sam down with him, she lay across his lap as he continued to talk.

"When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time!" Sam started to giggle, as Elizabeth fell next to them.

"Whatchya laughing at" he said as he started to tickle her, and she squirmed in his arms.

"Jack …it must be really terrible for you to be trapped on this island." Elizabeth said holding out her bottle of rum to point out the surroundings.

"Oh, yes" He said picking Sam up in a hug "But the company is infinitely better than last time, I think. The scenery has definitely improved, Whatchya reckon luv?" he asked Sam

"Hmmm, oh yeah, definitely, and why wouldn't it have improved, I am HERE! And I am here to have a good time" She said standing up to make her point.

"I know exactly what you mean, love." He grabbed her and pulled her down where she started to play with his moustache, curling it up at the sides, this caused her and Elizabeth to fall about with laughter.

"To US" yelled Sam giving a toast.

"To FREEDOM" Yelled Elizabeth clinking her bottle with Sam's.

"To the _Black __Pearl__" Jack said finally clinking his bottle, he and Sam drank theirs down, but Elizabeth didn't. _

Sam and Jack were too busy with each other to notice Elizabeth restocking the fire with more wood and rum. 

"I hope ye neva change" Jack crooned in her ear as he held her.

"Neither do I" she smiled up at him and enveloped him in a kiss.

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

There ya go, a nice llllooonnnggggg one that took me AGES to write, that's about 3,000 words ya know. YAAAAYYY they finally got together!!!!! Ahhhh but will it last? I dunno, maybe probably, eh depends on me mood.

_OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW_

AHHH MONSTER……on its only you Elladen, What's wrong?

_It hurts, worse than a poisoned arrow, from the depths of Mordor._

Ow that must really hurt, its only 1st degree burns, don't fret, I'll put some moisturiser on there, go it to the bathroom and get the big pink bottle tube thingy.

_AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH JACK POKED MY SUNBURN_

Jack don't poke Elrohir, you wouldn't like it.

_Maybe… if you poked me_

Maybe later, where is Legolas?

_He went with Elladen, they went to the bathroom._

**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_**

Holy Crap what was that? *Runs into the bathroom to find Legolas on the floor in pain and Elladen holding a bottle tubey thingy and shaking his hand* what have you done give me that. *takes the tube and reads – Dencorub (For all those who don't know, it is a sports cream that helps injuries but going on like a cream but heating up very quickly and becoming VERY hot AKA a heat rub) DID YOU PUT THIS ON???

**_YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS HOLY CRAP _****_HEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP_********_MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE_**

Quick get into the spa-bath *helps them into the bath and starts the water* rub it off using the water.

**_~*5 Minutes Later*~_**

Well that was interesting, I have to go and help them, and I get to put moisturiser on them, hehehe, as soon as they are done getting the Dencorub off. Man that must suck, I mean that hurts heaps even without the sunburn.

_So what was wrong with them?_

AH…oh Jack you scared me… oh they put heat cream on instead of moisturiser.

_Ahhh I suppose that hurts._

Very much, it's like putting hot coals on your eyes

_Mmmmm sounds very painful, could you maybe…get rid of it…just in case I accidentally go in there one night…when I'm slightly …drunk_

O.K. I'll put it away *thinks* but just remember that I have that next time any of you decides to attack me again.

_Aye and I'll tell the prissy ones as well_

They are not prissy………maybe just a little

*in the background* _It's all off, please help us_

Alright Legolas I'll be there in a second 

*cries in the background* _Hurry_

Silly elves

_How come Jack's not burnt?_

Because he is used to the sun, Elrohir

_Yeah I don't have prissy skin *Elrohir chucks a book at Jack* _

Hey watch the books, they are expensive.

_He called me prissy_

No he called you …pretty

_Oh alright then *walks off*_

If he wasn't brown haired he'd make a great blonde.

_I did not call him PRETTY_

Did you want to be killed *Jack shakes head* didn't think so

*Cries in background* _it's starting to burn again _

Ahhhh, I gotta go, my elves need me.


	18. After you, Milady

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.**

MMMMM apples, I like apples *starts to quote Barbossa* you know the first thing I'm goin' to do after the curse is lifted? Eat a whole bushel of apples.

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ Having fun, fun, fun, in the sun, and Sam got hot giving Jack a big ole snog. **

 ~***Final Line***~** - **"_Neither do I" she smiled up at him and enveloped him in a kiss._

**Ok so my spelling SUX!! but there might be a language thingy going on, me being Australian and you… all being form other countries, so I might be writing the right in my tongue but writing wrong in your tongue. But if that is not the reason I will go and fix it all up just to make you all happy, so tell me where and I'll fix it. Okey Dokey Pokey!?!**

**To my wonderful reviewers**

**Dimonah Tralon -  Thanks, I think the sun-burns has worn off now, bugger no more moisturising the elves, I suppose I could tell them that it they still need the moisturised or their skin will peal…which is true.**

**Serilia – Yeah, I know, I just had a look at it and it is very long…I am proud, I was having second thoughts about the angels, but I thought do I really care… and the answer was NO, so there they are and there they will stay. Wow was it that good. YAY …hmm I rhymed. **

**Cecilia Gray – Hyper is good! I know my spelling sucks, *please see the bold writing at top of page*, when I write my mind does this thing…I'm not sure what it is but I don't think and the words just type themselves…too bad my fingers don't know how to spell…oh well as long as you know what I'm saying. Yay I'm glad you've confirmed my thought because I really want to do a sequel, because I think I have an ending already for this one and the sequel will be needed besides I think the other will be fun to write because I can make it up as I got and not sort of stick to a story line. **

**Lightning Rain – Yes, there had to be romance, I kinda promised it. WOW really, man they have got their connections don't they?  Yeah I luv that website, its on the top of my list in my favourites in the ORLANDO BLOOM folder…hehehe, when FFN doesn't work then I go to my trusty OB websites. WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GET CHOCOLATE *starts to wack the elves and Jack away with a stick* no mine, mine. IT'S ALLLLLLL MMMMIIIINNNNEEE MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!  *cough, cough* um sorry, chocolate has that effect on me *Smiles***

**Sugaricing – OK, OK, OK…MY SPELLING ****SUCKS!! *please see the bold writing at top of page* AJ and DJ are coming back, I'll make sure of that, Jack kinda needs all the help he can get, sure you can help give them a bath _Give who a bath_ ummm…uhh…You _NO ONE IS GIVING US A BATH, STOP SELLING US TO PEOPLE _hehehe *emphasises words* Oh…it…looks…like…you…can't *in a whisper* yes you can *Legolas hits the back of her head* alright that's it, where's the Dencorub? You're in trouble now.**

**Amanda – Really? Wow I was trying to make them as less noticeable, apparently it didn't work…hmm…oh well, and at least only you saw us and not some psycho fan girls *checks cupboards* yep it's still safe. Hmmm massages huh…yes um *shouts to elves* YOU NEED TO HAVE SOME MASSAGES TO GET RID OF THE SUNBURN FULLY, hehehe Top idea! Sure why not, you can have the fling with Jack, if it makes you happy; I am only here to please.**

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – Well since there are cherries involved, here ya go.**

 **BRITNEY MURPHY TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!** Ok so it was a dream and she_ WAS a zombie (i.e. like the girl in 'The Ring') but I thought it was sssssssoooooo funny. She chased me through this huge mansion chucking flat fat mice at me…I'm not kidding it was an actual dream. I think it is hilarious…although I'm not that right in the head apparently…at least that's what people say, I mean just because you're rolling around on the ground with laughter during 'The Ring' and almost pissing yourself with laughter while watching ' The Exorcist' it doesn't mean your insane…does it?  ...*crickets*…anyone? …* tumble weed goes by* FINE, I must be insane then!!_

_You're insane_

I just said that Leggy, didn't ya hear me?

_I just wanted to emphasise it_

Shuddup …hmm…what's that dear Leggy? *points to shoulder* it looks like you are peeling.

*looks at his shoulder* _AAAAHHHHHH my poor skin, what's happened? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? *points at AUS*_

I ain't done nothin, that's what ya get from being in the sun, don't worry I can fix it *gets out moisturiser* this will fix everything, just a little massage with this for about…ooohhhh…*smiles* 6 months and you should be alright

_6 months!_

Yes …sorry but unless you WANT your skin to fall off I suggest you let me do what has to be done…now strip off to your jocks

_JOCKS?_

How do you say……undergarments? 

_Is that entirely necessary?   _

Legolas, I am only trying to help you, don't you trust me? *gives puppy dog look* 

_Very well *Walks away taking off his shirt*_

*smiles at rabid fan girls* Ner, ner, ner, ner…I get to *smiles menacingly and emphasising EVERY word* rub…him…**all**…over

BYE ALL and here's your update…Guess what I made up a song!! It will be posted in my next fan fic, the song is called…dun, dun, DUN…Leggy's bum Song. Here's a little taste.

_Ooohhhh leggy's bum is so firm,_

_It's so hot it makes me burn._

But no more until I write the story, which will be quite soon I imagine… actually I've gotta think up a tune for it to go to. 

_Are you coming? _

*smiles and yells in a sing song voice* coming!!! 

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

The morning sun blazed down on Jack's face, but that was not what woke the sleeping pirate, the sound of arguing and the smell of smoke made him wake up groggily.

"Let go, Liz, drop it"

"No, give it here, Sam I'll chuck you in the fire with it if you're not careful"

"Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you try"

Jack sat up and came face to face with a very interesting scene. Half the island was on fire and Sam was trying to pull a barrel out of Elizabeth's arms.  

_'Hmmm I know that smell, smells like that time my clothes caught on fire because of that stupid bartender who knocked over the candle just after I knocked over my rum………………Hmmm Fire………+ Rum…………=………AAAAHHHHHH' _

_"No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade! The rum!" Jack shouted running over to the pair, who had stopped their arguing now to watch the pirate stagger/run over to them. ****_

"Yes, the rum is gone" Elizabeth Said yanking the barrel out of Sam's hands and chucking it into the fire.

"Why is the rum gone?" He asked once again.

"Because she's BLOODY INSANE!" Sam shouted, taking a bottle out of the crate that was about to be thrown in to the growing fire.****

"No, I am not insane; the reasons are: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for us, do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?"

"I wouldn't really say they are looking for both of us, they might be looking for you. I don't think Nozza really cares if I die or not" Sam said walking towards the other end of the island away from the growing heat of the fire.

Jack watched her go and turned back to Elizabeth "But why is the rum gone?" 

"Just wait, Captain Sparrow. You give it one hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye out and then you will see white sails on that horizon." Elizabeth said sitting down on a small sand bar. Jack got his pistol out when he heard a *POP* he noticed a certain little figure (D.J) sitting upon his shoulder.

**_"Do it, we don't need her. She is nothing but trouble. Just say your finger slipped. Then you get to comfort Sam afterwards and you will be all aallloonnneee"_**

Another little *POP* sounded and he saw the new figure (A.J) start to hit D.J with a rolled up newspaper.

"_Stop that, Jack ignore him, he isn't on his medication.*hits D.J after every word* _Get...Back...In...His...Head....Right...Now!" _a slightly louder *POP* sounded and they were both gone. Jack put his pistol back and stalked off imitating Elizabeth._

"'Must've been terrible for you to be trapped here, Jack; must've been terrible for you.' Well it bloody is now!" he didn't notice Sam until he walked past and heard her call out to him. 

"You do a wonderful Liz, but you need to sound more……umm……prissy" he stopped and turned around. 

"Really?" he asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, she doesn't sound as ruggedly handsome as you make out" she laughed; Jack turned and looked out to sea spotting _The Dauntless_ and the small boat slowly rowing to shore.

"Yep, the Uptights shall be here, in about ooohhhh 20 minutes" She took a swing of rum and patted the ground next to her. Jack made his way over and sat down putting an arm around her waist and started kissing her neck.

"I wonder what they would say if they found us in this position" she giggled.

"Who cares" Jack said taking the rum from her hand and taking a big swig.

"Not me, Careful that may be the last bottle of rum you get in a while. And since I am such a gentle soul, *GAG* I will allow you to have the rest of the bottle" Sam lay back on the sand enjoying the sun.

"Thanks Luv" he said taking a slightly smaller swig then turning to her and asked "How come she ain't crying bout losing Will…actually how come ye ain't either?" 

Sam turned to him with a smile and said "She doesn't cry because she's got some big plan or something and I don't because I know EVERYTHING"

"Whatchya Mean?" he asked with a quizzical look.

"Well, I have decided that I am psychic." She said with a defiant nod and lay back down.

"OK, no more rum for ye" Jack laughed.

"Hey I'm not the one who talks to himself" she said closing her eyes with a smile tugging at her lips.

"What? I don't talk to me self" Jack defended.

"Oh really?" She asked opening one eye and cocking and eyebrow. "I AM NOT A EUNUCH" She yelled.

"Indeed you are not" Said a voice from behind them.

"AHHHH GHOSTS" Sam screamed jumping up. Jack looked at her with amusement.

"Ye'll fight demon skeleton pirates but ye are afraid of ghosts?" he laughed.

"It's not funny, ghosts can't die" she defended

"Neither can demon skeleton pirates" Jack pointed out.

"EXCUSE ME" the voice yelled. Sam turned and found the owner of the voice behind her.

"What? …… Oh…uhh…Heya Commodore. Fancy seeing you here" Sam smiled sweetly. Norrington merely looked at the two with a quizzical expression.

"Where is Miss Swann?" He asked.

"Oh I am fine and how are you this fine day?" Sam responded with a smile.

"I am fine…Where is Miss Swann?" Norrington sighed, starting to get irritable.

"Hmmm Jack do you know where _Miss Swann_ is?"  Sam smiled at Jack who was now standing next to her.

"I have no idea" He gave a sly smile as he watched Norrington's eye start to twitch.

"Hmmm she may be over at the giant fire; then again she may also be _in _the giant fire." She again smiled sweetly at Norrington who looked like he was about to wallop them with his enormous hat.

"Men, please escort _Miss Turner and __Captain Sparrow to the boats and make sure they stay there. You men come with me" Norrington ordered._

"What aren't you going to escort us, commodore?" Sam blinked at him as he started to turn and walk towards the growing fire. 

"No" he sighed "I think my men are quite able to escort you two" and with that he strutted off in the other direction. 

"Hehehe poonce" Sam giggled as she walked over next to Jack who was standing next to the boat.

"After you_, milady" Jack said in a stretched noble voice, gesturing towards the boat and offering her a hand_

"Why thankyou kind _sir" She said also talking with proper language, taking his hand and hopping into the boat._

"Oh no, no, no this will not do, these seats are much too hard. _Captain_ may I please sit on your lap, these seats, they are just too hard, they hurt my behind"  

"Why of course, _milady" He said with a sly smile "T'would be an honour" With that Sam sat down in his lap and Jack wrapped his arms around her waist. The crewmen in the meantime were watching the scene unfold with confused expressions._

"Mmmmm that is _Much Better" she murmured. They sat that way for about 5 minutes, until they heard a disgusted grunt followed by an amused voice._

"You two" Elizabeth sighed getting into the boat and sitting across from them. Jack looked at her with an amused glance,

"The seat hurt my bottom, Lizzy, this was the only other option" Sam smiled; Elizabeth only laughed as they started to row towards _The Dauntless_.

***********************************************************************************************

 They boarded the ship easily enough, but once they were all aboard the ship a familiar screech filled the air.

"ELIZABETH" they turned and saw Gov. Swann come blundering over to them and envelop Elizabeth in a bone crushing hug. 

"I thought we lost you" he said into her hair, Sam noticed that Elizabeth was now turning a nice shade of purple.

"Oh Lizzy, purple doesn't suit you" Sam said looking at her face then looking at Gov. Swann "Uh sir, I do believe that she does need to breath"

"What are you talking about?" He asked still not letting go of Elizabeth who was now turning blue.

"Well, it looks like Elizabeth, dear, has a corset on her face" she said pointing to Elizabeth; the Gov. looked down at his daughter in alarm.

"Oh my dear I am so sorry" he said letting go.

"Tis…quite…alright" Elizabeth gasped, and mouthed 'thank you' to Sam who was watching this with great amusement.

"Ready the ship, make way for Port Royal" Norrington shouted the orders to his men. Sam saw Elizabeth's face drop as she turned to Sam.   
Sam gave her a sad smile and mouthed 'it will be ok' Elizabeth shook her head and charged after Norrington. Sam shook her head and looked around for Jack who had been pulled away by two guards; she noticed that Gillette was staring at her.

"What!"  She shouted putting her hands on her hips. Gillette jumped a little and looked away. Sam walked over to where Elizabeth and Norrington.  

"But we've got to save Will" Elizabeth said walking after Norrington, Sam noticed Jack standing between the two guards; he wasn't paying any attention to what was going on around him. Sam watched him while the others argued, He reminded her of a little child that was being punished and was proud of what he'd done. Jack caught her eye and they shared a smile, Sam gave Jack a look as if to say 'Well-aren't-you-going-help-her?' and he nodded and stepped forward.

"If I may be so bold as to inject my professional opinion; The _Pearl_ was listing near to scuppers after the battle. It's very unlikely she'll be able to make good time. Think about it. The _Black Pearl_. The last real pirate threat in the Caribbean, mate. How can you pass that up?" Jack said sidling up and nudging Norrington.

"By remembering that I serve others, Mr. Sparrow, not only myself." Norrington said dismissing him and continued to walk up the stairs.

"Well ain't you just the most unselfish 'man' I've ever seen" Sam cooed sarcastically, Norrington gave her a strange stare and started to yell at her but Elizabeth interrupted before he could say anything. 

"Commodore, I beg you, please do this. For me. As a wedding gift" She said stepping between them.

"WHAT!" Sam screamed clutching Elizabeth's arm.

"Elizabeth. Are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?" Gov. Swann asked.

"I am" She whispered, Norrington looked quite shocked but still didn't even smile.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, SAY IT ISN'T TRUE" Sam screamed crumbling to the ground, in a fit of giggles.

"A wedding! I love weddings…drinks all around!" Jack said as he slapped the guard's chest

"Not helping Jack" Sam said looking up at him with a grin. Jack returned the grin and looked up only to find Norrington looking sternly at him.

 "I know. "Clap him in irons," right?" Jack said extending his arms, making Sam laugh even more. Norrington looked at her in disgust and said to Jack

"Mr. Sparrow, you will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to Isla de Muerta. You will then spend the rest of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase "silent as the grave." Do I make myself clear?"

"Inescapably clear" He smiled as he was dragged away.

"Elizabeth…" Norrington looked at her and noticed that she was in her underclothes. "Please put this on" he said handing her his red coat, while she was putting this on he turned to Sam.

"And you…" he started

"Oh and what about me?" Sam asked with a smile playing at her lips, she stood up and looked him in the eye.

"You are the rudest young lady I have ever met…blah…blah…blah" Norrington set in for a long talk that Sam had already memorised from all the other talks that he had given her dating all the way back to the day when she "Accidentally" set his wig on fire. She had zoned out completely and it wasn't until Elizabeth started to poke her that she woke up.

"Huh where am I? When did you turn into a sailor?" Sam asked Elizabeth pointing to her coat.

"Oh Sam, you will never learn will you" Elizabeth sighed.

 Sam gave her a cheeky grin. "Depends on what I'm learning, Dear Lizzy and anything coming from Ole Nozza there isn't worth learning" she laughed and turned to find Gillette staring at her again.

"What the Hell are you looking at? Does something strike ya fancy?" Sam asked walking up to him.

"Well…" Gillette started but stopped as if to think about what the consequences of his words might be.

"Well…spit it out" Sam said standing there with her hands on her hips

"You look quite nice that's all" Gillette said looking her up and down

"Hmmm really, the sea drenched look and sand in my hair must be such a turn on. Not to mention smelling quite bad." He looked at her and smiled

"Quite" he said.

"Grrrr" Sam turned around and marched off to find someone to talk to. Life was going so great, her brother was about to be killed by mega scary pirates, her best friend was about to marry a knob instead of her brother and now the most annoying person she ever met was cracking onto her.

"This is all bloody Will's fault" she yelled into the night air.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well kiddies, is that a good enough dose so sooth your cravings. And for any who want to know, Legolas has 3 war wounds, Elladen has 5 (but he says that 3 are from pranks gone wrong) and Elrohir has 3 (Which are also apparently from pranks gone wrong). Hehehehehe they are also COVERED in muscles…*drools and goes into a coma like state*

_What's wrong with her Legolas?_

_I don't know, Elladen. But I think she needs something._

_I know lets give her that bag of sweet things we found, you know the ones that said 'Pixie Stix*__'_

_Are we aloud, I mean they were hidden away._

_Who cares, who's gonna get us into trouble, Jack? I highly doubt that he is capable of anything that doesn't involve rum__._

_That is true. Get Elladen and the bag. *Elrohir runs down corridor and comes back with a large bag and Elladen*_

**_What are we doing?_**

_We are going to fix her, with these *Holds up Pixie Stix* _

**_Ahhh, ok, what will happen when we do so?_**

_We are not sure_

**_Ye all gonna get into trouble if ye do that_**

_No one asked you Jack. Come on, give it to her *they pour a Pixie Stix in to her mouth, she swallows but nothing happens*_

_Nothing happened_

_Put some more in then. *they continually pour them into her mouth until she snaps out of the trance*_

Oh…opps…hehehe sorry, thanks guys…um what are these? *points to about 15 empty Pixie Stix*

_They helped to wake you up_

Where did you find them?

_Above the cupboard_

*her eyes glaze over* PPPPIIIXXXIIIIEEE SSSSTTTTIIIIXXXXXX, Pixie stix, pixie stix, pixie stix *Starts to dance with Elrohir* 

_What was in those things!_

_*Picks up half empty one and tastes it* __Tastes like that stuff we had the other week, you know suger_

_AHHHH I see  _

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH *grabs bag off Legolas* my pixie stix. GGGGGGRRRRRR

*Elves start to back away* **_Told ye ye'd get into trouble_**

*Spots elves*OOOOOOOHHHHHHH pretty *chases them around*

**_JACK; HELP US!!!! ___**

**_UUUMMMMM NO_**

*spots Jack* MMMMM hotness *chases elves and Jack until they lock her in a room*

_Where's the bag?_

_Oh NO she must have it *they all look at the door as a sound erupts from the other side*_

MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHA

*PIXIE STIX – plastic tubes that are full of different kinds of suger eg strawberry, banana, cherry, etc. I am very in love with pixie stix but unfortunately they tend to give me this kinda suger rush.


	19. falling

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.  
**………………………………………………………I got NUTHIN!!!!!!

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ Elizabeth went mental and burnt all the rum, A.J and D.J made a reappearance, Gillette hit on Sam and AAAAHHHHHH NOZZA IS BACK.**

 ~***Final Line***~** - **"This is all bloody Will's fault" she yelled into the sea air.

**To My Wonderful Reviewers**

**Lotrseer3350 – Hehehe, you kinda rhymed. I think, ok maybe in my mind you did, hehehe, glad you like it.**

**Evenescent Dreams - *Runs around the room showing the review to elves and Jack* HAHAHA you all said I wasn't funny, but people who aren't you do, here's proof, mmmwwwaaahhahahahaha, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH PIXIE STIX HEHEHEHEHE all mine yay. I gave the pressies to Jack and he sends luv and kisses _NO I BLOODY WELL DON'T _Yes you bloody well do, and he has your pic in his room…whether he likes it or not, actually he started to cry when he saw the ship _I DID NOT, it's nothing to be ashamed of Jack, and he has already finished off his rum and Elladen wishes to say something, but it's in Elvish and my computer doesn't have it so I told him to say it in English  
_Thankyou Very much Bianca, I will cherish this gift of artistic talent for the rest of my life. Legolas and Elrohir are mighty jealous of you gift and I'm glad you think I'm handsome.  
_Yeah, yeah, she gets the drift…show-off…anyhow I have to go and pry that ship out of Jack's hands before he breaks it, hehehe silly pirate._**

**Sweet A.K – I actually thought of something myself…sort of…that was funny, no one can stop me now, I AM THE QUEEN*goes all scary like Galadriel* MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA In the place of a Dark Lord, you would have a QUEEN! NOT DARK, BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR. *Cough* hmmm err sorry, got a bit excited, Yeah she gets to bug Nozza for 2 whole days, I've decided. And there had to be some new scary guy to hit on her, you know everyone wants to see a protective Jack, and you will, and I hope it will be good. Oh I know how hard it is to keep them under control, try having 4! Its complete madness around here sometimes…hehehe…but see your crew is getting along now aren't they and it's good, I mean it could be worse, they could be trying to push each other off the roof…*gets strange looks from passing elf (Elladen or Elrohir I couldn't be bothered figuring out who it is) *…or something…that's right you have to get the best out of every situation that is handed to you. I think I might be a bit blunt here and state something completely obvious but……………………………………  
DON'T LET HIM TRY COFFEE…WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN…and from what you've told me, if Haldir gets hold of that again…*Shudders* who knows what will happen. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE A GREAT REVIEWER**

**Amanda – Actually *looks around sheepishly* that's what happened…but they're not that smart…hehehe they lured me into the room using Pixie Stix, now I have the ENTIRE BAG MMMMMMWWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA…I've been doing that a lot lately, oh well.    **

**Dimonah Tralon – Ooohhhh you were drinking water while reading a fan fic? Don't worry I learnt the hard way too, hehehe I accidentally ruined the laptop…opps.**

**I lOvE cHeRrIeS yUm – OMG I couldn't live if I didn't have lollies *SHUDDERS*, but I do that at my friends' houses as well, but we usually watch foreign movies and then yell the subtitles at the top of our voices, 'tis quite fun I assure you. I wish I could update once a day, but I have to sunbake and get a great tan for school NO MORE Days OF FREEDOM… then I have to shop and celebrate Australia kicking India's BUTTOCKS in cricket, BRETT LEE IS SSSSSSSOOOOOO HOT!!!! Then call my friends and lock the elves in a room so they can behave…hehehe, steal Jack's rum and sell it back to him, and much more and now SCHOOL*CRIES*, so I'll make the following chapts longish ones because there may be a bit of a delay now that schools back *Rocks back and forth* anyway about Gillette…he is weird, plain and simple, apparently he's liked her forever (kinda like Will and Elizabeth) but she's always blown him off every time he's come to talk to her. She isn't that mean but seriously…LOOK AT HIM…don'tchya just wanna slap him, he's like Nozza only worse. Anyway Plz Continue to read this HE-larious story…maybe…ok so it can be KINDA funny I suppose anyway JUST READ…PLEASE  **

You said I wasn't funny, but I am and now I have proof *shows them the reviews*

_These people must be seriously deranged_

*Wacks Legolas with a rolled up newspaper* that…is…not…very…nice…now…apologise!!!

_OK, OK, OK, I'm sorry_

*continues to hit him*I'm…Sorry…Wonderful…Reviewers…of…AUS!!!

_I'm sorry wonderful reviewers of Aus_

Very…good…you…can…go…now! *Legolas runs off clutching his arm* hehehe *Downs another Pixie Stix and looks around menacingly* Here boys *whistles* here good elves (I'm not going to try anything on Jack, he's upset I took his boat… _SHIP… ship, besides the elves are much more fun) come on boys…*searches for the elves*…in the meantime here's an update._

**GO LLEYTON HEWITT and GO THE SCUD WOOOOOOOOWWWWWHHHHHHOOOOOOO **

**GO AUSTRALIA KICK INDIA'S BUTT WOOOOOOOWWWWW**

**HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY**

**AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE…OI, OI, OI, AUSSIE, OI, AUSSIE, OI, AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE, OI, OI, OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   **

I'm not called Aussiesportstar for nuthin ya know. 

BTW THIS WAS WRITTEN OVER A WHOLE WEEK, I should be doing my school work, but I am willing to give that up to write this for you all.

*Cough, Cough* **I SAW LOTR: ROTK!!!!!!!!!! OMG Legolas was sooooooooooooo hot, *drools* he should wear that blue tunic more often … actually I'm going to go and buy him one…right NOW!!!******

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

Sam was walking around the ship (4th lap), this was the only thing she could do to stop boredom-coma creeping over her, she was also trying her best to avoid that creepy Gillette guy, and he actually seemed to be stalking her. That was creepier than the pirates. She reached the bow of the ship and stopped, looking out at the sprawling ocean.

"It's beautiful, isn't it" a voice said behind her.

"Yeah…" she turned around and came face to face with Gillette. "Ahh" she said as she jumped back.

"There is nothing to be afraid about, Miss Turner…may I call you Sam" he asked stepping forward.

"No!" she said stepping to the left to get away from him. "Why are you following me?" she said with her hands on her hips.

"Why? Why do butterflies chase other butterflies? Why do birds dance for one another? And why do men give ladies flowers? " He said raising an eyebrow.

Sam shook her head and asked "You…want me to chase dancing flowers?" Gillette smiled and cupped her chin in his hand, Sam tried to pull away but his grip was hard to break.

"In a matter of speaking" he said leaning in but before he could do anything; a strong hand grabbed his shoulder.

"Do it and it WILL be the last thing ye EVER do" Jack growled and spun Gillette around "Savvy?" 

"And what would you do? Hmm if you lay a hand on me, you would be hung quicker than wet laundry" Sneered Gillette.

"I wouldn't need to lay a hand on ye to make ye pay for even touching her, my blade will do all the touching" Jack spat giving Gillette's shoulder a crushing squeeze before letting him go.

"You won't get away with this, I'll make sure of it" Gillette said pushing past Jack.

"Get away with what? He didn't do anything…yet" Sam piped in; Gillette spun around and looked at the two.

"Really?" he said in a pansy kinda tone, turned and made his way towards the helm.

"I don't like his tone" Sam growled, but softened as she looked at Jack

"He didn't do anythin to ye did he?" Jack said as he looked her over.

"No, and if he did, he wouldn't be prancing around the ship, like he is now" she said as she grabbed his arms and pulled him close. "Thankyou, for what you did just now, not that I couldn't have handled it"

"I know ye could 'ave Luv, I don't doubt that at all" he said giving her a hug. They stood there together for a while looking out to sea until Elizabeth came up to them, or more accurately snuck up on them.

"You too seem cosy" She said startling them out of their daydreams.

"Ahh" the both jumped making Elizabeth laugh, Sam playfully punched her in the arm.

"What's the deal with sneaking up on us like that?" Sam laughed

"Well I though I'd just come to warn you that Gillette is trying to make trouble. I over heard him talking to Commodore Norrington about something Jack said" Elizabeth looked at Jack. "What happened?"

"Nothin to worry 'bout now, Luv" he said glancing at Sam, who was now sitting on the railing watching the waves crash underneath her.

"Do be careful Sam" Elizabeth said starting to walk over to where she was sitting.

"Watchya say Liz" Sam said spinning around on the railing.

"I said be careful" She sighed. Sam started to get off the railing but as she did so, the ship dipped slightly, it was actually hardly noticeable but that was enough to make Sam start to fall backwards. She lost her grip on the railing and started to teeter dangerously over the ocean, it seemed to happen all in slow motion to Jack and Elizabeth who were too stunned to do anything.

"Don't worry, I'll save myself" she said sarcastically as she disappeared over the railing, much to their horror.

"Sam!" Elizabeth and Jack screamed causing men to come running over from their posts.

"MAN OVERBOARD" They yelled, until they heard a voice from the side of the ship.

"Well actually, I am not a man and I'm not overboard…what ever that means…but it sounds like it means when you fall over the side of the ship…which could be called a board I suppose, but I think it isn't " Sam blabbered from her place on the side of the ship. They all looked over and found her standing on a small ledge just under the statues (that thing on the front of the ship?). 

"Well, get 'er up…NOW!" Jack yelled at the surrounding men, who were startled out of their daze at seeing her smiling up at them. They chucked ropes over the side and she climbed back up onto deck where both Jack and Elizabeth grabbed her in a tight hug.

"I…Need…to…breathe…and…you…smell" she wheezed huskily from under the arms of Elizabeth and Jack, who reluctantly let her go. Norrington walked up to her and asked.

"How did you manage not to fall into the water?" Sam smiled back at him.

"Well, I didn't spend all my time on that pirate ship sitting in a cabin crying" she said giving Elizabeth an amused glance to find her giving a stern look.

"Indeed" he said as he started to walk off.

"You know you say that an awful lot" Sam said to his retreating form.

"Indeed" he replied with a smirk

"See, there you go again" she said waving her arms about, only to be spun around to look into the face of Jack.

"That was a close call, Luv" He said huskily, rubbing her arms.

"Hmm, I guess so, you weren't worried were you?" She asked tilting her head sidewards.

"Only a little" he murmured, Elizabeth took this opportunity to make a get away, she'd deal with Sam later.

"Ooohhhh, I feel loved" She giggled and threw her arms around his neck and gave him a passionate kiss. They could feel all the crew members' eyes watching the two standing in their passionate embrace under the afternoon sun.

Gillette, who was watching this display of passion, was seething with anger.

"I'll get you back, Sparrow.  I'll make sure of it" he murmured.

"Did you say something Gillette?" Norrington asked turning around and giving a disapproving glance at the two on the bow.

"No, sir, Nothing" Gillette said looking back down at the map he was holding, occasionally looking up to see if Jack was still with her. He'd make her love him, even if it meant that he had to get rid of obstacles that stood in the way.

"Actually, Sir, don't you think that it is most inappropriate that they are together?" Gillette asked turning too look at his commanding officer.

"I do, but what I think really doesn't matter to Miss Turner" Norrington sighed, also looking up from the map he was reading.

"But I don't suppose it matters, seeing that he is too be hung as soon as we return to Port Royal" Gillette sneered, Norrington looked at him with an odd expression

"Are you…jealous, Gillette?" he asked with a smirk.

"I suppose I am sir" Gillette looked down at the map in front of them.

"Even if it hurts me to say so, she is a fine women and you'd be lucky to have her" and with that Norrington walked over to Gov. Swann and started to discuss further actions. 

"I would indeed" Gillette mumbled, turning once again to see the happy couple in their embrace. "But luck isn't going to have anything to do with it, it would seem"

********************************************************************************************

"How could you be so irresponsible, Sam, you could have died just then. It was the most disrespectful act I've ever seen concerning ones well being………Blah……Blah……" Elizabeth was giving Sam an earful in their cabin. Sam didn't seem to be unnerved by this speech as she'd heard it all so many times she could practically recite it by heart. Jack in the meantime has shrunk back into a large chair in the corner of the room, trying to avoid Elizabeth's accusing glares. Sam had completely zoned out and was watching Elizabeth get angrier and angrier, as she got more into the speech, a vein on her forehead started to get bigger and bigger. Sam had to control herself, and she put all her energy into not laughing, but it was much too hard and she fell upon the bed laughing.

"Sam! Why are you laughing? Stop it this instant!" Elizabeth asked/yelled.

"Because…because…you…you…vein…head…big" She managed to get those few words out in between the laughter that was now raising as Jack started to join in.

"Don't you laugh mister" Elizabeth turned to Jack but he was too far gone to stop. Elizabeth tried not too smile, and keep her stern face but Sam's face had turned red from laughing and tears were rolling down her face faster than a waterfall, not to mention Jack's kohl eyeliner was running so much that he looked like a panda. This was too much for her and she too joined the laughing couple.

"Sam…can't…you…ever…be…serious?" Elizabeth asked during laughs.

"I…I…NO" Sam wheezed out, causing them to laugh even harder.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm so sorry it's taken so long and it is so short, but I'm not actually allowed to be on here at the moment…I'm meant to be doing my physics work…Opps…don't tell the elves…hehehe they don't know I have my Pixie Stix either *Pours one in her mouth* MMMMMMMMMMM yum, yum, yum.*sounds of footsteps coming closer and Legolas storms into the room* 

_Sam? SAM? Where is she? _

Hehehe

_I heard that *Drags her out from under the desk* __you are meant to be doing your physics work._

I am…I am watching the physics of suger dissolving on the tongue…*Pours another Pixie Stix in her mouth*…shweee *with a mouth full of suger* 

_Where did you get that? Give me it!_

NO MINE *growls at Legolas, who throws her over his shoulder in a quick movement* HEY…

_…Is for horses…now, you have to do your work_

NOOOOOOOOOO NO WORK, I'm allergic 

_No your not_

Yes I am *is taken into the study, and given amused looks by the others* WHAT!?!?

_There *Locks the door from the outside…not sure how* __DO YOUR WORK_

NO

*thinks* _you can give me a sponge bath!_

REALLY?

*shakes head 'no'* _Sure, but only if the work is good enough_

WWWOOOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO *starts to work like crazy…literally* 

_Hehehe stupid human_

WHAT?

_I said I can't wait *Walks off*_

Hehehehehe and neither can I …MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA

*points at crazed fans* hahaha HAHAHAHAHA I, that's right ME, get to give LEGOLAS A SPONGE BATH

*Dances around like crazy* Woot, Woot…heybabyhyaegyhya hey Macarena*tries to sing the Macarena song*

_I DON'T HEAR WORKING_

I am I am, I swear on Elladen's hair

**_HEY I HEARD THAT_**

HEHEHEHEHE


	20. Crows nest of LURVE

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.**

*looks around at dusty shelves* uhh *disappears into a room and comes out wearing a plastic germ suit* I feel a little better now *notices dust on inside of suit* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH *runs around in circle trying to get away from it*

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ Gillette's making trouble, Sam falls of boat but is saved by herself and much laughing.**

 ~***Final Line***~** - **_"I…I…NO" Sam wheezed out, causing them to laugh even harder._

**PEOPLES WE'VE MADE IT TO 20 CHAPTERS!!!!!!! WOOT, WOOT**

**To My Wonderful Reviewers **who get free pictures of Jack and Legolas having a massage ;) *hint, hint* use your imagination!!!  

**Sweet A.K – WOW you're a real quick reviewer…^__^ looky my first face thing…you should feel privileged now, YAY FOR SUGER RUSHES, MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHA …*KNOCKS ON DOOR* _WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE? _I'm just testing the time that it takes for my voice to bounce off the walls…*whisper* he thinks I'm doing work hehehe. Sam will eventually do something about him…not sure what yet but I hope it's something good.  OOOHHHH SKIING…that's a good idea, yeah I found out that elven grace ain't all that its cracked up to be, picture Legolas surfing and then just NOT, he couldn't stand up on a board to save himself…maybe to save himself but you know what I mean. Ooohhhh broken leg…ow…give him my well wishes but don't worry cause they heal really quick, Jack broke Elladen's finger last week and its all good now…so don't worry, and when he is annoying you with his bell ringing, take his bell and pull the little thing inside it out then give it back to him, then tell him, if he does it one more time, your going to the EXACT same thing to him…savvy? And I rrreeeaaalllyyy know what you're talkin bout!! Hmmm he did look very, nice in Return of the King didn't he, but I have to say LEGOLAS WAS DEAD SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!  *drooling* hmmm I'd luv to warm him up…but at the moment he is making me do work…which I'm not. YAY MMMMMMWWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* my throat is getting red raw from doing that.**

**Dimonah Tralon – Shanks, You are quick, sure you can borrow Jack for a while, but I want him back *sticks head out of the door only to come face to face with Legolas* err 'ello._ What are you doing? Just telling Jack that he's going to Dimonah's place for a bit…_no you're doing your work _Oh that too but could you tell Jack that he has to be at this address soon, and when he gets back he can have 5 bottles of rum, all to himself. __Hhhhmmm will you do your work? Possibly *Legolas raises and eyebrow…tries not to faint, breath dammit* Ok I'll do my work *Legolas goes to tell Jack who puts up a slight protest until he hears his reward then is out the door* Now I want him back and take good care of him, he can get emotional sometimes and DON'T LOSE HIM!!! I need him back for…ummm… to be my 'muse' yes that's it muse…Mmmwwwaaahhahahahaha *cough* _**

_Was that another "experiment"?_

Yes… *in a sexy voice* I only want to please you, Legolas, you and only you (and possibly Elladen, Elrohir and Jack)

_Really *Thinks* _Continue on__

Hehehe HOW MUCH DO YOU LUV ME PEOPLE, THAT'S TWO, that's right, count em TWO, CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY…ALL HAIL QUEEN AUS

_That doesn't sound like work_

*in sexy voice again* Oh it is, I wouldn't disobey you, _Mellon Nin_

_Hmmmm really_

*in a husky whisper* Never

_When did you learn Elvish?_

MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* I'll never tell

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

Jack, Elizabeth and Sam all emerged for the cabin red faced and tear stained, although Jack had managed to clean himself up so he looked respectable…i.e. no panda. They stood in the fading afternoon sun.

"It seems we were in there longer than we thought" Sam said watching the sun slip below the waves.

"I'm going below to have something to eat. Are you coming?" Elizabeth asked the two, who both shook their heads in return.

"Hmmm it's a nice night, isn't Luv" Jack said sidling up to Sam who was standing against the mast, watching Jack approached.

"Tis" she answered looking upwards as Jack grabbed her by the hips and pulling her forward to meet him.

"Whatchya lookin at?" Jack said also looking up.

"The mast. Care to join me Captain?" Sam asked looking Jack in the eye.

"Join you? Hmmm depends on what I'm joining in on" Jack smiled and watched as Sam retreated quickly up the mast, about half way she stopped and looked down.

"Join me up on the mast" she said with a saucy wink and made her way up the mast until she came to the beam thingy. She moved over it and sat down letting her legs dangle down and turned to see where Jack was. She was surprised to find him about 2 metres away.

"You're fast" she said admirably

"Well over twenty years on a ship would make ye fast, Luv, but ye a surprising one ye are, didn't know ye could move that fast?" He said as he pulled himself up next to her and slipping an arm about her waist, pulling her close. 

"You know, for a "Blood thirsty pirate" you are very, hmmmm dashing?" Sam said watching Jack's reaction.

"Really?" Jack laughed "But I don't really fall under the "blood thirsty pirate" category, do I, I mean if I don't have to kill anyone I won't, not like most pirates I know"

"I know but you know all the stories about pirates, and stuff, you don't seem to really fall under any of those" Sam smiled as Jack stood up with his slightly off balance motion, holding a rope with one hand and making wild hand gestures with the other.

"Would ye like me to be a "pirate", 'Arrgg, give up ye mangy scurves, tis time to walk the plank, come ere young lassie'" Jack slurred pulling a laughing Sam up to stand next to him.  "Do ye want me to act like 'at"

"No, I think I rather like the way you are now" she said looking into his eyes "What about me?" she asked

"Well, ye nuthin like 'Lizabeth and other nobles and ye ain't like a prostitute…" Sam looked at him

"I'd wanna hope not" Jack laughed at her retort

"Let me finish, Luv, ye are defiantly not like any other woman I've seen, or met, very unique ye are" Jack, who had been looking at the moon, looked down into her eyes "And I think I'm very lucky to 'ave ye" 

"Oh Jack" Sam whispered "That was lovely" she said hugging him. Jack took her by the chin and lifted her head until her lips sat neatly on his.  
They stood there for a while until they got a little bit 'carried away' and had to move up to the small platform that was the crows nest. They spent a long time up there, just kissing and holding each other. They didn't even notice the dark figure on deck watching them the whole time.

***********************************************************************************************

'_3 hours, what could they have been doing up there for 3 hours?' Gillette wondered as he watched the couple descend from the crows nest and make their way below deck. Gillette had been sailing the ship through the calm waters when the couple and Elizabeth had appeared from their cabin. Gillette had never been a jealous man but ever since he had laid eyes on Samantha Turner, he had despised any man that ever got close to her, excluding her brother of course. Gillette had some women after him, but these women had nothing over Sam, she was to him, a goddess of great proportions. He wished that he could at least talk to her, but she always brushed him off, but that was before he was Lieutenant~* of the Royal navy. She had a slight respect for him now, everyone did, maybe that was enough for her to even consider him as a potential husband and he was, of course, the Commodore's right hand man, who wouldn't want him._

'_Obviously Sam, that's who, Blast that damn Sparrow, he has ruined all my chances with her. He has to be dealt with, but of course he will be dealt with accordingly when we returned to Port Royal, but I'm not sure I can wait until then for Captain Jack Sparrow to get what he deserves'_

Gillette grabbed the wheel and held tightly as he thought up ways to make Jack pay.

~*not sure if he is lieutenant*~

***********************************************************************************************

"_Yo Ho Yo Ho a pirate's life for me" The crew, Sam and Jack were all below singing, which wasn't very different but instead of singing the normal songs such as varies rhapsodies, but now they were singing songs that pirates sung. It also helped that Sam had managed to find a few large barrels of rum and dispensed it throughout the crew. _

"I 'ave a song" Called out Sam above the noise.

"Lets 'ere it Luv" Jack said slapping her arse, causing her to giggle some more.

"Ok tis called '_Drunken sailor'_

_What can you do with a drunken sailor?_

_What can you do with a drunken sailor?_

_What can you do with a drunken sailor?_

_Early in the morning_

_Hooorrraaaaaayyyyyyy and up she rises_

_Hooorrraaaaaayyyyyyy and up she rises_

_Hooorrraaaaaayyyyyyy and up she rises _

_Early in the morning!_

Err…I Can't remmmer annny mrr" Sam slurred falling back against Jack.

"'ello Luva" Sam said slightly perkier.

"'ello Luv" Jack laughed until Sam pulled him down into a passionate kiss. All the crew cheered them on until Elizabeth, who had been dining with the Commodore and Gov. Swann, pulled Sam away.

"Time to retire to our cabin, Sam" She said helping a very drunk Sam to the door.

"Bye, all" She said waving over Elizabeth's shoulder

"Bye, Sam" came a chorus of replies.

"Goodnight Luv" Jack said from his chair next to the rum, he was also very drunk and unable to move because of it.

Elizabeth got Sam to their cabin and into her bed before Sam passed out.

"A lot of help you are" Elizabeth grunted as she pushed Sam further into the bed and covered her in a blanket.

Sam only gave a snore in reply.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm sorry it's so short but two in one day, that's gotta count for something. And guess what I'VE FINISHED MY PHYSICS *Dances around the room* WOOT, WOOT ……I really like saying that. *Runs out of the room to show Legolas her essay*

DONE!!!

_Let me see *He reads the essay, as he reads it, she makes faces at Elladen and Elrohir, who make faces back* __It's pretty good._

YAY, *Mimics Jack's weddings speech* SPONGE BATHS, I LOVE SPONGE BATHS, SPONGES ALL ROUND!!

_NO_

What!?! You said…

_No, I said if it was good enough_

But it is good enough you said

_Not good enough for me, I don't see anywhere on here 'LEGOLAS IS THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE UNIVERSE' _

Oh, hmm, lets see *produces Pixie Stix from pocket and eats it in one gulp* you know what…

_What?_

*Yells in his ear* GALAHS

_AHHHH *grabs his throbbing ear*__ WHAT'S A GALAH_

IT'S A BIRD! HERE BIRDIE, BIRDIE, BIRDIE!!! *Starts to chase Legolas around chanting Birdie while the others laugh, she stops and rolls her head around like 'the Exorcist'* what are you laughing at?

*They stop laughing and looked freaked out* _You Chasing Legolas_

Wrong answer, Elladen *stalks over to the elves on the lounge* Here elfy, elfy. Here boy

**_RUN!!!! _*They get up and run over to where Legolas is hiding behind 'the lurve seat'***

Its ok boys, I would never hurt you MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *Cough*

*They continue to run around the entire house until Aus corners them in a room*

*In a Nobel tone…think Aragon calling to the riders of Rohan* Boys, elves, Hotties of Middle earth…Why do you run from me?

_Ummm you're trying to get us and force us to do unimaginable things_

No I'm not

**_Yes you are_**

Why would I do that, Elrohir? 

_Because you're insane_

No I'm…*thinks* oh wait I am MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough, cough, cough* opps I gotta stop that *faints*

_What do we do?_

_Revive her_

**_How?_**

_It's called…umm…I know this…she made me learn…mouth-to-mouth_

_Well since you know you do it_

_Alright *Turns her over and….*_


	21. late chapters suck i'm sowy

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.**

Apparently Marlboro is a cigarette company, now that's what you call ironic!

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** Sam and Jack spend some "quality" time in da nest, Gillette had a whinge, quality drunk time with the crew.

~***Final Line***~** - **_Sam only gave a snore in reply._

Hmmm I feel so bad that I haven't updated but school's bitch, so much work so little time, Plus I had all these "things" to do this weekend, I can't say because I had to lock me boys up while I was out other wise they get into trouble.

**To My Wonderful Reviewers**

**Sweet A.K – **Hehehe yeah I liked the idea of panda Jack, actually that's the reason why I only wear mascara when I'm going out now, before I used to wear it too school…big mistake, my friends always make me laugh so hard I start to cry and well you can see the results, YEAH DRUNKEN SAILOR IS THE MADDEST SONG *gives high 5* You must teach it to Faramir and Haldir!!! *pouts* my elves refuse to sing it; they say it is "inferior" to their songs…PISH. Yes drunk Sam, I must say, acts like drunk me…or so I'm told, I'm a good drinker *nods, elves give disbelieving looks* what? I am…I think…anyway. Good I think they should be a little afraid of you because other wise they will run wild…like my lot!! Ahhh it IS even better when you comfort them afterwards, I agree totally *wink, wink, cough* Yeah I was kinda angry at them for a while but I got back at them, you'll see what happened below!! Ahhh I hate boo-boos I get heaps from sport *points at the elves* kiss our BOO-BOOS!!! *they run off and hide* you know what!?! I think that they have this secret hiding spot somewhere in my house and I don't know where it is!!! I must find it!!! Hmm I really want to get this update up and running but it's so hard to find extra time to do it, JEBUS, school is so evil and it has taken me a whole like 2 hours to respond to all these reviews (which I LURVE by the way), and, and *breaks down, but recovers with a PS (Pixie Stix)* I'm ok now, slight break down, all I have to remember is that Schoolies is coming soon and I get to party non stop for a month!!!!!! YAY I CAN'T WAIT, but for now I must find their hiding spot, Toodle-oo!!

**Amanda – **Wow what a coincidence…so am I, and boy do I hate the work load! YAYAYAYAYAY I MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY!!! Yeah I like the little before and after fics, NUH don't bother with work…_YES BOTHER WITH WORK…_Shuddup Leggo…anyway enjoy!!! YAYAYAYAYAY PIXIE STIX how great are they!!! *grabs bag of PS* THANKYOU!!! _What do you have? _Nothing! _What do you have?!? _*reaches for bag*NOTHING!!!! *bites hand* _AHHH you psycho!!! _Damn Right!!!

**EMILY – **HEHEHE hello new reviewer…I'm glad you like the story, the more people that enjoy it the happier I am!!! PLZ CONTINUE

**LotRseer3350 – **Hmmm I know, I'm hating Chem this year too, I swear maybe I shouldn't have chosen all the hard subjects but as long as I get a good enough mark to get into Uni then I'm happy. *LOL* I think I can handle the twins but when Dimonah Tralon is finished with Jack, you may borrow him if you like!! **_You make him sound as though he is an object! _**Weelllll he likes to travel and I don't think keeping him cooped up in here is very fair **_What about us!?! _***swings a watch slowly* But…You…Like…it…here…Elladen **_Yes…we…like…it…here…hhheeeyyy don't do that! _**Hehehe ANYHOW don't be embarrassed about a little thing like that, no!... be embarrassed about something like…*Blushes*…putting on a sheer tank top accidentally because you're in such a rush and then finding out that you're wearing it by a bunch of footy guys' whistles and yells as you're running past!!! That's embarrassing!!! …Yeah Gillette is a razor, I had a Gillette woman's razor once but I have now moved on to INTUITION *starts to sing Intuition by jewel* but you don't care bout that do ya…OH yeah I'd better hurry up and save Will, I think it will be a funny reaction…is there any other and No my name isn't Sam it is…*Legolas takes the keyboard* _You are not aloud to say that _*gives it back* ok I will not say that my name is … *takes it back*_ I'm not falling for that one again, now promise me that you will not say it, swear on…on…YOUR PIXIE STIX *_Gives it back* OOOHHHH *growls* your mean!  **** 

**Branded: BadEgg4Evaa – **Thanks for liking my story but I think we need to have a little talk. Ok, I really hate being mean…just like you to know that…BTW I'm not trying to be mean, BUT I don't think that you really made that up because I have read HEAPS, I'm talking thousands, of FanFics *in the background _you have no life*_ I have more of a life then you do so Shuddup anyway you are not the only one to have Legolas, Jack, etc…the way I see it is that there are many copies of our favourite characters just waiting to be used in some lucky person's fic as their muses, Eg. Legolas 228908134854590, Elrohir 7789 and Elladen 7790 (my Elves) and Jack 777880013835 …*smiles* but that's just me!! But on a much happier note…WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOT, WOOT, YEAH!!! *DANCING* I'm one of the best; I'm one of the best _NO YOUR NOT _SHUDDUP!!  Anyway I'm glad that even though you don't like the mini story thing, you like it……*Looks confusingly at last sentence* or something like that…anyway you don't have to read them if you don't want, they are just my mindless ramblings!!! I'm sorry if you found anything I said mean and if you did, I shall spank Legolas for making me say it _WHAT? _Nothing    

**Dimonah Tralon – **Well since the pirates sort of die and disappear at the end, I decided to make Gillette the creepy guy that hangs around, cause he kinda does freak me out…That's good, I hope Jack is taking care of you *Wink, Wink* keep him as long as you need him, and he'd better be helping you, tell him that if he doesn't his little boat will go bye-bye *holds up picture of _Black Pearl_ over the toilet*…hmmm I think I can hear his screams from here!!!

**Elven-Water-Nymph-Wilwarin – **Funky Name…that took a while to write, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH THE COOLEST!!! THE COOLEST POTC FIC YOU'VE EVER READ, hear that and you doubted me *shakes review in Leggy's face*

**Evenescent Dreams – **Hmm glad you like the way the story is going…I'm actually not sure where the story is going my self but Oh well…hang on should I know that???, Jack was warned that if he broke that boat that he would be glomped by you, then he asked what that meant and if it was the way he was seeing it in his mind, I told him he'd find out if he broke that boat…ship, Oh and Leggens has a message for you…_Don't call me Leggens…*_Cough* _Dearest Bianca, thankyou very much for you wonderful gift, it has given me hours of pleasure...*_Giggles in background*_…Not like that, you dirty girl, I have been annoying Elladen and Elrohir with it's shooting arrows and they are now asking if they have little figurines like I do…Aus has already told them no, I think they were about to cry…hmm Aus is poking me with a pen so I will go now, sincerely Legolas prince of _*pushes him away*_…_MY HEART MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* _that is not what I said…*_gags him* Shuddup

**Zeldagrl436 – **Ok I will just for you *Muffled cries of help are heard* you heard nothing!!

**M.BENTALL2K – **tis cool mate, and yes I am Leggo obsesso but who isn't, thanks for your site suggestion, TIS AWESOME, I will be careful wiv da stories, but a little Leggy torture here or there is…interesting *muffled cries of* _HEY_ *are heard* Shuddup you *pokes him with a stick*, anyway your email freaked me out a bit cause I though it might be some scary virus or something, glad it was you though.    

**92 REVIEWS PEPS LETS TRY AND GET TO 100!!!..............................PLEASE**

Hehehe I was this close (_) to snoggin Leggy boy but bloody Elrohir saw me smile, he got his though…MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* 

**_If you keep doing that you are going to lose your voice!_**

Really? 

**_Yes Elladen used to do it Then he couldn't speak for a week_**

Hmmm? Maybe I should stop then?

**_Sounds like a plan_**

I know I'll just do this *makes a mental parrot/raptor noise* 

**_Please don't_**

_When are you going to untie him?_

G'day Elladen, when I want to *looks at leggy* or until he decides to strip for me and my readers, which ever comes first *Leggy shakes his head and mumbles _Fat chance_*

**A Story By Any Other Name**

Sam sat on the bow of the ship with Jack standing behind her with his arms wrapped casually around her waist. 

"I have a headache" Sam wined, Jack started to rub her temples

"Poor Luv, any excuse eh?" Jack laughed as she pushed him slightly; they continued to watch the island come into view.

"When do you think we will reach the island?" She said leaning back into Jack's chest.

"By nightfall at the most" he said staring at the growing island.

"Hmmm, do you think…that…Will do you reckon he is alright?" Sam sighed; Jack looked down at her sad face.

"Luv, If I've learnt anythin from ye brudda, then it's that he is mighty tough" Jack gave a soft smile.

"I hope you are right…well he is quite tough but mainly persistent, I remember this one time when we were younger, Will got his first sword and no matter how many times he cut himself, he would keep practicing until he got it right…or I took the sword from him and cut his hair…which ever came first" Laughed Sam.

"Ye are a real destructive one ain't ye?" Jack returned the laugh

"Only when it counts…" Sam looked behind Jack "Here comes trouble"

"Sparrow, Commodore wants you on deck" Gillette stated looking only at Sam who gave him a blank look in return.

"Hmmm really?" Jack cocked an eyebrow at him then lifted Sam off the railing and set her on the deck next to him. "Why don't ye go and see what Elizabeth's up to?" Sam smiled goofily at him.

"Okey dokey pokey" Jack laughed and pulled her up to meet his lips, Jack could see Gillette's disgusted look out of the corner of his eye. They continued their kiss until the very angry voice of Norrington called Jack from across the deck; Jack reluctantly pulled away and strode off towards the helm. Sam watched him walk off, ogling his bum as he walked.

"I don't see why an upstanding woman such as yourself, would let your standards drop" Gillette snarled at Sam, who looked blankly at him

"HUH?" she asked.

"Why have a…a…pirate instead of an upstanding gentlemen such as myself?" Gillette asked crossing his arms and moving closer, Sam looked at him and then at Jack who was arguing with one of the guards.

"Umm let me see……NO!" she said and stalked off towards the cabins, Gillette followed her slightly confused

"No, what do you mean by no? That didn't even answer my question!" Gillette reached for her arm to turn her around but she was quicker, she grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back and got him in a headlock.

"Now listen here. 1. I choose who I want to be with, 2. You are ugly, 3. Jack is hot, 4. You are ugly, 5. I am soooo not upstanding…I think, and 6. You are GAY! Understand now leave me in peace" Sam growled and pushed him away and made towards the cabin.

"You will not hear the last of this, do you understand me" Gillette gasped at her as she opened the door and stepped inside.

"I really doubt that, hopefully someone will stick a carrot up your butt and you will fall overboard but until then I can only hope that you will…how do I put this nicely…depart this mortal realm" she said from inside the doorway

"You want me to die!" he asked shocked, Sam stuck her head out the doorway and added

"That or you leave…which ever comes first" and with that she closed the door.

*********************************************************************************************

"Ding dong, Bing bong, CHING CHONG" Sam bounded over to Elizabeth who was looking out the window.

"And why do you have so much energy?" Elizabeth laughed at Sam's bouncing form.

"Well…I just assaulted Gillette and…" but before she could finish Elizabeth stood up with a shocked expression etched on her face.

"You WHAT?" She shouted at Sam who was now bouncing on her bed watching as Elizabeth started to pace.

"Wassup Lizzy?" she asked innocently as she continued to bounce but feeling a sharp pain in her foot, she plopped herself down on the bed and proceed to pull off her dark green boot. "Ooohhhh looky, shiny" Sam said as she fingered the dagger she had produced from the boot.

"What's up? You know very well what's up. Gillette may just have you hung… or just to prove a point have Jack hung! Sam…Sam are you even listening to me?" She watched Sam as she continued to play with the dagger; finally she decided to take it off her before she could hurt herself. But as she reached for it, Sam suddenly pulled away and growled.

"My shiny" Elizabeth pulled her hand back in fright and stared at Sam with a frightened expression only to find Sam looking back at her with her face full of laughter, it took a while for Elizabeth to clam herself down and try not to kill Sam where she sat. Once she had enough self control she tried to get Sam to put her dagger back in her boot so that she would not hurt herself. This proved much harder than she had once thought.

"BUT IT'S PRETTY!"

"No it's dangerous"

"PRETTY and oh soooo shiny"

"Sam; you will hurt yourself, now please give it here"

"BUT IT'S MINE; HUNKY LOUIS GAVE ME IT, NOT YOU, ME, ALL MINES!!"

"Now what would Jack say if he heard that?"

"Probably where's the rum? Or 'Ello Luv, Fancy a bit ol' ye and me time"

"Yes he probably would say something like that"

"You see I am perfectly capable of handling a sharp object now" Starts to spin the dagger extremely fast between her fingers.   

"No, stop it, Now give me it" Elizabeth snatches for the dagger.

"MINE…OOOOOOOWWWWW" Sam grabs the dagger back only to find out that she wasn't holding the handle.

"Oh look what you've done now, let me see" Elizabeth took Sam's bleeding hand, and started to bandage it.

"Why do I always get hurt?" Sam asked, Elizabeth dropped Sam's newly bandaged hand and looked her in the face

"Because you are stupid" Sam's jaw dropped

"Lizzy, you aren't meant to say that" Elizabeth laughed at Sam's shocked expression

"What can I say, hanging around you all the time, it brings the bad side in me…out!"

They both erupted in giggles, if only they knew that this may be the last time they giggled uncontrollably like that…for a long time.

~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now what do I mean by that I wonder???

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in ages, but life is sooooooo hectic, makes me wanna cry *thinks about it* NUH, much easier to eat Pixie Stix anyway. *Eats 5 in a row* MUCH BETTER *Elladen comes in to find AUS's eyes starting to glaze over*

**_EVERYONE WATCHOUT SHE'S HAD SUGER!!!!!!_**

RRRRAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKK *Retarded mental parrot/raptor noise* Here elfy, elfy, elfy……Excuse me I have to go on an elf hunt!!! *leaves and switches all the power to the lights off* 

*A shadowy figure comes up to the computer* _Please help us, it isn't pleasant when she has had suger, *_Scuttling noise in the shadows* _Oh my Valar…I'm… so… scared… right… now, I do not know what she will do to me, and I can not protect myself…she…she has taken all our weapons_*Scuttling noise even closer* _She has taken the left hallway and the dining room, her giggles are deafening,_*SCUTTLING NOISE VERY CLOSE*_ she is coming, SHE IS COMING!!!!!!!! *_Looks over his shoulder into the shadows as giggles erupt from right behind him, he turns to see a shadowy AUS crouched on the desk next to the computer behind him*

Hello Legolas Dear …

*POUNCE*

_AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH _ 


	22. Closer, closer opps up the mast

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.**

Money, money, money, lots of money, in a rich man's world!

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Getting closer to the island, Sam attacks Gillette YAY, Sam gets hurt yet again but it ain't very bad.

~***Final Line***~** - **_They both erupted in giggles, if only they knew that this may be the last time they giggled uncontrollably like that…for a long time._

**To my WONDERFUL reviewers**

**Miekje -  **Ooohhhh I like being original…yeah about that, a few people have asked me that you find out in chapt 17, and Jack knew before cause…he's really smart *nods* kinda…thanks…I think.

**Serilia – **Thanks *blushes* I like their relationship too…but I wonder what will happen to it though…hmmmm, Yeah I thought, if anyone was around a person like Sam they couldn't be stuck up all the time because, I mean, if you were around some one like that, you just couldn't control yourself could you…yeah or something like that…besides it's usually the good side of Nozza you see, and I really didn't want too…hehehe

**PyrateReba – **I think I know…wait…no I don't, I guess it's what ever my fingers come up with at the time, *walks over to Legolas who it tied up with some chains and is gagged and pokes with a stick* LLEEGGGOOOLLLAASSSS say hello to the nice reviewer…DOOO IIITTTT *moans* _Err hello PyrateReba…help me she's insane... *_gags him again* Oh Leggy when will you learn. 

**Amanda – **YES see I knew you'd agree hmmm there is a great possibility that if we did that it would become a big blob…but if at first you don't succeed try, try again. YES PIXIE STIX THEY ARE THE FOOD OF THE GODS!!! Yes I agree totally with you *Shows Legolas the review…or parts of it anyway, and he pulls a face and starts to laugh* Oh your laughing now are you, huh? You wont be laughing for long…just you wait until I finish these reviews *Legolas gulps* that's right you'd better gulp…oh good then I don't feel so bad about the length of my absences now!

**Evanescence Dreams – **Your FAVOURITE!!!! **WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ***does a dance, while the elves look on, with very scared expressions* oh no the elves are fine, *looks at the 3 huddled/chained elves* its ok, I will help them, OMG I WANT THE POSTER!!!!!! MMMMM I'm picturing it right now…oh well it's ok I have a Mega Huge poster of Leggy riding a horse in Two Towers and HUGE one of Orlando Bloom just looking sexy, and heaps more including Jack, leggy, Will and Orli and …hehehe…guess what they are all on my roof so I can watch them as I go to sleep. I think Elrohir would like something, it seems he is always complaining about that…can't wait to see what it is.

**Zeldagrl436 – **Oh he is in one peace alright, MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* I mean *freaky raptor/parrot noise* and you'll find out soon *looks around shiftily* 

**LotRseer3350 - ***types in the mailing form* yep when ever Dimonah Tralon is done he will be on his way, all ready for you and for whatever you need done *wink, wink* 

**Dimonah Tralon** – Hmm I was just talking about you, hehehe, oh you don't have to give Jack back, but I wouldn't mind seeing him again *looks wistfully* maybe just once, I miss his drunk slur…oh well as long as you are having fun…oh and he might have to make a small trip to south Carolina eventually…whenever you are ready…oh be careful of "Super roommates Of Death" they are dangerous I should know *shows a scar*

**Sweet A.K – **Oh if you like that, then you will like this chapt, gets good at the end…I think, yes SHINY things are very good aren't they, especially elf hair *strokes closest elf* Good elf. It would seem Gondor Boy isn't much fun is he, you need to give him a drink, me thinks. Oh you'll find out about that very soon…maybe…I think, hmmm I know it makes my hectic life seem all the worth while just to come home *smiles at elves who are all tied up* hmmm ticklish elves ey? *elves exchange worried looks* right under the rib cage *writes it all down in a notebook* right then! *walks over to Elladen who is trying to squirm away, and pokes him* **_ppiikk _**HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA again, again, **_ppiikk _**HAHAHAHAHA again, again, **_ppiikk _**HAHAHAHAHA again, again, **_ppiikk _**HAHAHAHAHA *notices tears in his eyes* hmmm better stop, for now, yeah I've taken their weapons as well, all hidden, so they can't find them…YEAH PIXIE STIX ooohhhh meanie ol' Haldir taken 'em away, find more and make sure Faramir gets A LOT of them, yeah bouncing is much fun, why not bounce especially off walls if he doesn't like it he can…strip for you…hehehe…I know you'd like that *wink* YAY MY FIC IS ALL GREAT!!!!!! I must also tickle my elves…hehehe *walks over to Leggy and pokes him*****_JJIIIPPPP _HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA AGAIN, _JJIIIPPPP _HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA AGAIN, _JJIIIPPPP _HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA *Walks over to Elrohir and pokes him* **_RRREEEPPP _**MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA MORE, **_RRREEEPPP _**MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA MORE, **_RRREEEPPP_** MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA apparently they make different noises.

**101 reviews people…PARTY TIME!!!!!!**

*looks at the elves* Now see what happens when you make me do work and take my Pixie Stixs *they all nod solemnly* Good Now if you all want to be let out you will be good and nice to me OK. 

Maybe if you are quite I will let you go…after I write this chapter.

*Leggy's mind* _She must be stopped, she can't keep tying us up like this, WE ARE ROYALTY_ so what _AH what are you doing in my head? _Don't you know leggy…I AM EVERYWHERE!!!_ Oh no_

*Elladen's mind* **_this has gone much too far _**what has? **_Who said that? _**It was ME **_AH GET OUT OF MY HEAD _**Ummm NO

*Elrohir's mind* **_Da na na na na HEY da na na na…I wonder if she'll share those suger stix…they look yummy _**Hello Elrohir **_Hey Aus _**Do you want some Pixie Stix **_Yes Please _**how come you are not freaked out by this **_By What? _** By oh never mind…I always knew you were insane_ **Shhhhh I'm talking to the purple kangaroo! **_Sure you are

**A Story by Any Other Name**

The sun slowly set turning the island that sat a few kilometres in front of them, the island that was usually black, was basked in beautiful reds and gold, these colours were also hitting the ship turning the girls hair into shining golden waves and the crew's dirt into crusty…err…gold. Sam was standing with Jack when something hit her…literally.

"Ow" Sam grabbed her shoulder as the small bird, dazed, continued to flutter around until it had its bearings then shot off into the now night sky.

"Ye all right luv?" Jack asked with a worried expression and rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah…just shocked" She said with a smile "Trust it would be me that would get hit by the only bloody bird around here"

"But isn't that ye bad shoulder?" Jack asked moving the bandage away.

"Nope, see, all better now" She smiled at his serious expression which broke into a smile as soon as he saw that it was indeed healed.

"So it is, well then there's nothing holding ye back now" Jack smiled and raised an eyebrow, Sam saw the look on his face.

"Jack, you dirty pirate…I like the way you think" She said with the same expression etched on her face, Jack just laughed and gave her an almighty hug.

"Oh that's nice, I like hugs" Sam said hugging him back with equal strength, suddenly Jack started tickling her which made her scream out loud with laughter. "NO…ahhhh…Jack…Stop…AHHH" Jack was now sitting on top of her holding down her wriggling form as he continued to tickle her. The only thing that stoped Jack was Norrington's lingering form above them.

"Mr Sparrow, that would be quite enough" Norrington sighed, watching the two.

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow" Jack sighed helping Sam to her feet.

"What's wrong Jimmy?" Sam asked to Norrington's shocked face.

"Jimmy, did you just call me Jimmy?" He asked to her smiling face.

"Mmmmm possibly" She said uncertainly, Norrington looked at her then turned sharply on his heal, he was about to walk away when he remembered what he originally came here for.

"Sparrow…"Jack growled under his breath "…We shall be arriving soon so I suggest you follow me, and as for you, _Miss_ Turner, please wait with Elizabeth" and with that he walked back over to the governor to discuss the plan.

"Best be off now, pet, best no get _Jimmy's_ knickers in a twist" Jack laughed giving Sam one last kiss before heading off. Sam wondered over to Lizzy, who was watching the island get closer.

"Not long now, ey?" Sam noticed Elizabeth's tear stained cheeks.

"I only hope it's not too late" Elizabeth sighed Sam enveloped her in a hug.

"Oh Lizzy, It's alright, I know he is alright" Sam said pulling back and giving Elizabeth a warm smile.

"But how do you really know?" She asked looking into Sam's deep green eyes.

"Trust me when I say I know" Sam said tapping her heart "and besides when have I ever steered you wrong?" 

"Well, there was that one time when you told me that the Commodore was really my father and that the lady that lives under the docks was really my mother, and when you told me that real ladies sleep under their beds, and when you told me that the horse droppings outside where ingredients that the cook had dropped and that they had to be served at the ball that night…" Elizabeth was watching Sam as she held onto the railing, trying not to fall over with laughter. 

"I remember that night, 150 people ate what they thought were cakes, and when they complained that they were grassy, I told them that these were new herb cakes, that people over in England were eating them now because they were good for your heart…and they believed it, remember how many people asked for the recipe? And no one ever knew" Sam gasped; she noticed that Elizabeth's face was less grim as before. "Don't worry Lizzy, he is alright, besides Jack will save him, I know it" 

"I hope you are right" Elizabeth sighed

"Of corse I'm right, I'm always right!" Sam said with her hands on her hips, Elizabeth laughed softly.

"Yes, you usually are" She said in defeat.

*************************************************************************************************

As they crept closer to the dark island, the crew seemed to be shaking in their boots at the sight of the great Black Pearl. Sam, though, was practically jumping around the deck; she was full of energy to say the least. She had been randomly attacking crew members for the past hour to pass time, jumping out from behind barrels and tackling them to the ground, the poor crew didn't know what hit them because as soon as they had regained their bearings Sam was long gone, hidden once again waiting for her next victim. Once or twice she had gotten Gillette, and when that happened she always managed to land a punch or two in his gut before disappearing. The only problem was when she went after Jack, who had been watching her the whole time so he knew what she was doing, as soon as she had jumped out from behind the stairs aimed at his ankles he jumped up and she went sliding underneath, which gave him the opportune moment to pin her down and tickle her until she gave in. This only happened once because soon Jack was also in on the gag, he distracted the crewmen while she attacked. This continued until Norrington decided that for the safety of his crew that she would be tied to the mast for the rest of the trip. But that to didn't last long, she managed to twist herself around so that she was facing the mast and proceeded to climb up it, Norrington didn't even notice until she called him from the top of the mast, still tied to it and everything but about 60 feet up. Seeing that physical restraint didn't work he had really no other choice but to let her run herself out, which didn't seem to be working.

"Are we there yet?" Sam asked bounding up to Norrington

"Not, as yet Miss Turner but we…"

"What about now?"

"No, we are…"

"How about…now?" 

"No, we are about…"

"Are we there now?" 

"NO we are NOT there YET!" Norrington yelled causing a few men to jump, but Sam still challenged him.

"You know you go purple when you get angry" Sam smiled into his raging face.

"Really? Well did you know that you are extremely infuriating?" Norrington Growled

"Yeah, I've been told that a few times…mainly by you, but you are wearing a nappy on your head so I don't have to listen to you, ice cream man"

"What?!? Of course you have to listen to me I am the Commodore of the Royal English Fleet" Gasped Norrington

"Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that Jimmy" Sam turned away from the fuming Commodore and screamed in a very, very high pitch voice "LLLIIIIZZZZYYYY, LLLLLLIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZYYYYYYY WHERE AAARRREEE YOOOOOUUUU?" 

"Grrrr" Norrington growled and turned to Jack "We are going ashore"

"WHAT" Jack yelled over the noise Sam was making in the background.

"WE ARE GOING ASHORE" He yelled back and indicated to the boats already being lowered with soldiers in them.

"OH!" Jack said following him to the boat.

As they were rowing away they heard the distinct screech of Sam screaming "WHAT ABOUT ME, IT ISN'T FAR, I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW I WANT MY SHARE*…HEY! HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING!!!?"

"It's a miracle that the pirates don't already now we're here" Sighed Norrington. They sat there for a while watching the cave entrance, Norrington was getting very nervous.__

"I don't care for the situation. Any attempt to storm the caves could turn to an ambush" Norrington said, not taking his eyes off the cave.

"Not if ye're the one doing the ambushing. I go in, I convince Barbossa to send his men out with their little boats. Ye and yer mates return to the Dauntless and blast the bejesus outta them with yer little cannons, eh?" Jack leant forward and slipped an arm about Norrington's shoulders "What do ye have to lose?

"Nothing I'd lament being rid of" Snarled Norrington.

Jack was completely unaffected by the tone of his voice and continued "Now, to be quite honest with ye, there's still a slight risk for those aboard the Dauntless which includes the future Mrs. Commodore and me luv"

"Hmm you are right, Gillette make your way back to the ship and keep guard…and do make sure that they are safe, understood?" Norrington yelled, quietly, to the boat opposite him.

"Understood, Commodore" Gillette saluted and started his boat off in the direction of the _Dauntless_. 

"Alright now you men in that boat and you men in that one…" Norrington ordered him men in to the surrounding boats "Now, Sparrow…" he saw Jack mouth Captain but chose to ignore it "…take this boat and keep to your end of the deal, understood?" 

"Inescapably" Jack said positioning himself in his boat and rowing in the cave entrance, looking very smug with himself.

*******************************MEANWHILE**********************************

"Bloody damn, Bloody hell, bloody Jack, bloody Jimmy, Bloody Pirates…" Sam was storming around on deck, fuming about being left behind, a few minutes before Elizabeth had to hold Sam back from jumping into the shark infested water.

"What language!" The Gov. huffed as he watched Elizabeth try and calm her down

"Look, here comes a boat" Elizabeth said pointing towards the incoming boat. Sam squinted at the boat and sighed.

"It's only bloody Gillette, who cares" She said storming off into the cabin leaving the others to greet the men that had returned. 

"Commodore has ordered that you be placed in safe keeping" Gillette announced once he had climbed aboard.

"What? Why?" Elizabeth gasped

"Because he fears for your safety, now where is Miss Turner?" 

"She has resided in her cabin…" The Gov. said stepping up.

"MY safety, what about theirs…" Elizabeth started to yell as Gillette signalled to another soldier to help him; they both grabbed her by the arms and took her to the cabin.

"Coward! The commodore ordered – I have to tell him! The pirates! They're cursed! They cannot be killed!" Elizabeth struggled against them until they pushed her into the cabin where Sam stood up and came over to Elizabeth. 

"Don't worry, miss, he's already informed of that. A little mermaid flopped up on deck and told him the whole story." Gillette sneered, but before he could do anything else, Sam punched him one right in the nose.

"Wanker" she said as she closed the doors, ignoring his screams of pain.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*** 'What about ME' – Shannon Noll (Runner up in Aussie Idol)  **

I like that song…*looks at the elves* alright I suppose I should let you out now, ey? *the elves nodded*

Alright *she unties the elves and un-gags them* Better?

_Much_

Now Elrohir here you go *gives him 16 Pixie Stix* Now eat them all quickly, I'll race you, ready…set…GO! *they down all the Stix* 

**_I WIN…WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!_**

MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHHAHAHAHAHA *cough* I mean *raptor/parrot noise*

**_Oh No_**

_Maybe we should hide for a while_

**_I think so _***they disappear up the stairs***__**

**_HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA … hey…how do you make that noise?_**

What noise?

**_The scary parrot one_**

Oh well, suck air into the back of your throat so that your windpipe sort of closes and then the air squeezed past making the noise *makes the noise*

 **_AHHH I see_** *Tries* **_didn't work_**

Practice makes perfect.

*Upstairs, they can hear the noise*

_Oh my Valar_

**_I'm glad we left_**

*Noise gets closer*

_Oh No I think they are coming_

*They hide in a cupboard until they see an eye in a crack*

**_'Ello Boys_**


	23. Well dying will do that to you

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Marilyn Monroe had six toes**

Hmmm six toes 'ey? Hang on a second…only 6 toes, like 3 on each foot?? 

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Sam's shoulder heals, Jack and Jimmy made their way to the cave…without Sam, Sam went mental and YAY SAM PUNCHES GILLETTE!!!!! 

~***Final Line***~** - **_"Wanker" she said as she closed the doors, ignoring his screams of pain._

**TO ME WONDERFUL REVIEWERS**

**Candeebarz – **YAY someone who ignores my bad grammar and spelling hehehe, I luv making her make fun of Gillette especially when it's physical.

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – **Yeah I went to that site yesterday…I think, and I've started to read the stories there (up to "First Meetings") and I really like the way they write, Jack was here but now he is travelling, he is dropping in today for a day or two then heading to South Carolina for a while, I'm glad your friend likes the story…HI FRIEND OF L.G.G-E (that's you) that's right spread the word, tell everyone…*in hushed voice* and soon I will rule the world and everyone will fear/love me and…*Elves give her a worried look* What?!?

**Dimonah Tralon – **Coolies Jack's Coming BACK…for a while anyway, he can stay here for a while then head off, I actually think I miss the hot guy *wipes tear and runs to the elves* Hey guys guess what? Jack's on his way back…how cools that *crickets chirp* well? *all at same time* **_yeah great_** that's the spirit.

**Crazy Llama – **Sure I'll review your stories, I always check out my reviewers' stories and eventually if there are any that strike an interest I will review them etc.

**LotRseer3350 – **Hehehe everyone Hates Gillette, ooohhhh Shakespeare…I think, Oh Jack will be there soon, he's dropping in today for a day or two then heading your way so keep a weathered eye out and you'll see a drunken pirate on the horizon soon enough…practice is a virtue…I wonder what that means? Oh look a dictionary AND a thesaurus all in one…*flicks though the pages*…s, t, u, v…ahhhh here we are VIRTUE – noun 1 moral goodness; a particular form of this, 2 a good quality. Hmm AKA decency, goodness, honesty…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH bloody boring you are just gonna have to chill he'll be there soon.

Hmmm only 5 reviews…oh well *runs around randomly yelling* Blastoff!!

**_What's wrong with her, Leggens?_**

_Did you just call me Leggens?_

**_Umm no_**

_YES YOU DID I AM *_interrupted*

~*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*~ AAAAHHHHHH HE'S HERE!!!!!!!

**_Why is she freaking out?_**

_*_sighs*_ Jack is back_

**_'Ello Luv _***Aus tackles Jack* **_I see ye missed me_**

JACK, YAYAYAYAYA, We've missed you!

_No we haven't, it has been semi quite around here_

Leppy that was mean

_Did you just call me Leppy?_

Yes, you overgrown leprechaun! *Legolas walks away grumbling*

**_'Tis all right Luv, as long as you missed me?_**

Course I did! I got you some rum!

**_Ahhh Luv, ye the greatest_**

So how was your trip?

**_Interesting_**

Oh?

**_She was a very…entertaining girl _***smirks*

Hmmm, sounds fun 

_Oh hello Jack!_

**_'Ello Elladen_**__

_It is Elrohir_

**_Sorry_**

YAY TIME FOR A PARTY!!!!!!!! Hey Jack try these *passes him a pixie stix and eats 10 herself*

**_Interesting_**

It's good isn't it; Elrohir likes them to don't you?

_ Yeah they are very nice._

* Unknown to the other two; they continue to eat many pixie stix until they start to talk gibberish* 

Hjoidnud ishadanjewir?

**_Hijimasbe HAHAHAHAHA NINE_**

_Bwearps sevenlegs kautoo  _

Hierhert milkseerk 

**_LOOPYINGHIR GREEEEP_**

_Kakumanda boosha_

~CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE~

*they laugh insanely*

**A Story By Any Other Name**

"SAMANTHA RHAPSODY HASTE TURNER, Why did you just punch him?" Elizabeth screamed at Sam, who was tearing the sheets to pieces.

"Because he was being a dickhead that's why" Sam said a matter of factually.

"Oh really?" Elizabeth sneered, she waited for a reply but Sam was focused on tearing all the sheets in the room up and tying them together. "What are you doing?" She asked giving up on the current argument.

"Baking a cake" Sam quipped finishing the last knot "Whatchya reckon I'm doing?"

"You are making a rope using the Commodore's best sheets" Elizabeth sighed as Sam started to clap enthusiastically.

"Yay, you are not a dumb blond" Sam stood up and started to throw the long "rope" out of the window.

"And why have you made this rope?" Elizabeth asked walking over to Sam and looking out of the window.

"Well, I plan to let to go and help Jack save Will, then hurt Jack for leaving me here, then make up with Jack, then hurt Jimmy, then make up with Jack again, say "hi" to Will and the end the night by making up with Jack again" Sam said with a smile as she tied the end of the rope to the balcony railing.

"Oh really?" Elizabeth asked sarcastically.

"Yep and you're gong to help me!" Sam pulled her towards the window.

"No, Sam NO let go, why?" Elizabeth said grabbing hold of the railing. Sam turned to her. 

"Sam don't you dare" Elizabeth warned "that face will not work with me"

Sam put on her puppy dog pout and made her eyes well up "Pwease Ewizabif, woo are my bestest fwend"  

"Ooohhhh I hate it when you do that" Sam's face broke out into a smile.

"Yay Lizzy, I knew you wouldn't let me down, Now let's go" Sam jumped over the railing, shimmied down the makeshift rope and landed in the small row boat below. Elizabeth followed closely behind.

"Wait, we need more help" Elizabeth said stopping from rowing off towards the cave.

"By JEBUS you are right" Sam exclaimed and looked around, she caught Elizabeth's eye as they both looked at the Black Pearl.

**************************************************************************************************

"…Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream.  
Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream if you see a bloodthirstyskeletonpirate, don't forget to scream.  
Row, Row, Row your boat…"

"SAM SHUT UP!" Elizabeth yelled softly as they approached the ship, which looked extremely eerie in the moonlight. They got closer and closer to the eerily quite ship, as they started to climb the side of the ship they heard raised voice from inside the ship.

"Right! What would you pick to eat first?" 

"I think we should decide now. Just so we're ready when the time comes."

The girls peered into the porthole and saw two pirates arguing about what they were going to eat first. Sam made a face at Elizabeth and they continued to climb the side of the ship. They reached the deck only to be surprised by Jack (The MONKEY) swinging down in front of them. Elizabeth looked like she was about to poop (hehehe poop is funny) her pants but then realised that the monkey wasn't going to do her any real harm, Sam meanwhile was trying to catch him and hug him. Elizabeth let out a sigh and decided to stop Sam form making too much noise so she grabbed Jack and threw him overboard; unfortunately he managed to hit the cannon on the way down. Elizabeth saw this and also saw the two pirates stick their heads out and look around.

"Whatchya Do that for?" Sam hissed at Elizabeth as she pulled Sam towards the doorway.

"Shuddup and c'mon the pirates are on their way up" she hissed in return. They run down the first set of stairs and hid in a small passage way as the pirates run past. They proceed to make their way down into the hull of the ship. 

"Shh!" They heard a voice hiss as the approached the holding area. They ran in to see a cell holding at least 20 pirates! "It's Elizabeth! And… another women" One of them says.

"Shh look lively now" Sam chirps to the grubby pirates who look at her strangely.

"What?" she asks "Look we're getting you out aren't we?" They all nod in and murmured in agreement. Elizabeth came over and unlocked the cell door.

"There are still two pirates on deck so we have to be careful" Elizabeth said heading up the stairs.

"Lizzy dear, I…have…a…plaaan" Sam sang as she bounced up the stairs after Elizabeth. The pirates sighed and followed them up the stairs. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Sam told them her plan and they put it into action. As soon as the evil pirates were on the other side of the ship, they snuck out behind the small boat that was on deck and waited till the evil pirates were looking over the railing into the water, then they propelled the small boat at them, sending them overboard in small pieces.

"YAY my plan worked!!" Sam cheered as they all rejoiced. Elizabeth did not cheer for long because soon she was getting the boat reading to row back to the cave. Sam meanwhile was dancing around with the smaller pirate of the bunch.

_"_All of you with me. Will is in that cave and we must save him. Ready? And heave!" Elizabeth ordered but the pirates stopped cheering and just looked at her, the sudden quietness awakened Sam from her dancing and made her pay attention. "Please, I need your help! Come on!" she pleaded.

"Any port in the storm" Cotton's parrot squawked. 

"Cotton's right, we've got the Pearl" Mr Gibbs said very calmly trying not to anger Elizabeth anymore.

"And what about Jack, you're just going to leave him?" She yelled at the retreating pirates

"Jack owes us a ship" Said Bruce (I like that name, "'ello my name's BRUCE" hehehe very Aussie) the smaller pirate.

"And there's the code to consider" Mr Gibbs said patriotically. 

"The code? You're pirates. Hang the code, and hang the rules! They're more like guidelines anyway." Elizabeth looked around at the faces of the pirates, she could see by the look on their faces that they were not going to help.

"I'll help ya Lizzy, as always!" Sam said stepping forward and helping Elizabeth with the boat.

"Ya know the least yous could do is help get this into the water" Sam said through clenched teeth as the pulled on the rope.

"Aye, that we can do" Gibbs said, gathering some of the pirates together, they helped to get the boat into and setting them on their way.  

_"_Bloody pirates" Elizabeth growled as she rowed.

"Yeah, but think about it, in the long run, it is a good thing. Trust me on this" Sam said they rowed into the mouth of the cave.

********************************************************************************************

As they crept closer to the sword fight that was happening in the cave, they watched as both Will and Jack took on the blood thirsty pirates, all of a sudden Elizabeth grabbed the golden staff that was leaning up next to them and darted out from behind the large pile of treasure.

"Elizabeth, where are you going?" She yelled after her, she wasn't worried about anyone hearing her because all those she could see were too busy fighting to pay any attention.

"I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain" The pirate Will was fighting growled.

"Do you like pain?" Elizabeth asked as she knocked the pirate out with the staff "Try wearing a corset" she quipped, Elizabeth helped Will up and looked over at Jack "Whose side is Jack on?" she asked Will, who just shrugged.

"At the moment?" He said with a smile. All of a sudden Bo'sun charged at them from behind, they didn't have enough time to turn around and block the blow that was about to hit. Luckily Sam who had seen Bo'sun charge darted out in front of them.

"'Ello 'ello 'ello" Sam grinned as she blocked Bo'sun's blow just in front of Will.

"You" he growled and started to lash out at her "We've got something to finish"

"That we do" Sam agreed and pushed him away from her so that they had enough room to fight. They exchanged blows, both moving at incredible speeds; Sam was calling on all her experience to help her fight. Bo'sun was on the offensive while Sam was on the defensive. Their clanging of swords echoed throughout the cave. Sam was able to dodge anything he tried to hit her with, which frustrated him to no end. 

"Stand still" he growled as he lashed out, but as Sam jumped back out of the way, she landed wrong on her leg and felt her kneecap slid out of it's socket. 

"AHHH" she screamed as she fell back onto a great mound of treasure. This was the chance Bo'sun wanted, he lunged at her. Even though she was in great pain, she managed to kick out and catch him in the stomach, sending him backwards.

"ARRGG" She growled, there were tears streaming down her face as she grabbed the kneecap and with one violent motion tugged it back into place. Sam let out a sigh of relief and pain and she sat back, but her rest did not last for long as Bo'sun had regained his bearings and was charging at her again. Sam lifted her sword and aimed at his neck and in one swift motion she sliced his head clean off, but he did not go down without a fight, as his body fell, he managed to bring his sword across her stomach. She did not feel this though as the pain from her knee had numbed her body considerably. 

"Take that you mongrel" She spat as she kicked his head around like a soccer ball. "That's right! how ya do like that" As she kicked the disembodied head around she noticed that every time that it went in moonlight it turned skeletal. "OOOHHHH" Suddenly she started to sing in a giddy tone.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, tidily, didilly.  
There they are a standing in a row, 1 2 3 4.  
Big ones, Small one…ONES AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD"

But soon she got over excited and booted it halfway across the cave. At this point she noticed that the other pirates had disappeared and Will was climbing the golden mountain towards the Aztec gold. She turned around to find Barbossa standing behind her.

"BARBRA!" She squealed, until she saw that he was pointing a gun at her. "Oh" Suddenly she couldn't move and then she heard the sound that she had been dreading.

BANG!!

Sam looked around and found that Barbossa had not shot her but instead Jack had shot Barbossa instead.

"Ten years you carry that pistol, and now you waste your shot." Barbossa sneered at Jack who still remained calm, in a very, VERY hot way.

"He didn't waste it." Will piped up, Sam looked at him.

"Nice of ya to join us, Willy" Sam quipped and saw Will roll his eyes. Everyone turned to Barbossa who ripped his shirt open and showed blood spreading from his wound.

"I feel…cold" Barbossa said as he fell backwards, dead on the gold mound.

"Yep…dying will do that to ya" Sam said watching him fall.

"Way to ruin a moment" Elizabeth said turning towards Sam "Oh, you're hurt" at those words Jack rushed over.

"Luv, are ye ok" he said looking at her wound on her stomach. 

"Oh no that's not me that's Bo'sun's blood" Sam said unknowingly that it was actually her blood.

"Oh ok as long as ye are alright" He said pulling her into a passionate kiss, which was interrupted by a high pitched scream.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER!!?"

The two broke apart and smiled at each other.

"Oh Will, you should see what we do in private" Sam cooed squeezing Jack's arse in full view of Will. 

"Oh My God!! That is…I can't…what…how…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" Will leapt off the treasure mound and started to walk towards the cave exit.

"Oh Will" Elizabeth sighed as she followed him, to try and calm him down.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh pretty" Sam started to walk over to a pile of jewels but she took one step and collapsed.

"Luv" Jack said as he rushed over to her side. "What's wrong?"

"I seemed to have hurt my leg…oh that's right I dislocated my knee while fighting Bo'sun…hehehe seems I can't walk" Sam giggled and smiled at Jack, who picked her up.

"It's alright Luv, I'll carry ye everywhere and anywhere" Jack smiled down at her.

"You're so sweet…OK, well let's grab some treasure and skedaddle" She laughed. They wondered around the treasure piles and picked up things here and there. Sam put a crown on Jack and he gave her a sapphire ring. As they made their way over to the other two they heard the latter part of their conversation.

"We should return to the _Dauntless_" Elizabeth said trying to get close to Will. 

"Your fiancé will be wanting to know you're safe" Will said sadly as Elizabeth started out of the cave.

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment…that was it" Jack said, sauntering up with Sam in his arms.

"You wanker" Sam sighed looking at Will from over Jack's shoulder.

"Don't get me started on you two" Will said walking after them.

They all got in the boat and started to row towards the _Dauntless_, Jack sighed and looked at the place where his ship was meant to be.

"I'm sorry, Jack" Elizabeth said

"They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that" Jack sighed and looked down at Sam in his arms.

"Luv, ye look a little pale" He said worryingly, Sam looked up at him and smiled.

"Yeah, feel…weird…too…" She said as she blacked out in his arms.

"Luv, LUV" Jack said a she started to shake her, that's when he noticed the increasingly more amount of blood appearing on her stomach. He moved the cloth away to find a very deep sword wound across her body.

"Oh My God" Elizabeth Gasped when she saw it.

"Quick Will, get to the _Dauntless_ as fast as ye can" Jack said encouragingly, but Will didn't need it, he was already rowing as fast as he could.

"Hold on, Luv. We're almost there" Jack whispered to the lifeless form in his arms. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Look at that, a nice 2,000 words, do ya feel special. 

Oh MY GOD people it is almost OVER!!!!! But don't fret because there is going to be sequel…there HAS to be a sequel…hmmm I wonder what I mean by that.

It's a bit of a bummer cause everyone has gone to bed, Jack is jetlagged and weeeellllll we kinda ran the elves out.

~*FLASHBACK*~

 Jack, Aus and Elrohir are chasing Leggy and Elly through the garden trying to "BRAID" their hair. Then Jack tried to 'seduce' Aus but Leggy stopped him…not sure why??? 

MAYBE HE LIKES ME…WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY

Well that was a boring ending thing…I'm sorry maybe I should wake them up for you…but then again…

~*FLASHBACK*~

Aus tries wake up Leggy (take a wild guess) and is thrown across room.

Tries to wake up Elly (Elladen) but is thrown across the room.

Attempts to wake up Hairy (Elrohir) but is…yep you guessed it…thrown across the room (apparently they like to sleep)

In the final attempt, tries to wake Jack up and is given a Snog…

Actually I think I will go and wake Jack up.

CIAO


	24. Fantasy is evil mmwwaahahaha

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Walt Disney was afraid of mice.**

RRRRREEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLYYYYYY? …how utterly fascinating!!! I'm not fond of mice either.  **  
  
**

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **The big fight in the cave, Coconut song, soccer + head = FUN, Sam kills Bo'sun, Bo'sun kills Sam??? 

~***Final Line***~** - **_"Hold on, Luv. We're almost there" Jack whispered to the lifeless form in his arms. _

**To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers**

**Crazy llama  - **yeah I like cliff hangers too…your review didn't come through on my e-mail straight away…not sure why but anyway a snog is a passionate kiss, English term…I think but runs well here in Australia too.

**Sweet A.K – Review 1) -  **You gave me two reviews…*gives you special one of a kind Leggy, Elly and Hairy dolls that make noises when you poke them*…so it's ok if you didn't review last time *shed tear* I made it though *sniff* hehehe…anyway WANKER is my favourite payout at the moment…I say it an awful lot…maybe too much…*thinks*NUH…ooohhhh tisk, tisk they must be punished…No clothes for a month hehehe that's my ruling here if they are bad…unfortunately they just keep reminding me that they can break me in two so they get away with an awful lot…Punching it gggoooodddddddd, oh HAPPY DANCE HAPPY DANCE *dances with Jack* yay, I love asking stupid questions, stupidity is a great thing you know, I live it , hehehe Snorrington what a GREAT name…I'll note that…hehehe THE NOISE IS SPREADING!!! *makes noise* YAY HAHAHAHAHA dying donkey noises HAHAHAHAHA *wipes tear away* **  
Review 2) - **Yes the songs are cool, I thought of them while unloading the dishwashers…I thought "hey why not make them sing 'Row' while rowing to the BP and Sam can sing 'Coconuts' while killing Bo'sun" …ooooooohhhhhhh maybe you should cry more often, I mean what's a tear or two when you can get comforted by hunks!! And yes Jack is BACK…for a bit anyway, he will travel around to reviewers who need him but stop in on the way for a day or two…actually he's off to South Carolina in a few days…*shed tear* but he will be back again and again and again and again!! And yes waking jack up is very FUN…I woke him up a few times last night *cough 8 cough* Haldir did it too!! (How weird does that sound…hehehe me and my dirty mind) It must be this thing with elves…they get paranoid in sleep too I suppose…but YAY you spent the night with Faramir and now Haldir is jealous…I can see a fight in you future…between…between Haldir and Faramir over…over…ahhhh the crystals have gone dark…bugger!!     ****

**Dimonah Tralon – **OOOHHHH no one likes cliff hangers hehehe maybe I…should…do them more often?? Oh Yes Jack has something to say.  
**_'Ello again Luv, I'm 'aving a nice 'oliday. Dya miss me?? _**Get off Jack, hehehe; he misses you…how sweet.

**Amanda – **Oh its ok, I don't mind if you don't review…at least you did!! OMG don't teachers always get in the way, and whenever you try to do something FUN on the bloody computer; they come along and ruin it!! Sure you can borrow Jack, how about as he is coming home from South Carolina he can drop in there and spend a week or two, and then come back to ME YAY!!  Oh I hope *looks around to make sure coast is clear*Leggy is jealous, hehehe, and he makes a move *starts to dream* ahhhh yum, yum pig's bum…err hehehe just a stupid saying… Actually I think he did see Jack do that because he's been really nice lately *shifty eyes* hmm but ya Neva, Neva, know, if ya Neva, Neva go!!! Hehehe…you might actually be one of the only ones who understand that!!!

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – **Wow, that's like on of the longest review's I've ever had!!! And I don't care if it's full of mindless ramblings…my story is made of mindless ramblings all put together…ya know there might even be a plot somewhere in there too!! OMG You don't have INTERNET I couldn't live with out it, it's like TV…must have it, Those stories sound really interesting, must get reading those Mellon Chronicles (I'm up to _Vilya_)…I'm so caught up in FFN it's kinda hard to switch between the two! But I will get through them…*looks at the sky* ONE DAY!! I always try to answer stuff in these reviews…like stuff yous all ask me and such but in your case it's kinda hard because you've "rambled" but that's cool, I actually just looked up her name on FFN and she has some good lookin stories waiting to be read there so better hop to and finish this update…before someone kills me…and then I can look at more stories YAY and yes I do feel very PRIVILEGED!!!!!!

**Zeldagrl436 – **its ok she'll be right…or will she??? Glad you like Hairy (Elrohir) many people over look him…it's kinda sad really because he's really NUTS! *gets a "look" from Hairy* I mean funny *mouths nuts and nods and then is hit with a flying shoe* HEY!    

I've decided to make the little story/author's note/ thingy only at the bottom…I dunno why, just wanted to and I am the queen of the universe, mmmwwwaaahhahahahaha *cough* I mean *mental raptor/parrot noise*

**I HAVE TRIED SUCCESSIVE TIMES TO POST THIS BUT FFN IS HAVING A HISSY AND REFUSED TO LET ME LOG IN, SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!**

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

"C'mon luv, wake up…please…please wake up" Jack pleaded to the lifeless form of Sam, who was lying in Norrington's bed. They had been sailing for 3 days and Sam still had not woken up. The surgeon, a sailor who knew his way around the body, had told them that she had lost a lot of blood and that the pains from both her knee and the wound have contributed to the shutting down of her brain.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how long it will be before she wakes up, her brain has shutdown in order to properly fix her body." The surgeon smiled sadly "I truly am sorry" he said leaving them all in peace.

"Well there is nothing more that we can do, I'm afraid" Sighed the Gov. looking sadly down at Sam.

"Yes, it will be a quite trip home, quite frankly…"Norrington gave a tired smile "I am not looking forward to it" He looked around at the grim faces of Elizabeth and Will and when he looked at Jack he saw a sight that would probably affect him forever. The pirate was crying…not bawling on Will's shoulder like Elizabeth was or storing rage deep down like Will, but quietly letting the tears run down his cheeks and letting them catch in his beard while holding her hand in his…praying…almost.

"Come Governor, I think we would be of much more use on deck" Norrington said quietly to the Gov. 

"Yes, yes, idle hands are the devils work" He mumbled as he was lead out of the cabin.

Will walked over to the side of the bed, kneeling down and grabbed her hand in a tight squeeze. He looked up and caught Jack's eye, and also received a shock by what he saw. Will gave him a sad smile, but Jack just looked through him.

"It will be alright Jack, I swear. She is strong…too strong for my liking and she knows how to handle herself…in ANY situation." But there was no emotion shown from Jack except from grief. A long silence passed, Elizabeth had cried herself into a slumber before anyone spoke.

"And wha' if she ain't alrigh'" Jack asked not looking up at Will, keeping his eyes focused on her sleeping face but the sudden noise was enough to awaken Elizabeth from her tearful slumber.

"Has she awoken?" She asked hopefully, but the two looks of sadness quietened her.

"'Ell?" Jack asked looking up at Will with a look that could have frozen hell itself.

"I don't know Jack, I really don't know" Will sighed looking down onto her face.

************************************************************************************

~*A WONDROUS LOOK IN SAM'S HEAD*~

Sam was sleeping in a big orange field when a loud voice woke her.

"WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY, WAKEY" 

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" Sam jumped up "WHAT THE HELL???!!!!"  

"Good Morning glad to see you are FINALLY awake" 

"Who are you?" Sam asked spinning around in a tight circle "Are you…my conscience?" 

"HAHAHA"

"HEY DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME, YOU BIG VOICED JERK" She yelled at the pink sky pointing her finger at a freaky looking blue cloud in the shape of a star.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not your conscience and I'm not up there" the voice said behind her, she spun around quickly and came face to face with what she though was an angel

"OH" She said in utter awe, the being laughed softly again causing his soft blond hair to glitter in the light. He was wearing a blue tunic and silver pants and was standing a good foot above her, looking down with soft blue eyes and his crown sat upon his brow. (*sarcastically*oh I wonder who it is)

"Are you an angel?" She asked looking up into his eyes which were portraying his amusement towards her.

"No, I am not. I am…well actually…yes…I think I could be. I am your guardian" He smiled down at her.

"Well, Mr. Guardian dude, where am I?" She asked waving her arms around eccentrically like Jack, who she was missing terribly. 

"You are in the Realm of Dreams, this is where people go when they get seriously hurt and need to recover…and you may call me Larean" he started to move off towards a pond, Sam following closely on his heals.

"So…Larean, am I…dead? Cause if I am…you've got big problems dude!" Sam said poking him in the shoulder. He laughed again and sat down on a large toadstool by the pond.

"No you are not, my dear. But you came very close to it…" Sam gasped "…but do not worry yourself, you had friends, family…and lovers back in the mortal realm that loved you dearly, and it is that love that sent you here and not up there" he said pointing towards the sky. 

"Oh, wow" Sam said sitting down beside him. "Hmm ok, so why is everything so strange here? I mean that fish is laughing at me!" She said pointing to a fish that was pointing at her from…the tree?

"Well, you are a very…interesting girl and this realm portrays your dreams…as such" He said looking quite confused at what he just said.

"Hmm, well then…when can I go home?" Sam asked looking sadly into his eyes.

"Why, whenever you are ready!" He said too cheerfully.

"Well then I want to go home now" She said standing up, Larean laughed again.

"No, no, no, my dear…" Sam frowned.

"Did you just say 'no' to me…'cause you don't? ...Ahh YEAH" Sam said uncertainly causing him to smirk again.

"You can not leave just yet, you must let your body heal" He pointed to her stomach. She looked down and after the delayed shock of seeing her all cut up and such; she noticed that she wasn't in her usual clothes. She was now wearing a light blue dress, actually it wasn't much of a dress it was more like a corset kind of top (that wasn't tight) and a skirt with a long slit up the front and it was shimmering with every movement she made.

"Preddiful" she said in awe twirling around but stopped suddenly "Hang on, how come I can't feel the pain?"

"You…ARE…IN…A…DREAM!" He said very stressfully, Sam smiled.

"Oh, really? ...you're pretty!" 

"Ummm…thankyou" he said with a stretched smile.

"I bet you're a great kisser" She said with an even BIGGER smile slowly making her way towards him.

"Um I'm not to sure" Larean shifted uncomfortable on the toadstool.

"I'm a pretty good kisser myself" she said shifting closer towards the toadstool.

"That's great…What about Jack?" he said leaning back almost falling off.

"Jack, Jack's the best kisser of them all! Although I haven't tried you…yet" Sam trailed a finger up his leg causing him to fall backwards off to toadstool. "Opps"

"I think someone's calling me…" Larean said quickly standing up and pretending to listen out "Yes, yes someone is, I best be off. I'll be back…eventually before you leave. Just relax and heal" and suddenly he vanished in a small flash of light.

"Hehehehehe" Sam cackled. '_Jack would have loved to see that' _at the though of Jack, Sam's smile faded and she stood up and walked over to the yellow tree, which the fish had recently vacated.

"Oh Jack" she sighed leaning against the tree.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I had to put the fantasy part in because SOMEONE had to be in the story, he was having a whinge about how Jack was in the story and he wasn't…just wait…soon the others will want to be in it too! Sorry it's taken so long, as you've noticed I've started my second fic…YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY and yyoooooooouuuuuuuuu said I couldn't do it!

_No I didn't_

**_I believe ye did, mate!_**

_Stay out of it, pirate!_

*Legolas growls at Jack then walks away, Jack just looks blankly at him*

**_What's up his …_***covers his mouth with her hand*

They have EXCELLENT hearing.

**_Ah!_**

Jack I don't want you to leave!!!

**_Won't be for long, luv! I'll be back soon, I promise!_**

Good, I'll miss you, don't forget, go to *shows him address of **LotRseer3350*** ok then after how ever long she wants you there go here *Shows him** Amanda's** address* ok? *starts to cry and Legolas storms back in*

_You made her CRY! _

**_No, I did…_***Legolas attacks Jack*

STOP, STOP, I'LL GET THE PIXIE STIX *Legolas backs off*

Good, now, I am crying because Jack is leaving!

_Oh, how sad…look at the time, you best be off!! _*Pushes Jack towards the door*

**_I guess I'll be seeing you later, Luv…BYE BOYS _**

_Bye Jack!_

**_Bye Jack_**

Bye Jack *Jack gives Aus a nice big snog right in front of Leggy* Oooeeerrr

**_Bye Leggens _***Jack Runs off down the street while Elladen and Elrohir hold Legolas down*

I'm going to miss him, he was fun.

_I'm glad he's gone_

OOOHHHH you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous you are jealous…

_No I'm not *_walks/storms off into another room*

OOOHHHH how about you two, care to have some fun annoying Leggy-boy??

_Sure_

**_Alright_**

Ok here's the plan…*whispers*        


	25. Welly well well a chapter for you

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Pearls melt in vinegar**

Hmmmm I wonder *finds some vinegar* now where are those pearls**  
  
**

~***Previously of ASBAON*~ **Everyone is sad as they make their way home, Sam's head is utter madness, guest appearance by LEGOLAS…I mean her guardian. 

~***Final Line***~** - **_"Oh Jack" she sighed leaning against the tree._

**To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers**

**Purplefluffychainsaw – **Funky name, oh I won't blame anyone…'cept maybe Leggolina over there, *points to Legolas who is tied to chair* hey now, randomness is a very good thing to have, without it, well do you realise how boring we would be! Well just imagine living in a brown wallpapered room with nothing but a pillow…yep that's how boring!!! Opps randomness hehehe um yeah so you're an Englishman…err women ey? Coolies just like Orli 'ey!!! We don't get much snow here, because we are right on the waterfront, that's ummm the Pacific Ocean I think…yep that's it!! Sorry bout the cliffy, I've had such bad writer's block lately, it's been real bad, like fully brain damage block kinda stuff going on…so yeah glad you're reading this!!! YAYAYAYAYA for new readers!!! 

**LOTRseer3350 – **yeah, I liked Will's reaction too!! Oh so the drunken hottie reached your house, ey? Bout time, JEBUS, took his sweet time, know you can have fun with him for a while, but don't let anyone else see him, especially if they get jealous easily!!!

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – **Don't listen to people who call your characters Mary-sues, what would they know…unless they are actually Mary-sues *shifty eyes* just because you are drooling after Leggy, who wouldn't…THAT'S IT they are jealous that you get to do that!!! So don't fret about it, hehehe randomness, ya gotta love it, it is the only way to write a story, sorry about the cliffys, I couldn't help it. Oh I'm up to *dramatic music plays* THE SEVENTH STONE _Ohhhhhhh **Uhh **_Thanks for that boys, Ooohhhh they are soooo good, fully addicted I swear, I'd print em out but I'd probably loose a page…oh I am going to read your stories, they look interesting. I have to admit, I do like the fall-into-Middle Earth genre, it's cool…I wonder who the first person to write one was…I wonder who was the first person to write a LOTR or POTC fic…OR who was the first person to start the WHOLE FFN thing?? Well I must now go and ponder my thoughts!!

**Amanda – **Yeah Darryl just kinda disappeared didn't he…oh well not a big loss, OMG you are like my sister, she eats sauce too, just tomato sauce. Actually Lisa's dream thing was what inspired it, the episode was on TV when I was writing it so I though, to hell with it, and I wrote what is now known as chapter 24, OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH Your favourite author *cries insanely* I feel so loved!!!Ooohhhh I wish I could get the POTC from Sanity but I already bought it from England reckon they'll just give me the book?!?! Prob not, but it's worth a try.     

**Crazy llama – **Yeah, Jack had to cry, I decided, it would show his…softer underside as it were.

**Candeebarz** – Yeah I'm kinda morbid that way…I think? Yes it was Leggy boy so you don't have to be humiliated; he begged to be in it…ok so he didn't beg more like threatened. 

**Dimonah Tralon – **She will wake up soon, it's not much fun when she's asleep is it? Yeah he did miss ya…*writes on white board* tell Jack that she misses him too and can visit again…Okey dokey. 

**Sweet A.K – **Dude, do you realise I was going to post this chapter last night but decided to wait so I could proof read it properly and when I logged on your review came through so it was really lucky timing!!! Yeah dream worlds are FUN specially when there are hotties in there!! Yes unfortunately leggy boy is a whiner and sometimes a wiener!! Mmmmm yes I did hehehe…HAHAHA…Mmmwwwaaahhahahahaha *cough* seems you really have your hands full there, but they are full of some very…VERY yummy things so I think it is alright!!! HAHAHA Haldir snorted hahaha poke him for me would ya?!? Faramir seems easily please ;) hehehe he is very well trained. But these elves are really hard to get into…their heads I mean!!! Anyway better get this thing posted before yous all try and kill me!!!

  **WRITERS BLOCK IS A CURSE!!!!!!!!!!**

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

 "Oh Sam" Jack sighed taking hold of both her hands; he was one few actually awake…in fact he had not slept since the accident. It had been three days and she still had not awoken, it was killing Jack to see her there so far way from him…yet so close. A heavy sigh was heard by the bed, Jack sat up alert but to his dismay it was only Will, who was asleep beside the bed, having a bad dream. Jack sat back, disappointed. He looked into her face, it was so peaceful, and it looked like she had only just fallen asleep. 

"Where are ye, luv? I need ye here with me" Jack whispered taking up her hands again. He felt the warmth of her hands warm his cold ones.

"If ye don't wake up soon…I'm not sure…I can…oh luv" Jack laid his head on her hands and fell in to a dreamless slumber.

*****************************************************************************************************

 Sam was sitting on the toadstool by the water's edge watching some cats swim by, a big blue cat and a small orange cat came quite close to the edge and suddenly she heard a voice coming from the water.

"Hey there, Mr. Frumpy fur. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?" The blue cat swam around the orange cat who was trying to bat it away. 

"No I don't wanna know" He said trying to swim past, but the other caught up and started to sing.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim." 

"Freddy, no singing" The other cat begged, but he just kept singing.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho. I love to swim. When you want to swim you want to swim" This caused Sam fall about in laughter, and as she did so her food landed in the water scaring the cats away.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh bugger" Sam sat up and looked around and too her surprise she saw a large…VERY large blue camel running in her direction. As it came closer she could see that it in fact had three heads and Larean was riding it. They came to a stop in front of Sam and Larean dismounted.

"Good day, Sam" Larean said with a smile, Sam grinned back.

"So who's this…your girlfriend" Sam quipped, Larean gave a tight smile. She certainly knew how to rub him up the wrong way.

"No, this is Amelia, Trealim and Bob" Larean slapped the camel on the butt and it look off in the other direction.

"Oh and where did she come from?" Sam asked walking with Larean

"Your imagination, have a very odd way of thinking" Larean laughed.

"Yeah, I've heard that before" Sam sighed "So why the sudden appearance?" Larean turned to Sam and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Your time here is up!" Larean said almost too cheerfully, Sam put on the puppy dog pout.

"Don't you want me here?" Larean almost fell for her trap but caught himself before anything regretful was said.

"Oh, I really do, but you see, there is someone who wants you more out there. Trust me you'll see me again. Just call for me in times of trouble and I'll be there to help you through" Larean comforted Sam "Right, now, stand here and in a flash you will be your old self" Larean moved back a few steps and started to chant some world in an odd language. Sam suddenly felt very dizzy and saw that her hand was fading, she decided to make a rash decision. She ran up to Larean and before he could stop her, she planted a nice big kiss right on his lips. Larean stumbled back and saw a fading Sam laughing.

"You know what, you're not half bad" She laughed before she disappeared. Larean shook his head.

"Why do I always get the insane ones" he sighed and lay on the grass and enjoyed the peacefulness.

*****************************************************************************************************

Jack stirred as he felt something upon his head, he brushed it of thinking it was a fly or at worst a rat. Suddenly he felt a sharp 'wack' as someone slapped the back of his head. He jumped up ready to kill the person who interrupted his slumber when he heard a sweet voice behind him.

"Slap my hand will ya!" Sam said watching Jack's reaction go from tired to anger to surprise to happiness.

"LUV" he hollered and threw himself beside her bed. The noise was enough to wake both Will and Elizabeth and cause Norrington to come flying into the room.

"IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN HERE?" Norrington yelled. Sam smiled back.

"Peachy keen, jellybean" Sam quipped from the bed. She was suddenly surrounded by everyone. And they were all asking the same question.

"Are you alright?" Sam smiled and pushed Will off.

"Come on Wilma, up ya get. I'm not going anywhere" Then she had to peel Elizabeth off.

"Lizzy, dear I can't breath. And I think breathing is the essence of life. So please release me!" Elizabeth reluctantly stood back up. Sam turned to Jack who was looking at her with his deep brown eyes and she just melted.

"Jack, I've missed you so much" Sam said as she started to cry, Jack sat beside her and took her chin in his hand.

"Don't cry luv" He murmured as he lent down and kissed her forehead. Norrington ushered the others out of the room.

"Best let them get reacquainted" He said with a smile. "How about some food, you haven't eaten much since the accident" Norrington said leading them to the galley.

Jack and Sam, meanwhile, where just looking into each other's eyes, deeply enjoying the privacy and each other's company.

"Luv" Jack whispered after a few minutes, Sam just looked at him and moved across a little, inviting him to lie with her. They lay there for hours just looking at each other and lavishing in the privacy they had for now. Sam was first to make the move. She moved over slowly so that her body was now pressing up against Jack's. She breathed in his scent, salt and rum, as she ran her hand through his hair and started to play with the beads that held a few strands in place. 

Jack just watched her enjoying the sensation of her touch as she moved her hands down his back feeling his rippling muscles beneath his white cotton shirt. She slowly rubbed his muscles making Jack moan softly and causing her to smile. She looked deep into his eyes and softly kissed his soft lips, Jack kissed back with passion and intensity, but still remaining in his position. He moved his hand behind her and pulled her closer. They had been this close before but the passion and intensity that they felt was like nothing they had felt before. Jack was careful of her still healing wounds as they lay there together, discovering each other's bodies and embracing each other. At that moment there was no one else in the world and that's the way they liked it.

Suddenly they heard Elizabeth's voice from the other side of the door.

"C'MON JACK YOU'VE HAD HER FOR THREE HOURS, CAN WE PLEASE SEE HER BEFORE WE GET BACK TO PORT ROYAL!" Sam and Jack chuckled as they heard Will pull her away from the door.

"Elizabeth, Shhhhh……JACK!! GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" 

Jack got up form the bed much to Sam displeasure and opened the door only to have Elizabeth come rushing in and push Jack out.

"'OI!" Jack yelled as he fell into Will "Geez, boy, ye've gotta give a bloke a warning before ye unleash that onto the world" Jack said pulling Will up.

"What have you been doing for the past 3 hours?" Will asked bracing himself for the answer but Jack just smiled in return.

"Wouldn't ye like to know?" Jack chuckled making his way to the bow; it had been a long time since he'd seen the sea. Ok so it had only been 3 or 4 days but to Jack that was almost a lifetime. He smiled to himself as he watched the sunset. 

She was alright, everything would be alright…for now.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'm sooooooo sorry!!! It was so short and it's been like…ages since I updated. I should be punished *Legolas comes running in* what?

_You need to be punished!_

Huh? You heard me.

_Elvish hearing!_

Ahh…I knew it was a mistake to untie you!

_You would have had to eventually, you know! _

Yeah, I mean, you are too hot to keep tie up…unless you not wearing…*Legolas covers her mouth with a very masculine hand*

_You shouldn't say that out loud _*Mumbles* _WHAT? Oh Right._*takes hand off*   __

Thanks…So leggy have you brushed you're hair lately? 

_Yeah… why?_

No reason just thought it could do with another brush.

_There's nothing wrong with my hair!_

Says you *Elrohir and Elledan walk in muffling giggles as they pass Legolas* 

_What are you two laughing at?_

_Umm, we just watched a funny show?!?_

_Oh and what was it?_

**_Pep_****__****_ Le Pew!_**

_Ok Right, well… I'm going to practice my archery!_

You do that

_I will_

Good then *Legolas walks/storms out, His hair has a big black streak through it* OH MY GOD, he hasn't noticed it, yet!! *they all fall about with laughter* Pepé le pew!! I can't believe you know what that is!

_We did our research!_

**_Yeah we ain't as dumb as we look _***thinks about it* **_Hang on I didn't mean it that way!!_**

Yeah sure you didn't!

What are we going to do when he notices?

**_Run_**

_Run_

Umm he'll probably catch me, so I'll run a bit and then probably hide…in the store room… I don't think he knows where that is.

*Yelling from outside is heard* _YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!_

RUN!!!! *They all disappear and Legolas comes in fuming*

_I'm going to kill them, my poor hair…_*Smells his hair* _what is this stuff?_

*Walks into his room and looks at his hair brush* 

_OH VALAR THIS IS SHOE POLISH _*Giggling is heard nearby* _I'll find you, my pretty and you're little twins too…OH GOD what did I just say???_

*MUFFLED VOICE* it's from the movie you watched last night… eep, stupid, shut up.

*Legolas opens up hidden door* _DID YOU DO THIS??_

*Puts on puppy dog face* No it was not me it was the one eyed man…err…twin elves?

_I think **your** hair needs a little… pick me up*_Picks upAus and takes her into the bathroom*

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *Bathroom door shuts*


	26. I SEE DEADCHAPTERS

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Turtles can breathe through their butts**

Hmmm I DON'T wonder what that'll smell like!!!**  
  
**

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** She awoke from the land of nod!!!

~***Final Line***~** -**_She was alright, everything would be alright…for now._

**To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers**

**Sweet A.K – **Hmmm I don't think this is a very funny chapt,do you? More on the serious side… don't like serious much…My god, you have changed that elf heaps, now he's snorting…hehehe I just pictured him snorting…it would seem that Faramir has a better sense of humour than Haldir! Rumil and Orophin…I know them…I'm sure…grrrr my memory isn't working, I'm gonna have to look it up, unless ya wanna tell me, but from the sounds of it they are exactly like the Gruesome Twosome!! You are gonna have ya hands full!!! Ooooooohhhhhhh so the boys read my story too!!! Coolies you can tell them that they are in my other story…eventually and *whispers* if he is nice to you he won't die in it either, but only if he's nice!!! 

**Candeebarz – **Sounds like you are in a good mood,Hehehe no cliffy in this one, hope ya like it, I was actually running out of ideas, but I'm full now so it's all good…no, no, no Jack won't die…or will he…MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA hehehe I'm not coughing anymore!!!

**Evenescent dreams – **Oh it was soooooo easy to get Leggy boy, besides he had it coming, I actually think I liked them drunk more…hmmm not to self: find more wine!! Yes he is beautiful but…no he is beautiful, but don't tell him I said it!! Sure you can visit…everyone can visit if they want…hehehe the elves would LURVE that!!

**Amanda – **Yeah, I like Jack and in all the other stories, he isn't very fuzzy so in mine he is!!! Ain't that nice, OMG GO FOR IT, I know he wouldn't mine…not…that I'm talking from experience or anything *shifty eyes* ;)

**Crazy Llama – **That's my fav line too, but I think he's come around on the idea of those two now!!! Shoe polish??? Ooohhhh randomness huh?!?! QUADRILATERAL!!!   

**Dimonah Tralon – **Oh he is protective, isn't he, but you'll find out in this chapt, who is more protective…well that just gave it away didn't it?? *hits head on wall* Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass, Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass, Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass…OOOOOOOWWWWW, bruising! 

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel – **HOLY CR@P MAN, another huge review, I swear I just finished responding to the other one!!! You meditate too, but I see you are forced to do it, I do it to try and find inner peace……AAAAAAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry, it's just funny, I'm WAY too hyper to meditate…I've been kicked out of so many of those classes (including Yoga) that I have a list as long as my birthday list!!! And that's long! You should staple the edges or corners so that when they are knocked over they are easier to pick up, actually for me it's numerous dogs AND cats, I luv animals so much…HEY Tears Like Rain is on their site now too!!! I've just finished it, it's good…four stories huh?!? *Golf claps* kudos (is that right) anyway I couldn't handle that, I can barley manage with two!! OMG I LOVE THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE ONION RINGS it's the best ever, I'm so glad she's continuing the story, I luv it, makes me laugh soooo hard, yeah Purplefluffychainsaw has already review for this story or the other one I think, coolies spread the word, the more the merrier!!! And I WILL eventually read your stories too, when I have time that is, HOLIDAYS IN 4 DAYS WWWWOOOOOHHHHHOOOO!!!!!!!! So expect a review!!! Hopefully a long one, so I can make YOU write a lengthy response MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA.

**Purplefluffychainsaw** – I just talked/wrote about you (see above) creepy…yep trust me I've learnt my lesson (see end of chapt) yes the end is coming, but the sequel will begin!!! ALL from my imagination hehehe

**LotRseer3350** – I kinda get carried away with the Luv stuff, sorry, can't help it, he's so hot when he says it though!! Leggy could so pull the Mohawk off, suits him I reckon, apparently he doesn't though…oh good, give him a kiss for me…anywhere you want!!

********************************************************************************************************

**_HAPPY EASTER_**

**_POOR THORPEDO, I wanna cry, he has to go in the 400m in the Olympics, he a sure winner for gold!!! _**

**I'VE UPDATED AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH**

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

"Lizzy, why are you looking at me like that" Sam asked. Sam hadn't been able to leave her bed because she was still so weak and Elizabeth had been sitting with her for…going on 7 hours and frankly it was starting to freak her out. 

So she spoke her mind "You're freaking me out" Elizabeth smiled warmly and stood up.

"It's just, I thought we had lost you and…and you're my best friend…my sister even and I don't want to lose you" Sam looked dumbfounded. She appreciated that greatly but could miss the opportunity that just opened.

"Well ya know if we're sisters…then…you and Will are brother and sister and well, I think that is kinda illegal!" Sam laughed as Elizabeth plopped down on the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I…well…Will and I have…umm" Elizabeth couldn't seem to find the words as she buried her head in the blanket.

"Let me guess. Will found out about the Snorrington proposal and is pretending he never really cared for you but he really does and he can't bear to think of you two together and is slowly breaking down from the inside" As Sam finished out of breath when she heard a gasp, and it wasn't from Elizabeth. "DON'T EAVESDROP WILMA!!" she shouted causing Elizabeth to giggle.

"I think that's about it…well the first part anyway, you may have to ask Will about the last part!" she sighed.

"Well I would ask Will but you see, there hasn't been an open timeslot" She laughed and raised her eyebrows to Elizabeth.

"Alright, Alright, I'm going" Elizabeth got up and was about to walk out when Sam signalled her to be quite and open the door quickly. And when she did so Will came toppling into the room.

"I…uhh…tripped" He stuttered as Elizabeth helped him to his feet. There was a moment that passed between them as Elizabeth held his arm and looked into his eyes.

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS, KISS" Sam chanted from the bed as Will gave her a withering glance, but the moment passed and Elizabeth left. 

"Thanks a lot" Will growled as he closed the door.

"You're welcome" Sam chimed as Will sat next to her on the bed "Ooohhhh are we going to have a Heart-to-Heart?" 

"I dunno, but you really scared me for a while there, Rappy" Will said stroking her head.

"You haven't called me that in…12 years?" Sam said as her eyes got all teary at the memories.

"I know, that's because last time I said it in public and you pushed me off a bridge" 

"Only because you trying to act all cool in front of your "mates" She made the finger quotations when she said "mates".

"What! They were my friends" Will defended.

"Yeah right, they were great mates, dobbing you in for stealing a guard's sword" Sam rolled her eyes.

"I didn't steal it" Will countered.

"Yeah right, is that why I had to bail you out?"

"You bailed me out?" Will asked shocked, she had never told him that before.

"That's right; I had to have dinner with some freak of a guard just so he would let you out" Sam shuddered "Ewwwww, do you realise the sacrifices I have made for you Will?" 

"Yes" Will whispered still in shock, all these years he thought that he was only meant to spend a night in the cells, so he would know that next time it would be harsher.

"No I don't think you do" Sam said, this conversation had become very serious all of a sudden. Will looked up in her eyes and saw not the usual laughing eyes but the more serious side of Sam that no one but himself had seen before, and he knew when she was like this it usually was very serious.

"Do you remember back in England, just after Mother died?" Will nodded softly "Do you remember how you were really hungry and took that loaf of bread?" Will nodded again

"I set sail the next day" he said barely over a whisper.

"Well, the punishment for stealing is public flogging" Will looked up with a horrified expression etched on his face, but Sam still wore the same calm expression she always did.

"I…I was to be flogged?" he asked, Sam nodded wisely.

"Yes Will, you were to be flogged, but I couldn't…wouldn't let them…you were so young and full of life, so…I took your place." Will gasped "That is why I didn't sail with you Will, I was busy taking your place" 

"No" Will looked at her softly, but Sam just nodded.

"Yes, I've always been there for you Will, and always will, and don't forget it" Sam took his hand and squeezed it, giving him a soft smile.

"I won't…ever" He squeezed back and returning a smile.

"Love you Billy" Sam said giving him a hug as she called him her childhood name for him.

"You to, Rappy" They embraced and smiled at each other, but Sam's held something more.

"I love you…just like Lizzy loves you" Sam saw him wince at the mention of Elizabeth. "AH HUH, I knew it"

"Knew what?" he asked with a sigh, regretting asking the question, but still happy that the serious part was over.

"You stuffed something up with Lizzy" She said a matter-of-factually.

"Really, and how would you know, pray tell?" Will narrowed his eyes at her.

"Oh I can see it, in your eyes and hers" Sam smiled softly as Will stood up, dropping her hand as he did.

"Really? Well then, if she really loves me then how come she's marrying Norrington?" Will said as he paced the room.

"Oh Will, Will, Will…how do you think we got Snoz to come and help get you? My powers of persuasion only go so far!" Sam laughed as Will gave her a confused look. "Oh Will, do you really think Liz loves him, she has and always will love…" Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Gillette walked in.

"Mr. Turner, Port Royal is on the horizon and the Governor and Commodore has requested you presence on deck" He said not once taking his eyes of Sam.

"Thankyou" Will said as he walked over and gave Sam a kiss on the cheek 

"I'll talk to you soon, there is something we need to discuss" Sam said as he walked out. She noticed that Gillette still hadn't left the room. "Why are you still here?" she asked, unable to hide her irritation.

"There is another reason I came to deliver that message, for had it been any other person someone else would have delivered it" He said stepping closer.

"HUH?" she asked not understanding what he said.

Gillette sighed "I am here to see you" 

"OH" Sam said not liking where this was heading.

"You do realise that when we get back to Port Royal, Sparrow will be hung" He sneered running his hand along the edge of her bed.

"It's Captain Sparrow to you" Sam snapped back.

"Who ever he is, he will be dead before he sees next Sunday, and in your best interests I insist that you choose a better, more respected suitor" He said standing at the end of her bed looking at her.

"Really and would that be you?" She said sarcastically, Gillette just laughed.

"If you insist" He said moving closer to her and reaching out to touch her face but he saw a look of shock and then a smile on her face as a strong hand grabbed his.

"Gillette! That will be quite enough. Leave this room…NOW" Commodore Norrington said pushing him towards the doorway.

"Ye…yes, yes Commodore" Gillette stuttered as he strutted fast out of the room. Norrington turned to her.

"Are you alright?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice and eyes.

"Yes" she said a little dumbfounded that Norrington had just came to her 'rescue'.

"I will make sure he does not approach you again" he said with a kind smile which she returned.

"Thankyou" Norrington started to walk back out but stopped and turned back.

"Would you like to come up on deck and see your brother's clemency ceremony?" He asked causing her mouth to drop.

"He's being granted clemency?" She squeaked and Norrington nodded. "Hang on what about me? Am I being granted clemency?" 

"You've had clemency grated to you long ago" Sam looked dumbfounded again.

"I did?" Norrington nodded "How?" 

"Well, the Governor had it done, just over 5 years ago now, when you saved Miss Swann from that mad man" Norrington came back over to Sam and stood down looking at her, he didn't seem to hold the same level of annoyance that he usually did for her. Maybe it was because she almost died, neither of them was sure, but there was something different between them.

"Ole' Gregory, he wasn't mad, just confused" Sam said looking up at him. He smiled back down.

"Either way, he was going to "sacrifice", as he called it, her to the gods" Norrington shook his head at the thought, but Sam just laughed.

"Yeah he's always been very religious" 

"Anyway, that was the day it was granted to you. You never knew?" Norrington asked, as Sam shook her head.

"No"

"Hmmm, you should have been informed, oh well, you know now so let us join them on deck" He bent over to pick her up, but stopped. "May I?" 

"Certainly! Surely you don't want me to walk?" She laughed causing Norrington to chuckle.

"No I suppose not" he said as he picked her up and cradled her in his arms. They made there way on deck were a crowd was gathered, and many of those were watching them as Norrington made his way through the crowd and over to Jack.

"Sparrow, I believe this belongs to you" He gave a warm smile to Sam as she frowned.

"Aye" Jack said, slightly confused.

"I belong to no one, Jimmy" Sam snapped light heartedly from Jack's arms. Norrington smiled back.

"Indeed" he said choosing to ignore the nickname and make his way over to the Governor.

"AGAIN WITH THE INDEED!" She screeched as Jack covered her mouth.

"Luv, best ye be quite" Jack said huskily pointing to the ceremony that had just began.

"Mmmmm I'm not sure how long I can keep quite in your arms" she murmured as Jack gave her a squeeze. 

The ceremony lasted about 20 minutes, and about 15 was the Governor blabbering on about something about his childhood and acting noble in the face of danger. Sam, though, was very content in Jack's arms, just staring up at him as he watched the ceremony and occasionally down at her. But all too soon they arrived at the port and stated to unload. Jack stood with Will on the dock, still holding Sam, watching as Norrington and a few guards walked up to him. Elizabeth was no where to be seen.

"Captain Sparrow, I am regretted to inform you that your time has come. As I am bound to uphold the laws that have graced Port Royal for decades it is my duty to imprison you and see too you're hanging tomorrow morn" Norrington looked sadly at Sam's distressed face as Jack closed his eyes.

"No" Sam whispered, tears streaming down her face as she looked up into Jack's deep brown eyes. 

"It's alright Sam, trust me" He whispered the last two words as the guards walked up next to him. Sam threw her arms around neck and passionately kissed him just before Will pulled her off.

"Shhhhh Rappy, calm down" Will said trying to calm Sam down, who was struggling in Will's arms as they led Jack away in irons.

"But…but he didn't even do anything, if anything he saved everyone's lives!!!" She stammered as she wiped the tears away.

"I know…" Will said as he was interrupted by Gillette walking down the gangplank.

"Well, well it would seem Sparrow's appointment has been kept after all" He laughed looking at the guards leading Jack away. Will shot daggers at him but Sam smiled sweetly.

"Gillette, come here for a second" She said huskily, indicating with her finger to come over. He stalked over to them and lent down close to her face.

"Yes, my dear?" he asked, Sam smiled sweetly at him and with a sudden motion pushed him backwards into the water. His cry made everyone to turn around, and most of them laughed at him treading water, even Norrington.

"HOW DARE YOU!" he hollered as he swam to the small ladder that hung down one side.

"Oh I did and I'd do it again, now come Master William take me home, I am quite tired after all that" she cheered as Will laughed and started to walk down the dock.

"Wait one moment Turner…s" Norrington called down the dock stopping Will in his tracks, slowly Will turned around and instead of finding an angry Commodore he found a Commodore trying to stifle his laughter. 

"Yes, Sir?" Will asked uncertainly while Sam beamed at Norrington from his arms.

"Would you care to use my private quarters? They are closer and my nurse will come and help with your wounds if the need be" Norrington said, mainly to Sam.

"That would be excellent Sir, but I don't think I would feel comfortable…" Will started but Sam interrupted.

"Luckily he wasn't asking you to stay! I would be honoured Jimmy!" Sam made some sweeping hand movements almost catching Will in the head.

"Watch it" Will growled, but Sam ignored him.

"Wonderful, Jackson here will escort you" Norrington said indicating to the guard that was now running towards them.

"Coolies, bags his bed" Sam laughed as they made their way towards the mansion behind the fort. Will laughed along with her but he could see it in her eyes and in her voice, she was missing Jack terribly.

"Will?" Sam whispered from his arms, he looked down and smiled.

"Yes?"

"Take me to the cells tonight?" she begged, Will squeezed her.

"Of course" Will whispered as they climbed the stairs to the mansion.

~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~

YOU'RE MEAN

_I'm mean! Look at my hair, look what you've done *_points to the black stripe*

I DIDN'T DO THAT, The Twins did, and Look what YOU DID!!! * Points to purple/blue/red/green/orange/pink hair full of so much hair spry its standing on end* I HATE HAIR SPRAY 

_Well I hate shoe-polish_

I didn't do it *gives Leggy puppy dog eyes* I swear

_You swear?_

I swear! 

_On your vodka?_

Ooohhhh that's harsh…Okay, I swear on my vodka!

_Okay then; I believe you_

Thankyou Leggens

_Where are they anyway?_

They ran off because they knew they could out run you!

_Really? Well I don't think its fair they left you to get the blame…do you?_

Oh no I totally agree, Time for a little payback maybe?

_Most defiantly!!!_

Oh how should we do it? Their hair maybe…or their clothes???

_I have a better idea _*Whispers in AUS's ear*

Oh that's good, mmmmm yeah that

_I haven't told you it yet_

But your voice is really hot…continue!!

*Continues to whisper and then they both run off and hide*

**_Is he there?_**

_I don't know...AUS!_

**_Don't call out you wanker!_**

_What did you just call me!!_

**_Wanker…She says it all the time_**

_Oh, I though you had a brain spasm and started to talk gibberish_

**_Oh now look who's talking gibberish_**

_Shhhhh, listen?? What was that??_

**_I dunno, but it isn't good _***Cage comes flying down*

_WHAT THE…?_

Ooohhhh you two are soooooo gonna pay for leaving me here!!

**_HOLY VALAR, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEAD!!!!!_**

OK you are SO first!!!


	27. OMG GASP! could this be the 2nd last ch...

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.  
  
**NO ONE LEAD ME DOWN STAIRS IT'S IMPOSSIBLE

~***Previously of ASBAON*~** They're HOME…oh and so many surprises

~***Final Line***~** -**_"Of course" Will whispered as they climbed the stairs to the mansion._

**To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers**

**Candeebarz – **that's alright, giddiness is the way of the future…remember that!!! And trust me; I have ideas already for the sequel of the sequel of the sequel!!!

**Sweet A.K – **poor, poor Faramir, or I should say Haldir!!! Are you treating them well?? Hope so…Yes Nozza is going to be nice, he has to be nice…for certain reasons that will appear sooner or later…hehehe…ooohhhh Gillette is going to be sssssssoooooo bashed all the time, wait until the next chapter!!! Ooohhhh they are worrying over you ain't that sweet!!! And yes stony faced is the right word for his face!!! Oh and if it is you guys reading this message and not her then give her this message and DON'T CHANGE IT!! I know you probably will, so I give you fair warning now.

**AMANDA - ***Looks around sneakily while climbing down from a tree dressed in all black clothes* hehehe Opps, didn't know that. *Throws clothes in near by bin* there we go *Elves scream in surprise but don't run away* WHAT *looks down* AHHH I forgot clothes *runs away and then comes back dressed in cowgirl outfit* There we go, all better…Hmmm Jack in uniform *starts to drool until Leggy hits me with a pillow and Drake tries to smother me with it* HEY can't a girl get any piece!!! Geeze, it seems when ever I mention Jack *leggy throws a pillow at me* HE DOES THAT!!! *Shakes off Drake who is biting my leg* AND HE DOES THAT…I don't think they like JA…him very much…oh well, LUV YOU Jack!! *Runs and hides*

**Crazy Llama – **I know…yuck the sadness; better get that comedy back posts-haste!!! I'll try hard this chappie though!!!

**RMT – **Yeah well I suck at summaries, what can I say, yeah she handled it well for the most part, but I still think she cried and awful lot BEHIND THE SCENES, Trust me I've seen Pirates, 57 times at last count, I can actually tell you which scene is which by the music and if you give me a 2 second flash of it, it's just I've altered the characters to fit my imagination, sorry if you don't like it but that's how it is. Yes I know some things Sam says is totally out of character for a whatever century person, but I wanted her to be the…basis as it were, for modern talk, or something like that. About Grammar, weeeellllll what can I say, if the computer don't see it neither do I!!! Thanks for your honest/nice critical/helpful review!

**Dimonah Tralon – **Ahh your review is longer I see, nice!! Yeah, she had to be sweet some time, oh that meeting will be emotional but I don't think I could do a whole chapter on it…*GASP* did some one say FLASHBACK!!!!

**Evenescent Dreams – **Hello there, nice of you to visit, I don't know where those damn elves are, I'll go find them you can talk to Drake ~*5 MINUTES LATER*~ I'm back…OH MY GOD DRAKE GET OFF!!! *Throws Drake off and unties you from chair* what were you doing? Beep little dee lee STOP TAKING PEOPLE'S SOLES DAMMIT!!! Are you ok, here Leggy will bandage your arm (He cut your arm for his creepy ritual, don't worry we've all been through it) Elladen will give you a massage *He sakes his head furiously but I hold a struggling Drake up and he final submits* And Elrohir take Drake to his cage please *They skip off together down the hall holding hands…and since Drake is only up to his ankle, he is kinda hopping weirdly* Oh no Notices you've passed out* Leggy give her mouth to mouth quick!! (I know you're only faking it, but I've done that heaps before too!!! I'll let you imagine the rest!!!

**LotRSeer3350 – **sorry, I guess I'm gonna get more reviews like that one now!! I've had two…three weeks holidays to write but I've been out doing so much stuff I've never had time!!! Sorry again, Just give Jack some rum and food and he should be quite for at least…ooohhhh…30 hours, I had to hid him from leggy once, apparently Jack put glue in his hairbrush or something, anyway I gave him that and Eventually Leggy got over it and Jack was safe!!! Yeah I though there had to be some Bro/Sis time because there hadn't been much bonding during the story, glad yous all liked it!! Oh and Rappy, well Sam's middle name is Rhapsody and well Rappy/Rhapsody you can kinda see the connection right? Yeah!!

**S0rceress-0f-the-sea – **OI LEG-BOY COME ERE!!! S0rceress says hello!!! Now say it back!!! _No _DO IT OR I'LL GET DRAKE *SIGH*_Hello my dear s0rceress, it is lovely to hear from you, I'm glad you appreciate me, unlike someone I know _I appreciate you!! _You don't show it!! _Well then I'll have to get to work on that then won't I? _I'm hoping…farewell young maiden!!_ Excuse me I have to go and "appreciate" Legs.

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel** – Oh my…GOD, I'm kinda frightened, this is a short review, um; I think I need closure Legolas??? Damn where's that elf when you need him, I bet he's hiding, he hides from me a lot these days!!! Ooohhhh an 'Aw' I'm flattered, oh and Rappy, well Sam's middle name is Rhapsody and well Rappy/Rhapsody you can kinda see the connection right? Yeah!! YAY FOR HOLIDAYS…hehehe um I've had two…three weeks holidays to write but I've been out doing so much stuff I've never had time!!! Sorry, I should be disciplined but I hate that stuff so, anyway, GUESS WHAT, I'M READING YOUR STORY, the one with 5 girls, it's quite funny, I'll get my act together and finish it tonight and review as well!!! Well better get back and finish replying so I can finish this chapt and finish your story and review AND finish Priceless Treasure!!! Boy I gotta lot of work to do, and it's already 10:10pm!!!****

I took the boys' horse-riding the other day…boy was it fun. A whole 7 hours of riding, it was great. Lucky they knew how to ride because I filled out their application forms and they were 100+ experienced, because they got some really stubborn horses, me, I got a crazy horse that kept trying to rear and buck while we were cantering…IT WAS FUN…you should try it!!! Ya know, even though they were born riding, practically, they still hurt like hell from trying to work the horses…ooohhhh I may have to give them a massage…poor me!!! ;)

~*National Rugby League*~ *COUGH, COUGH* YAY AUSTRALIA BEAT NEW ZEALAND HAHAHAHAHA IN YOUR FACE  
YAYAYAYAYA SHARKS KICKED EELS BUTT!!!!!! IN GOLDEN POINT AND MICHAEL SULLIVAN SET UP A VAGANA TRY AAAAHHHHHH HE IS SOOOO HOT (Sullivan not Vagana)    

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

"Here you are Sir and Milady" Jackson said opening the doors and indicating to the butler to come over, he explained to him what Norrington had said and turned back to them. "Fredrick here will look after you from now on" he said as he headed down the stairs towards the dock.

"Welcome" Fredrick said as he led them through the mansion.

"Ooooooohhhhhhh classy!" Sam squealed in Will's arms as they followed Fredrick. "Hey Freddy! Where are we staying?" 

"In the west wing" He replied, slightly annoyed at the use of his name.

"Ohhhhhhh the west wing ey? And where does Jimmy stay" Sam asked innocently as they continued down the LONG hallway.

"Who is Jimmy?" He asked looking oddly over his shoulder at the two.

"Why, Nor…Commodore Norrington of course, he has decided to be called by his given name of Jimmy" Sam said nodding innocently from Will's arms, Will just shook his head.

"Indeed" He smiled as he opened a door to their right.

"What's with everyone saying indeed all the time?" Sam asked softly irritated by the word.

"This is your room. If you need anything at all, please do not hesitate to call. A nurse will be with you soon" Fredrick stated as he left the two in peace. The room was very big and had a large bed covered in soft cotton in the middle; to one side of the room there was a lounge and a few chairs and to the other there was a dressing table and a closet. A large window that over looked the ocean was open and on the small balcony was a soft chair and table.

"This is nice" Sam said as Will lay her on the bed.

"Yes, it is very nice of The Commodore to allow you to stay here" Will said as he walked to the window.

"You're allowed to stay too" Sam said from the bed as the nurse walked in.

"Not at the moment he's not" she said walking over to Sam, Will turned around and noticed the determined look on the women's face.

"I'll be back soon" He said leaving the nurse to do her work.

"Hello, my name is Samantha Turner, please call me Sam though. And you are?" Sam said studying the nurse. She was small and strong; she had soft curly brown hair that was held back in a tight bun. She wore a white apron and a pale blue dress underneath it. Her face was soft with small lines of aging only now starting to appear around her hard blue eyes.

"You'll do well to sit still" She ordered in a harsh tone. "I can't see to your wounds if are distracting me with questions" 

Sam looked shocked "Don't bite my head off, I was just being nice. But I suppose you wouldn't know what being nice is all about, would you" Sam spat, the nurse looked shocked at her out burst. Women usually just did what they were told and didn't talk back.

"Excuse me" The nurse said backing away from the bed.

"Just because you've had a bad day that is no reason to come in here and verbally attack me when all I did was ask you your name. Why don't you just take a breather and relax for a moment. Trust me anything you've been through, I can triple it" Sam stated from the bed, silencing the nurse with a hard look. The nurse looked down at her feet and then looked back.

"Apologises, madam, my name is Ariana James. Please now let me attend your wounds" Ariana smiled softly in an apologetic manner.

"Thankyou Ariana" Sam said lying down and letting her attend her wounds. 

********************************************************************************************************

Will sat outside of the house watching the ocean. He didn't even see Norrington until he was standing next to him.

"Mr Turner, I assume that Miss Turner is being treated" 

"Mmmmm" Will replied, watching the ocean currents that pulled the small flock of seagulls slightly to the left.

"Something on your mind, Turner?" Norrington asked, trying his best to sound friendly, Will looked up into the face of his opposition, he knew he couldn't tell him what was really wrong in his heart.

"Sparrow" he answered leaning back against the pillar, Norrington nodded.

"He will be hung tomorrow morn." Norrington sighed, knowing that it was his job to hang the pirate that had, somehow, attached himself to all those involved and made such an impact on their lives so that they could never be the same again.

"I know, but, I just find it hard to believe that…to hang a man who saved _all _of our lives…it just seems so…wrong" Will said looking into the darkened face of Norrington (because it's night…duh)

"Yes, but Law is Law and I cannot change a hundred year law to save a pirate who will just use that escape route to continue to do dastardly deeds and risk the lives of those he attacks. I am sorry, but it will have to be done" Norrington turned and stepped in the door.

"And don't you try and make any hair brained schemes and escape attempts, there will be guards all around the fort, so he doesn't escape" and with that he left. Will sat back with a sly smile on his face as he looked at the moon.

"_I_ Wouldn't dream of it" 

***********************************************************************************************************

_"__♪__Cheese and chicken and relished peas, spiced beef and pork stew…I can smell some food, smell some food, and I wanna eat some too__♪__"_ Sam sang from her bed as Norrington knocked at the door. "Coooooommmmmmmmeeeeeeee iiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn"  

"Misssssss…" Norrington came into the room and then quickly turned around, coughing as he did so.

Confused by his actions, Sam asked from the bed. "What's wrong?" 

"You're…umm…bed clothes" he said trying to indicate but failing miserably. Sam looked down and noticed that her bed clothes were still sitting next to her, Ariana had to remove them to dress her wound.

"Hehehe…opps, sorry about that" Sam said shrugging her nightgown over her shoulders "You can turn around now"

Norrington turned around slowly making sure she wasn't trying to trick him some how, once he was sure he walked over to the side of her bed and smiled.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked eyeing her wound. '_Hmmm, not bad, nice muscular structure…OH what am I saying' _Norrington shook the though out of his head.

"I'm fine, much better now that Ariana fixed my wound. Are you alright?" Sam asked raising an eyebrow at Norrington's weird behaviour. '_Nutcase, though he is becoming a nicer, he is a nutcase all the same'_

"Yes, I was talking to your brother, just now" Norrington said sitting in a chair across from her. 

"What about?" Sam probed, she had a feeling that it wasn't what Will really _wanted_ to discuss but she had a sinking feeling that it was exactly what she _DIDN'T_ want to discuss.

"Sparrow, actually. Just some views about tomorrow" Norrington said noting the depressed look that over came her at them mention of tomorrow. _'She's quite beautiful in her own way…Not again' _Norrington shook his head again trying to rid these thoughts from his brain.

"Do you have water in your ears?" Sam asked looking at Norrington with a confused look. '_He's crazy'_

"No" Norrington said slightly shocked that she had noticed him shaking his head.

"Well, you look crazy, so I suggest if you are going to shake anything, shake hands, because every time you shake your head your wig slides around. At the moment it's sideways if you haven't noticed." Sam laughed as Norrington straightened his wig up. 

"Thankyou, it's just I've been thinking strange things and I'm confused about them" Norrington confessed slightly, looking down. _'She has a beautiful laugh'_

"Uh huh, Um Jimmy, my face is up here" Sam said pointing to her face, as Norrington's eyes had slipped from her face and were now focused on other parts of her, to say the least. '_Uh oh not good' _

"Oh, my goodness, I do apologise. I must be off now. Good night Miss Turner" Norrington said making for the doorway, when he heard Sam's voice huskily behind him

"You may call me Sam" She teased as he fled the room. _'Imagine what Jack would think!!...oh Jack!!" _

"SEND MY BROTHER UP PLEASE" She hollered from her bed, hoping that someone heard her. Sure enough 2 minutes later, Will came bursting into the room.

"What did you do?" Will accused, pointing at Sam who just looked shocked.

"Me? I did nothing! I was just sitting here…hang on, what do you mean?" Sam looked at Will with a questioning look.

"The commodore, he came bursting past mumbling something about, crazy thoughts and you" As Will explained Sam's smile grew bigger and bigger.

"That wasn't me, he was going crazy, I mean, one minute he is all fine and dandy the next he is shaking is head like he has water in his ears and looking at my chest. Now you tell me who's to blame" Sam said pointing at Will, who had nothing to say in return. "Now, please, can you take me to see Jack?" She pleaded.

"Of course" Will said with a soft smile as he picked her up. After he made sure that she was rugged up in enough coats to make a bear sweat, they made their way out the front door and towards the prison. Will looked down with a cheeky smile.

"So, Norrington was looking at you like…" Will started to tease her, but she bit his shoulder as soon as he started.

"Shut up, I can't help being beautiful" Sam tease back as they made their way down the quite street.

"Yeah right, you beautiful" Will scoffed.

"Oh shut up…Eunuch" Sam smiled devilishly at Will's shocked face at the use of Jack's nickname for him.

"What?" He asked shocked, as he stopped and stared at Sam's smiling face as she wiggled around and retreated under the coats.

"Nothing" she said innocently from inside her cocoon of coats.

"If you called me a Eunuch then I'm going to leave you on the side of the road" Will threatened.

"You wouldn't" Sam scoffed from under a red coat.

"Oh I would" Will threatened once more, sounding even more determined.

"Yeah you are right you probably would" Sam nodded coming out from behind the coats.

"That's right and you'll do well to remember that" Will said as he started walking again.

"I remember everything…sometimes" Sam laughed as they entered the prison.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sorry, it's really short, but it's better than nothing I suppose!!!

**MY DEAR FRIENDS**

It has come to my attention that FFN will now no longer allow me to talk to my boys *CRIES* BUT I WANNA!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry there can be no more humour from the boys, even though they really wanna talk to you.

_I don't_

SHHHHH YOU CAN'T TALK

**_Can I?_**

NO…hehehe opps.

Here is the rule

~"Please note that FanFiction.Net's content guidelines apply to the entire story. For example, if you have chat or keyboard dialogue in author notes but not the story, the entire story will be considered for removal. To sum it up, everything you upload is subject to the content guidelines and TOS."~

NOW THAT IS WACK

So unfortunately unless some miracle happens, my boys will only appear occasionally, YES THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE REBEL!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANNOT SILENCE THE YOUTHFUL MINDS OF THOSE AT WORK BEHIND MY STORIES………I don't know what that means but YEAH!!!!

As I cannot write what I really think here…because of youngens reading this, and the fear of losing my story…I will put it plainly…IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS

And this A/N will appear at the end of each chapter until the rule is lightened, I WANNA TALK TO THEM.

So here is a final word from them all.

_Goodbye dear reviewers, I am sorry you can't hear of our insane conversations anymore, Farewell. Legolas_

**_Farewell Dear people, with all my heart I wish we could continue to speak, but alas, it cannot be. With love. Elladen_**

_REVIEWERS FROM DISTANT LANDS …whatever they said…and as Aus says…TOODLE-OO. Elrohir_

Greep little freep fee diddle, lade dee lade dah, doodle hum duddle dee. Drake

He says "Die all of you and give me your spirits" but remember he is evil and it's his way of expressing his feelings!!!


	28. Flashbacks and gallows

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow**

**Previously of ASBAON ** Sam gets all fixed up, Norrington is acting odd, on the way to see Jack 

**Final Line**** -**_"I remember everything…sometimes" Sam laughed as they entered the prison._

**To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers**

**Misspresh – **Thankyou, yes there will be a sequel, I couldn't keep this crazy character under wraps for long, and she'd probably try and kill me ;) 

**Candeebarz – **See I agree with you, they weren't that bad, and I had fun telling you all about what crazy stuff happens here, psst they all say hi by the way except Drake who wants to eat you, but he's evil so you can forgive him!! 

**Sweet A.K – **yeah Nozza is going good, he has to for what I have planned…shifty eyes…hehehe hmmm brain freeze huh, that sounds fun, yeah Faramir sounds real smart, pity bout these elves, they just seem to get blonder or something, don't they?? So is Haldir Jealous/protective/possessive or just plain doesn't like you, if it's that last one…well I don't know why because you seem really nice to me!!

**Amanda – **wow you think I'm that good, JEBUS I'm blushing, I'd love to see my works in a book store, and I'd love to see money even more!!! I don't know where I got that tune from…OH WAIT I do, it was on a commercial and then I started to sing it everywhere and soon people started to hurt me when I started to sing it so I decided it would be a great weapon…whoa déjà vu…sorry but I felt like I had written that before!! 

**Dimonah Tralon – **me…a teacher…yes that would be good because soo I could spread my evil seed and create armies and take over the world MMMWWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHA…sorry seems George came back for a second, seems I need more suger!! Yeah that rule SUX, I don't think they can stop me from replying to reviews…other wise Drake will be going on a mail trip!!!

**LotRseer3350 – **I have passed on the message and all I got from it were "HI" and "DIE" (from Drake) and Leg said "See if I care" he's in a bad mood today, Drake tried to bite off the pointy tip of his ear while he was sleeping, poor Drake had to get some tiny stitches in his nose…hehehe he looks like a mini-footy player now!! GIVE Jack A KISS FOR ME!!!

**Purplefluffychainsaw – **'Ello, 'Ello, you're (as referred to by LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel) the crazy one right?!? HI, CRAZY = FUN!!! The boys all say hi to you and bye except for Drake sigh he said "Dreep lot fiddle fee pilly ree" which I think means, "Give me your spirit or I eat elf boys" HEY DON'T DO THAT!!!! Drake just bit Elladen's finger…Sigh what will I do with you?? Oh well better get that first-aid box out again.

**LegolasGreenleafGil-Estel - **SHOCKED AHHHH I'm scared a short review sits in corner and shakes uncontrollably what's going on?? Soon Drake will be acting nice and Leggy will be sweet to me and Elrohir will be smart and Elladen…well I don't know about him…he's odd is hit with shoe I know now, he'll stop chucking things at me!!...ok I'm in control now…REALLY I live on NRL, my fav team played tonight, the Sharks, and they won!!! And my fav player, MICHAEL SULLIVAN, was really great and hot too!!! I love horse riding!! Its soooo much fun, especially when you go jumping or gallop, that's the best!!! The boy's all say…hehehe…THEY LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!! is tackled and hit with random objects and bitten hehehe at least I said it!!!

**Zeldagrl436 – **YAY STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE!!! Obsessions are healthy don't worry!!!

**Arsinoe Selene – **I know I love talking to them at the end of the chapters too; I mean it's not hurting anyone is it!?! So what's the problem?? Are they secretly forming an organisation to take over the world…well I think Drake is but I don't think the elves have it in them is hit with shoes and books ok so maybe they do!!

**Serena the goddess – **thanks and I did, don't worry about that!! Writer's block in all gone, I think the story needed a twist, gives it body!!

**Butterscotchwarrior – **what sucks?? I didn't mean my story if you think it that way…did that even make sense?? Anyway, I blame FFN for it…what ever IT was…I need to go to bed!!

****

**I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CLOSED DOWN WONDERLAND!!!!!**

OH MY GAWD PEOPLE…THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!!! screams of NOOOO are heard that's right, expect for the epilogue but still this will be the last chapter of ASBAON!!! The CD by Evanescence: Fallen, gave me much of the inspiration for the mood/atmosphere in this chapter, (except for the flashback parts anyway) so if you wanna get the right feel listen to that CD and the tracks 3 and up. 

* * *

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

Sam stood next to Elizabeth as the crowd before them murmured as they watched the official making his way towards the gallows. Gov. Swann turned to the girls with a sad look.

"I do wish you would have taken the chance to sing" He sighed looking at the girls.

"Why, I can't sing…" Sam started but was cut off by Elizabeth.

"Nonsense, I have heard you sing many times" 

"…I wouldn't sing here, not now, not ever, even if the Queen herself was here witnessing this. I would more likely throw rotten eggs at her than sit by and watch as a gracious and heroic man is hanged." Sam said as she tried to walk away, but Ariana pulled her back.

"Miss, please stay here, remember you cannot walk without your crutches" she pleaded as Sam reluctantly stood where she was holding her crutches to her sides, she had refused to use that stupid device they called a wheel-chair and use these crutches as a way of at least keeping her dignity.

"Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have…" The official started to read the proclamation which meant the time was soon near. Sam looked at Jack and noticed that he was mouthing words.

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow" Sam said reading his lips as Jack looked up and caught her eyes, they held eye contact while he continued to read. 

"…for your wilful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith – piracy, smuggling…" Slowly the words started to disappear as Sam remembered what had happened the night before.

* * *

FLASHBACK

* * *

Will entered the prison with Sam in his arms only to be stopped by a guard.

"Sorry, sir, you cannot go in there." The guard said stepping in front of Will as Sam spoke up.

"Get out of our way, Goofy, otherwise I'll send my blood-thirsty hounds on you…besides we have Jimmy's…Commodore Norrington's permission" but the guard still didn't budge.

"I'm sorry but unless I see some proof of that I cannot let you in." Sam sighed and said.

"Proof, proof you want proof, you can't handle the proof. But if you want me to kick your arse then I would be very happy to oblige"

The guard looked at her and sneered "you don't seem to be in a position to hold that kind of threat" suddenly a stern voice from behind spoke up.

"MR THOMSON, I suggest you let these two through unless you would like to be back guarding the stables" Norrington said as he stepped up to the young man who lowered his eyes and moved out of the way of the Commodore.

"Turner" he said with a nod looking at Will, he turned to Sam and gave a soft smile "Sam…about before…" he started, looking slightly uneasy, but Sam waved it off.

"Don't worry about it, I realise I am remarkable beautiful and it is hard for most to not be attracted to me" she laughed.

"Yes, well, you are here to see Sparrow, I presume" Norrington said nodding towards the stairs.

"No, were here on our nightly walk around the prisons. It's a time honoured tradition to go into them and make fun of those that are locked up" Sam said sarcastically.

"Ind…" Norrington started with a sly smile before Sam cut him off.

"BLAH, don't say it, or I will find you while you sleep and do evil things to your wig!" She said pointing a finger at him.

"Very well then, follow me" Norrington said with a smile as he started down the stairs. They followed him through the dark and dingy place that was lit softly with some torches on the wall and the moonlight. They came to the end cell where Jack was looking out of the small window at the moon.

"SPARROW" Norrington said loudly, causing Jack to sigh 'Captain Sparrow' and turn around slowly. "You have some visitors" Jack looked up and his eyes brightened as he was Will and Sam next to Norrington.

"Sam!" he exclaimed coming towards the cell door.

"'Ello luva" Sam smiled from Will's arms. "Jimmy could you open the door? Please" Sam asked batting her eyelashes at him and giving him puppy-dog eyes.

"Fine, as long as you don't try and escape, Sparrow" He said opening the cell door; Jack was so preoccupied that he didn't even bother to correct him on the captain part. As soon as Will stepped close to the door, Jack grabbed Sam out of his arms and hugged her tight, kissing her strongly until Will and Norrington both coughed loudly.

"I'm so glad ye came" Jack whispered huskily setting her down on the small brick seat and she took his hand in hers and kissed it softly.

"I wouldn't have let you sit here all alone, tonight of all nights" Sam whispered looking into his eyes. Behind the Norrington locked the door and told Will to call out when they wanted to go and that they weren't to stay longer than 2 hours before he made his way up the stairs. Will took a seat on the ground near Sam's feet as Jack stood up and started to pace.

"I know how you feel Jack" Sam said softly watching as Jack turned to her with disbelief.

"Ye know what it's like to not know whether ye gonna see next week?" he snapped unintentionally. Sam looked hard at him.

"Yes I do know, you might find that hard to believe but I do" Sam said staring him down as Will touched her hand.

"Another secret I don't know" He smiled softly at her causing Sam to smile.

(A/N: just so you know, I've decided to make it so that Will and Sam came to Port Royal when they were 12 and 13)

"Yeah, you know for my brother you don't know a lot about me! Well when I was 15, I was with some friends down at the market and we spotted some of these guards that who had been harassing us the night before, so we decided to leave. But they spotted us and followed us and cornered us in some alley. It was 3 on 5 and they were outnumbered at first but 3 of our friends ran off leaving the 3 guards and 2 of us. Well they weren't going to let us leave so they started to advance on us. I managed to knock on out and hurt the other enough that he ran off but the other one was all over my friend so I…" Sam looked around to see if there were any guards around before continuing "…I grabbed the unconscious guards sword and stabbed the guy in the arm so he would let go of her, I thought it might have just gone through his shoulder but as he jerked upwards it drove it's self downwards and went through his heart. We got out of there and ran home, she was alright, very shaken though, and stayed at mine…"

"Where was I?" Will asked.

"You were with Mr Brown on an errand out of town, remember?, anyway the next day the other guard that had gotten away had found his friend just before he had died, heard what happened, came up with a story and managed to convince everyone that I had killed him purposely. They arrested me and Amy saying that we had planned to undermine the whole bloody navy and we were starting by picking off the guards and then we were going to kill the Commodore, the old one, and that was total crap, it was self-defence. We were placed in the cells for 2 days before our hanging, well my hanging and Amy's flogging and the guards were still harassing us, but through the bars. On our last day the guard that accused us was down their gloating about how we just should have let them have their way with us and this whole mess could have been avoided…unfortunate for him, Jimmy had accompanied a priest to my cell, you know so I could be cleansed of my sins and that, and had heard the whole thing. Needless to say we got out of there and he was kicked out of the navy and exiled from Port Royal for lying to the Courts and that. So I know what it feels like. We're very similar, you and I" Sam said to Jack who was leaning against the bars staring at her in disbelief.

"Wow, I didn't know that. Ye sure have been though a lot, 'aven't ye luv?" Jack said coming over and looking down into her eyes.

"More than you could imagine. But we're not here to talk about me, as much as I like it, we're here to talk about you" Sam said with a beaming smile causing Jack to smile back, the moonlight making his gold teeth shine. 

"Bout tomorrow, we…well actually I should say I…" Sam started but was interrupted by Will.

"Hey, I helped just as much as you did" He protested but Sam just waved him off.

"You just keep telling yourself that, Wilma, anyway…" Sam proceeded to tell Jack about their master plan, and how that no matter what happens he should get way because it was his life that was on the line. As soon as the last word was spoken a guard came down.

"Turners, times up" he said unlocking the door before making his way back to the stairs and waiting patently for them.

"Remember, don't let on about what we said" Will hissed as he stood by the door. Jack picked Sam up, who was crying, Will was unsure of whether they were real of just an act.

"Jack" she sobbed into his shirt as Jack softly stroked her hair.

"Don' worry, my luv. We'll be together again. In life or death, I swear by it" he said kissing the top of her head. They shared a soft secret whispered conversation, which was very intense before Sam buried her head in his shirt again. 

"I will Sing for you, which is very rare, on the hill overlooking the ocean" Sam said although it was slightly muffled by his shirt.

"It won't be that never ending song, will it?" He asked laughing softly, causing Sam to look up through teary eyes and smile.

"No, a special song, I wrote, just for you" and with that they kissed, long, hard and passionately until the guard practically dragged her out.

"I LOVE YOU" She yelled as Will carried her up the stairs, Jack had his head up against the bars, watching them ascend the stairs.

"You too my luv, always and forever"

* * *

REAL-TIME

* * *

"…impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy, impersonating a cleric of the Church of England, sailing under false colours, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation, and general lawlessness. And for these crimes you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul!"

"They left out ruggedly handsome, brave, funny…" Sam said into Elizabeth's ear as Will walked towards them.

"Governor Swann. Commodore. Sam…Elizabeth. I should have told you every day from the moment I met you. I love you." Will admitted causing Sam to smile and nudge Elizabeth. Will turned to Sam and gave her a quick look before heading into the crowd. Norrington saw the quick exchange and started to call for the guards but Elizabeth acted quickly.

"Ican't breathe." She said falling backwards as the drums sounded. The commodore and Gov. rushed over to help her as Sam watched the proceedings. Will struggled through the crowd, pushing people out of his way.

"MOVE!" HE hollered as he threw his sword at the gallows just as Jack dropped. Sam's scream held in her thought, even through she knew what was happening she couldn't hold back, but just as planned, Jack's feet landed on the sword and he was safe…for now. Will ran up the steps and started to fight the hangman while Jack just dangled there. Sam made her way towards their meeting place, unknown to Ariana, who was currently helping with Elizabeth, even though Elizabeth was now standing and trying to brush off her father and Ariana. Norrington was rallying his guards and chasing after them. Will and Jack were now using the rope as a weapon. 

Ahh rope, it is underestimated as a weapon, but really it is a very good weapon, as long as it's thick and heavy. You can knock people out with it and lash out with it like a whip and trip people and tie them up once they are down. I think people should use it more, sure you can use swords or guns or even bow and arrows, but who can truly master a rope…SORRY I got off track then, now where was I…Ahh yes…

Suddenly as it began it stopped. Will and Jack were now surrounded and clearly out numbered. Norrington, Gov. Swann, Elizabeth and Sam walked over to them. 

"I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill-conceived escape attempt but not from you."

"Hey it wasn't ill-conceived, it was really good" Sam protested hobbling out next to Will.

"On our return to Port Royal, I granted you clemency. And this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He's a pirate!" Gov. Swann said, astounded that Will had done such a thing.

"And a good man." Will said. 

"And hot, and brave, and sexy, and handsome and loving and strong and hot and sexy and handsome and…" Sam said watching Norrington roll his eyes as Jack pointed at himself and said softly to the guards around him. "That's me" but he was ignored by most.

"That'll be enough Miss Turner" Norrington sighed as Will continued. 

"If all we have achieved here is that the hangman will earn three pairs of boots instead of one, so be it. At least our consciences will be clear."

"You forget your place, Turner." Norrington said.

"Its right here…between you and Jack" Will said lifting his head proudly.

"As is mine." Elizabeth said stepping forward.

"If you haven't figured it out already then you're pretty daft" Sam said pointing a crutch at Norrington.

"Lower your weapons. For goodness' sake put them down!" Gov. Swann squealed/yelled as the guards lowered their weapons.

"So this is where your heart truly lies, then?" Norrington said, slightly downhearted.

"It is." She said softly, trying not to hurt Norrington anymore than necessary.

"Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this, I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually…Ecumenically…Grammatically?" Jack said getting right in Gov. Swann's face, who cringed and tried to back away. He then turned to Norrington and said   
"I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that. Elizabeth …it would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will …nice hat…Sam, Luv…" He said walking towards her and held her close and whispered softly "Always and forever" to which Sam replied "Always and forever" As Jack pulled her in for a passionate kiss that didn't end until Will poked his shoulder. Jack backed away with a sly, yet secret smile. "Friends! This is the day that you will always remember as the day that…" Jack stopped suddenly as he fell backwards over edge of the battlement.

"Idiot. He has nowhere to go but back to the noose." Gillette sneered, looking at the water.

"YOU" Sam screamed and started to hit Gillette with a crutch until Norrington pulled her off. Gillette limped away holding his bloody head in his hands muttering some curses at her.

"Did you really need to do that?" Norrington asked, as Sam smiled sweetly.

"He was asking for it" she said and made her way over to the edge of the battlement just in time to see the Black Pearl start to sail off into the distance. Beside her she could hear Will and Elizabeth.

"No…He's a pirate." Elizabeth said as she and Will finally showed their love and shared a passionate kiss.

Sam watched the Pearl sail away into the distance and spotted a figure at the wheel. She smiled a knowing smile as she raised a hand to Jack and waved him off.

* * *

FLASHBACK

* * *

"I will send you a letter. Telling you when I will return and when to look for me" Jack whispered as he gripped her in a tight hug.

"Send it fast, I don't want to be away from you for to long" Sam murmured with a tear running down her cheek.

"I will, it will be by messenger, so keep watch. Remember I will always return for you" Jack whispered softly into the top of her head.

* * *

Real-Time

* * *

"Always and forever" Sam said into the soft breeze that blew her hair softly around her as she turned back to find Elizabeth and Will still at it.

"Guys" She said snapping them out of it. "I realise you both have years of pent up passion rising in you, but seriously, GET A ROOM" Sam said laughing as Will picked her up and spun her around.

"Remember, you're the one who wanted this" Elizabeth laughed as they made their way out of the battlement.

"And I am glad it has finally happened. Trust me, I've been waiting YEARS for you two to get together…and now you can both talk to each other about how much you lust after each other" she laughed as they headed towards the carriage that waited for them. 

"You mean I get to ride in a carriage now! Will usually makes me walk" Sam said as Will placed her in the carriage seat.

"I do NOT" he said but after seeing her laughing expression on her face quickly turned from shocked to happy as he started to tickle her until Elizabeth pulled him off.

"Careful of her wounds" She said and gave a little squeal as Will pulled her on his lap.

"Wilma's getting frisky" Sam laughed as the couple blushed. The conversation slowly dwindled as Will and Elizabeth were to preoccupied with each other to talk. Sam looked out of the small carriage window as they passed the dock where she and Jack first met and then past the hill that was her favourite place to sit and think. It over looked the ocean and was very private. She gave a soft smile as she spotted a rope lying coiled on the side of the road. (ROPE IS A GREAT WEAPON!!!) She sighed and looked over at her brother who was holding Elizabeth close to him, Elizabeth was dozing but Will was awake and watching Sam with his soft brown eyes. They share a small smile as their carriage continued down the road towards their home.

"Will you be alright?" Will asked softly as Sam nodded with a secret smile and turned towards the ocean, only a small black dot on the horizon could be seen, if she didn't know what she was looking at she could have mistaken it for a bird.

"Always and forever"

* * *

**MY DEAR FRIENDS**

It has come to my attention that FFN will now no longer allow me to talk to my boys CRIES BUT I WANNA!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry there can be no more humour from the boys, even though they really wanna talk to you.

_I don't_

SHHHHH YOU CAN'T TALK

**_Can I?_**

NO…hehehe opps.

Here is the rule

"Please note that FanFiction.Net's content guidelines apply to the entire story. For example, if you have chat or keyboard dialogue in author notes but not the story, the entire story will be considered for removal. To sum it up, everything you upload is subject to the content guidelines and TOS."

NOW THAT IS WACK

So unfortunately unless some miracle happens, my boys will only appear occasionally, YES THAT'S RIGHT PEOPLE REBEL!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANNOT SILENCE THE YOUTHFUL MINDS OF THOSE AT WORK BEHIND MY STORIES………I don't know what that means but YEAH!!!!

As I cannot write what I really think here…because of youngens reading this, and I fear of losing my story…I will put it plainly…IT SUCKS

IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS

And this A/N will appear at the end of each chapter until the rule is lightened, I'm not saying remove it or anything but I WANNA TALK TO THEM.


	29. Epilogue OF THE END AAHH

**Disclaimer-** Lets get this straight, you all know I don't own a bloody thing….bugger…. so instead of saying all that crap I usually say I've decided to place the facts of life (no not those you perve) here.

**Almost everyone who reads the last chapter will try to lick their elbow**

I BET YOU DID!!!

**Previously of ASBAON** THE END

**Final Line**- "ALWAYS AND FOREVER"

**To My WONDERFUL, ALL GREAT, SUPERB, BEAUTIFUL reviewers**

****

**Thankyou so much for all your support during the writing of this story, stay tuned for the sequel that will be appearing soon!!**

****

**

* * *

**

**A STORY BY ANY OTHER NAME**

* * *

2 YEARS LATER

* * *

A soft voice travelled through the town, driven by the afternoon breeze. Will sighed as he heard the voice and turned to his fiancé, who was walking with him.

"What's wrong?" she asked noticing his sad expression.

"Can you not hear her, up on the hill? She is still waiting, though I think she may have finally come to her senses. Jack is not coming back, and for that, I hate him, for he has broken my sister's heart" he sighed as he looked towards the hill where a lone figure stood in the afternoon light. 

Her soft blue dress in which the skirt had many splits in it and long flowing sleaves, blew softly around her, and her hair was loose and wild.

* * *

_'I'm so tired of being here,   
suppressed by all my childish fears;   
and if you have to leave,   
I wish you would just leave,   
because your presence still lingers here,   
And it won't leave me alone._

_These wounds won't seem to heal;   
this pain is just too real,   
there's just too much that time cannot erase._

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears;   
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of you fears;  
and I've held your hand through all of these years;  
but you still have all of me.'_

* * *

A lone figure walked out of the shadows at the docks. In his hand he held a rolled up piece of parchment, a letter. He was a messenger, sent by a pirate, to find his love. He slipped through the shadows of the darkening street, passing many people. But one person saw him.

* * *

'_You used to captivate me  
by your resonating light;   
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind;   
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,   
your voice chased away all the sanity in me._

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
this pain is just too real  
there's just too much that time cannot erase._

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears;   
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand through all these years  
but you still have all of me._

* * *

"Hey, stop, in the name of the Queen!" 5 armed guards chased the messenger through the streets. He ran for his life, because he knew that if he was caught, it would be the end of him. They ran through the streets, twisting and turning until finally they reached a dead end. He turned to the guards and held up his hands in defeat.

"You had to run, didn't you? It'll be the gallows for you…pirate" the head guard said as they escorted him towards the fort. Once inside he would have to deal with the consequences. 

"Well, well, yet another pirate. The last one may have escaped but you can take his place, though I really would have enjoyed riding the world of the other piece of filth, take him away!" Gillette sneered at the pirate that was before him, but before he was taken away, Gillette spied the letter.

"And what do we have here?" He said curiously as he snatched it from the pirate.

"No yours, no yours" he yelled, his voice thick with an accent.

"No, it wasn't mine, but it is now. Take him to the cells" Gillette said with a wave of his hand as the guards dragged the pirate away, who was still screaming.

"No Yours No Yours!" 

Gillette sat down at his desk and unrolled the paper, shocked at the contents. His hand started to shake as he read the parchment. He took a deep shaky breath and looked at the fire next to him.

**_'My dearest luv,_**

**_I write this as fast as I can, because once again I have been captured. Not to worry though, no cell can hold me; ye know that. I am CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!!  
I'm sorry it is brief, but I am being transported to London for some trial, apparently ye ain't allowed to steal chickens…I thought that only applied to peasants…apparently not.  
This letter will be carried by a good trustworthy friend of mine, he will have a thick accent, he's a funny bloke, slightly crazy, but who isn't these days!   
Once I escape I will make for Port Royal, to see ye, I swear by it, I swear on Gibbs' rum…ye realise what sacrifice I made then? Gibbs just threw his boot at me, missed me by a fine hair, it did!!  
Until we meet again, my love._**

**_CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW' _**

"This doesn't need to be seen…" he whispered softly looking at the letter then at the fire. And with a quick sudden motion, he chucked it into the flames and watched as it disintegrated before his eyes.

"…Ever"

* * *

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone,   
and though you're still with me.  
I've been all alone._

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears;  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
and I've held your hand through all these years  
but you still have all of me.'  
**Evanescence – 'My Immortal'**_

Sam looked out at the darkening ocean with a hard look. She loved him, but her love only stretched so far, and she wasn't a very patient girl.

"Too long have I waited for you, Sparrow, Well no more, this will be the last tear I shed for you" She said as she wiped away the growing tears, and with one last look, she turned and headed down the hill, towards the town.

"It's time to get on with my life, he is in the past, and there he shall stay"

* * *

"Something's not righ' Jack" Ana-Maria said as she looked at him through the cell bars.

"Yeah, I really hate English cells" Jack said from under his hat as he sat against the cold brick wall.

"No not that, it's something else. Can't you feel it?" Ana asked looking worriedly at him as he lifted his hat and looked at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked getting slightly concerned at her worried expression.

"Someone has done something…"

"Gee that narrows it down" Jack said trying to gain a smile from Ana, but it didn't work; she just looked hard at him.

"Shut up Jack, it concerns you! Someone has given up, I can feel it on the wind" Ana said as she looked out of the small window. Jack stayed where he was but his eyes followed her every movement.

"Ana, I know ye have a knack for these kinda things, but get to the point…does it concern Sam?" Jack said getting instantly worried.

Ana turned to him and saw in his eyes how much love that was still held there for the woman he had left behind. She hated sensing these things; it was her grandmother's curse that had been passed down onto her. She held Jack's gaze with the same intensity for a few moments before walking away to the furthest part of the cell.

"She's given up on ye Jack"

* * *

THE END, THE END AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO Cries uncontrollably and is comforted by elves and Drake throws small beads at her from on top of a cupboard thanks sniff boys, I'm alright now…it's over, can you believe that? But don't worry my faithful readers there will be a sequel, called **"ALWAYS AND FOREVER" **

You know what…FFN is going to have to deal because this is the last chapter and they are going to say goodbye to all of you!!!

_Goodbye Aus's faithful readers, it has been a pleasure knowing that you truly exist!! Fair thee well, Legolas_

**_DEAR READERS OF AUS'S STORIES, thankyou for keeping her relatively sane, hope to hear from you all again, with love, Elladen _**

_HELLO OUT THERE!! This is Elrohir and I am here to say goodbye, I wish it wasn't goodbye but it is, so I will send you some flowers and you will get over it, toodles Elrohir._**__**

I think I'm having a bad effect on that elf!!

Greep little freep fee diddle, lade dee lade dah, doodle hum lah lee lardy dee tiddle winks duddle dee. Drake

He says "Die and give me your spirits so he can take over the world and enslave everyone and make the elves do the hula??? What the…?

I have a phone message from our wonderfully hot pirate!!!

**_'Ello Luvs, I'm sorry I couldn't be there to do this in person but what can ye do? Everyone can have a bottle of rum on me as long as ye give me some!! Goodbye CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow_**

Ok so that's everyone, thanks for reading my story and I hope you all stay tuned for the sequel, that I will eventually write!!!

CIAO EVERYONE


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